Lets keep the open floor

[OxyDout]

I think the open question idea is a good one, but if someone else thinks different then I will stop, but anyway I did something last night that I think can definitely help anyone keep their mind off of drugs.  My girlfriend bought me rollerblades last night and we went out rollerblading around 9:30pm last night.  It was incredible, it was one of those things that I forgot was so much fun.  We had the summer night, cool air, and we were flying up and down the streets...... And the thing that was even better was that I was sharing it with the girl I love. SHE bought something that FINALLY made me realize I WANT TO BE SOBER!!! It was the most incredible feeling, I WAS FREE!!!! Well, that is my two cents.  I haven't been doing so well with the tapering, I found the "stash" oh boy, I have found out that the only way i can do this is to go through the hell, but don't get me wrong, I didn't eat like 15 vic's in a day, I just haven't been sticking to the taper as wel as I should be.  

Well, I hope all is well, and please post often today.  

GROOVY WHERE ARE YOU!!!! I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM YOU, OH, I BOUGHT MY ROLLERBLADES AT THE LIBERTY TREE MALL!!

[OxyDout]

what post were you referring to? with a comment like that coming from you, THATS A HUGE COMPLIMENT, but I want to make sure i know which post it is.................

[ladysopranoinjersey]

GWH - Congratulations in finding an activity other than popping pills!  Out of everyone who posts on this board, I can definitely relate to you the most.  Getting exercise is probably the best thing we can do to get our minds off of taking drugs, besides it releases endorphins, our bodies natural chemical that makes us feel good.   Lately, I havent been doing so well, back to my tylenol 3 usage.  However, I am starting to see a therapist on a regular basis who hopefully can rid me of my bad habits.  Keep posting GWH, and keep up the rollerblading!

[jeepster]

hey thats a funny story but i sure belive it.Glad to hear youve been clean for 46 days.Keep up the excellent work.yea i mean work, sometimes it hard . Tomorro i wont be around because im going to cedar point. Its the first time not going stoned in a long time. Im looking foward to it as i can put my attention on my boy instead of my former drug of choice controlling my mind.Take care Marty

[OxyDout]

thanks for the post, I appreciate it, and I will definitely keep rollerblading!! hey, don't be so hard on yourself, T3 is by far the weakest of any opiates, well maybe not the weakest, but close to it, just start tapering down, you can do it, trust me. I hope all is going well, its hot as hell here in Boston.

[acowgirl]

I have been taking 20mg oxy-contin 2-3 x a day for two years. Recently I have been having alot of chest pain and feeling short of breath.  I went to the dr. the first time this happened. I just wondered if my medicine is causing this.  I have been very tired lately and crying for no reason.  I found this site because I am ready to quit the med. I am sure I will go thru wd and have already found so much helpful advice.  I have one more question...I recently applied for a new insurance policy, my family was excepted I was declined. Could oxy-contin be the reason they denied me? You guys are doing it...I am glad I found you.

[dlm]

Well, here goes day 3 of being vicodin free.  Started out feeling like ****......used to waking up and popping a few pills to get my day started.  Now they've got me on clonodine and valium, which I refuse to take anymore!!  I hate the way it makes me feel, and I've got kids to take care of.  I'm wondering if after the physical withdrawals are over, what about the mental??  Do anti-depressants do any good, because I feel soooo depressed I can hardly stand myself.  Moving from one room to another is a major chore.  Any suggestions??  Thank you all!

[OxyDout]

I don't know about the insurance, but I'm inclined to think that, that would be illegal to decline you because of oxycontin. AS far as the chest pains, did it happen when you took the meds, if it did, it might be because any opiate strains the respitory system. If someone was to OD on oxy it is because of respitory failure, so be careful, although your not taking a high dose so don't worry too much, I would go for a full physical so you could find your answer and put your mind at ease. But hey, your in the right place, lets do it together, I have hit rock bottom and I'm still floating there, but I'm in high hopes that I'm on the rise, and I absolutely cannot, willnot take no for an answer. You can DO THIS, ITS DOABLE!!!

excuse my language, but i'm so ******* sick of this ****.  I'm portrayed by friends, family, and co-workers as such a nice guy, hard working, good ethics etc..... but its all bullshit, I know that deep down below the drug addict that all the above is true, but i'm losing it, i really am, i can't handle it anymore. I'm sorry for having to post this stuff, but i have all this hate anger and aggression building up and i can't put a cap on it, i feel like i'm losing it, i'm worthless, i don't even deserve anything in life, i really don't, why have i done this to myself. there isn't a way out, atleast i don't see it, please help me guys.

