Long term damage

[CHAD FROM PHILLY!!!]

I would like to know what are the long term effects of Oxycontin abuse? I was put on Methadone for five days to wean me from the Oxycontin. I felt no symptoms of withdrawl during that whole time. I haven't used in 20 days however for the last four nights I have been sweating so bad that I actually soak the bed. Is this normal? I also experience stomach pain every morning and sometimes through out the day. Thank you very much for your service, Chad

P.S. Could you please let us know why some of the threads disappear? Many of us type for a very long time only to find our posts gone later that day?

[cindi]

Hmmmm, you sound like my mom, doing everything youcould to help your daughter  when i went into treatment i was just 30..that was 10 years ago..when I went to court she went with me and cried those famous slient tears...on her death bed this past December 25th she begged me to be ok when she goes...I pray your daughter gets what she needs...WE, did not ask for this disease of addiction...when I was in school I did not sign up for addiction 101, it was not a lifelong dream to gorw up and be an addict...I do hear and have read many articles that give evidence to the fact that this disease of addiction and (alcoholism) is included in this is in fact hereditary..awhild back JB and I had a discussion about it..I was told in treatment that there are certain levels of chemicals found in the brains of addicts that are not present in "earth"people.. I could have been misinformed   spook is the one with the knowledge about the brain etc....and he has a pretty big one at that...ok  well take care and good luck  keep us posted and hang in there    cindi

[gannyma]

Hi I'm the mother of a beautiful 30 yr old daughter who is trying to come off 3 yrs. of oxycontin she was prescribed it for some surgeries she has had.She has stolen money ,my wedding