[OxyDout]

the second half of that post was to everyone not to "acowgirl"

[hellbent]

I was on Oc's for 4 years, and I found that any number of physical ailments can be attribted to them. I had my left leg falling asleep (thought I had Multiple Sclerosis), skin problems, a little benign growth on my head, and some others. Everything has gone away after quitting.

Anyone who takes narcotics is familiar with constipation, and weight gain. What is often unknown is how this symptom can ravage your system. Your digestive system slows to a crawl, and minerals and vitamins are not processed. The list of disease and other physical problems that can result are myriad.

Another symptom of opiate usage is respiratory and central nervous system depression. So, shortness of breath is definitely a possiblilty, though I don't remember having it.

Try to drink lots of prune and grape juice, and do heavy impact excercise whenever you can. The first couple years, I played ultimate frisbee and basketball, and was far more "regular". Sports are, for me, much better than running a treadmill, as it gets the competitive juices flowing and you forget that you are forcing yourself to excercise. Problem is, as time goes by, and you do more opiate, you almost invariably become less active.

I've only been clean for 46 days, but I have lost 35 pounds, and people are telling me I look 5 years younger. Give thought to quitting if you don't absolutely need OC's for pain.

[OxyDout]

what do you attribute the weight gain to?? you think oc's will make you gain weight???? I have never heard of that.  I'm curious as to what the thinking behind that is.

[mrmichael67]

Opiates depress the respiratory system in high dosages.  I would say, definitely, that you are quite used to the drug by now and you don't experience any respiratory depression.  As far as straining the respiratory system, they do not.  The chest pain is most likely a coincidence.  As far as your insurance, are you prescribed these meds?  If you are, insurance can't deny you.  They are a legal medication.  And, they don't test to see what level of the drug is in your system, just whether it is there or not.  Did you tell them you are taking it when you were tested?  Of course, you would have to show them the script, or the bottle with your name on it.

[acowgirl]

gwh-I know I don't take much compared...but addiction is addiction and we all feel that way about ourselves at some time or another. I am a mom, a wife, and I take care of of elder relatives...I feel like there is no one to take care of me.  My husband tries to be supportive but his life is so much different than mine he really can't relate.  I have smoked pot, popped pills at will, and now I take these meds because I have had 2 unsuccesfull neck surgeries where they fused titanium to my spine.  I love exercise!!!but can't walk on my expensive!!tredmill cause of the pain that follows 3-4 days later...I want another child but am so afraid that I can't take care of one but my clocks ticking and believe me that clock is real.  I want to be normal, to feel normal to live without the aches and pains that I have daily, I want to be the one success story that makes the front page.  READ THE REMARKABLE JOURNEY OF A YOUNG WOMANS QUEST FOR A PAIN FREE DRUG FREE LIFE:  or DOCTOR COMES TO THE RESCUE WITH NEW AND AFFECTIVE TREATMENT WITHOUT PILLS. I don't know what my tomorrow holds for me.  I have dreams of being healed.  I wonder if the healing is within my own power and want to try.  I left the house for my sons brthday prty and forgot my meds and freaked out. I made it through but for the first 10 min. I was going to drive 30 miles back to get them. I don't know what to say to make you feel better but if your family thinks your great than you are. It is DOABLE you will do it. I don't know your situation, but I'm glad you replied to my post. Thank You.  Hellbent, just knowing that you feel better once the **** is out of your system makes it doable.  At first this medication was God sent.  I guess for the first year I felt great.  The first time I was prescribed the patch for pain and in 15 mins I was pain free, it was too strong for me so the dr. put me on oxy.  This medicine works but at times I feel so cloudy. and the chest pains are something I have been dealing with for the last 6mths off and on.  My husband is convinced it's the med. so I have to see because if it is I would trade this pain for the other.

[acowgirl]

I have had insurance for 12 years w/the same co. They went up to $12,000.00 no sh**. We applied for the ppo with this same co. I included medical history w/ the ap. I typed it out and went into the pres.meds. (they have to have that history on file anyway since they have been my carrier). I was declined because of med hist. they wont tell me  what part of my med hist. thats why i was wondering if it was the oxy.  They told me to mail a request for that info and they will send it to my dr. I would like to know why they wont disclose this info to me (the rejection)... they have referred me to there chip policy for those of us who have been turned down. Or to continue with the policy I have minus my family which is still over 400.00mnthly.

[OxyDout]

Have you been doctor hopping for meds?? if so that could definitely be the reason, the are starting to keep a very close watch on what doctors you see, how many you have seen, and in what time period, not to mention what they prescribe to you.  I hope you haven't done that because you could get in serious trouble.  But other then that, it makes no sense at all, who knows, its probably nothing.

[mrmichael67]

That is what I was thinking.  If you were doc hopping, then I could see them turning you down.

[acowgirl]

No Dr. hopping.  Just the fact that I have had the neck surgeries and chronic pain.  I really felt stupid after I wrote I didn't mean to whine.  It was a relief to read your answer regarding the chest pain.  I smoke and I guess that's it. I had my cholesterol checked and it came back really good so it's not my heart, I have gained wait due to stress and the fact that I stay so tired, I'm  not as active as I should be. I shuttle my kids, my mom, and grandparents around and thats it, I would love to rollerblade but #1 Ilive in the sticks and they don't do so well on asphalt and #2 my husband is skinny so I don't really have a work out partner and #3 I can't really work out cause of the pain I go thru afterwards.  I guess those are my major problems. I realize this forum is for people who deal with really trying to get clean, and I know my 2 pills a day doesn't really qualify me.  But I do have a sister I lost to crystal and ice.  She didn't die but she might as well. She chooses to be isolated from her family.  I also have a brother-in-law different sister, that is on meth really bad. I did alot of drugs in my early teens,to 20's but I decided to stop when I got married, mainly cause my husband is clean.  I really relate to the things you guys say, I am going to keep reading.

[hippy]

just saying hey, staying clean, working very hard.
i used to play semi pro basket ball but had to stop, when i was 36 because the strain was to hard on my knee's and back.
i was thinking of playing on sunday mornings on a wooden
court, the wood floor is easier on the knee's. the guy's who play are all in their fourties, so i think i can probley do it.
tho it is taking a chance, i don't want to injure myself now
that i am doing much better and have been pain free. knock on wood.
I hope everyone is doing good, it's always nice to come home from work and check out the site.

peace-----------------

[1fortheroad]

i cannot understand your insurance problem...i agree with the others that mentioned dr. hopping - i know that my insurance co. really keeps a close eye on that one.  if one of my docs hadn't told me he had received a list from the insurance company showing every dr and med prescribed from the past year, i would probably continued and then gotten busted.

anyhow, you should definitely see someone about the chest pains -that's nothing to mess around with.  is it pain or just really severe pressure?  sometimes, like when i'm in really big crowds or something, i get panic attacks.  i feel huge pressure in my chest, among other things and it is scary - at least i know what it is tho.

whether your addiction is to 2 pills a day or 20, there are still the same feelings involved i think.  you know you have a problem, and you've started recovery by posting here - good job:)  i was taking a ton of percs, vics and oxy for the past couple years.  i tried to quit and failed SO many times.  finally, i went to a clinic in florida (i live in boston) that prescribes buprenex.  that was in early april.  now i'm down to about 1 amp (i take it intramuscularly) a day, and i'm feeling pretty good.  buprenex has been a miracle medicine for me.  i haven't had any desire for pills nor have i had any withdrawal symptoms.  now i just have to give up the buprenex.  my doc tells me i should continue to use it as needed for the migraines which started me down the narcotic path in the first place.  i don't know what i'm going to do, but i'm not too worried about it right now.

WOW - guess i really felt like writing tonight!  sorry to run on and on...i really meant to just say welcome and all that.

gwh - sorry about not posting...i've either been lurking or just not around the past couple days.  it's been so hot (i love it!), so i've been laying low around the pool and stuff - lazy!  i hope you are ok, and i wish you HADN'T found the stash...did you tell your brother about that one?

[IrishRose]

gwh- am I ever glad to hear you are doing better!

J.B - Are you out there? Haven't seen your name up here in awhile, worried about you. You are sorely missed.

IR

[tex3]

Hi dlm and welcome! I had your exact feelings. Literally, I would walk from my bedroom to the kitchen and have to sit down. Thought I'd never make it back to the bed. Then I would cry like crazy because I felt like a worthless wreck. This was during my detox, three months ago. I seriously thought I'd never feel normal again. I do, though; actually better than normal because now I know what the alternative is. I looked this **** in the eye and I won. But it was the hardest thing I've ever done, and my life ain't been easy. Bottom line, you will get your energy, motivation, and zest for life back. I swear to that. But you have to get distance between you and the drugs. Once the detox is done you still have to face the other ****, but that too will pass.

GWH, you're a great person who is very honest with yourself and others. I really think you feel like **** and worthless and hopeless because you're still taking pills. Again, you have to get distance from them, and not just a few days. You can do this. Quit and do it today. Go through the hell and don't pick up another drug. Remind yourself that you are young and if you don't like being clean, hey you can always start taking them again later - it's not forever, right? If you want to be an active addict later, you can make that choice. But first try being clean. Maybe that will help you get through each day. It did me. I couldn't stand the thought of never having another pill, so I told myself I could pick it up again after I'd given sobriety an honest shot. I know many will disagree and probably lash me for this, but it worked for me. It was all that one day at a time stuff. And days turned into weeks turned into months and now I am free. Point is, quitting forever was too much of a committment and I was scared of it. Even though I knew deep down I was really doing just that, when the cravings got too bad or the WD was too hellish, I reminded myself of all that. And it got me where I am now. But you have to promise yourself an honest shot at getting clean, at rollerblading through life, before you decide to chunk it all for another pill. I only say this because you've struggled so hard and I want to see you make it so bad. Commit to a few weeks and see where it leads you, if you can't do it any other way. I could never taper personally; I'd tear the house apart searching. So maybe try committing to being clean for a certain timeframe? Hang in there buddy; you've been an inspiration to many and in my book, you're worth a million, flaws and all.
tracy

[fishman59]

sorry everyone but I have to say something--- Dr.Steve,It would be alot better to me and probably alot of other people (fellow human beings) if you answered peoples questions using your own words and education and not answers from a script!! I can assure you that I would NOT sue you for an honest answer. I have been looking over some of the questions people have been asking and they seem extremely scripted. Please get human!

[tex3]

JR, are you around? If so, please write to me. You can send to my reg email if you want, ***@****.

[tex3]

Guys - I found this post down in the May stuff, but dated today, so thought I'd bring it up so y'all can offer your combined infinite wisdom....here it is, copied and pasted:

FROM RORO:
Hi everyone, I have been reading your comments for the last few days and i am ready to get off the vicoprofen. I take 25 - 30 pills a day and have tried to taper but it didnt work. Funny thing is everytime i called the doctor for a refill whether it be 2 days late or 5 he would always refill so i was never out. i have 2 kids and have to do this for them and me as well. I syopped taking them yester evening 8pm and am already starting with the cramping and diarreah. i can use any and all comments on how i can get through this. Help needed here. Is there anything i can take or do to ease the agony i will be going through for the next week???? Helpppp

[jonathan44]

hello everyone, i read this site the other day and found that as usual, as a resource, fellow addicts are without equal in their knowledge, sincerity and concern.  therefore i would like to see if anyone can help with my present situation.  i have been a heroin addict for a couple years, within the last year i have been in and out of methadone programs, the last one ending about three weeks ago.  i have just obtained a five day course of buprenex and would like to know if i have gotten far enough away from the methadone to start the bup without the meth withdrawal being brought on as i have heard about on this site (not good)  so, can i take the bup now or should i wait longer for the meth to clear out of my system.  any help would be greatly appreciated, thank you.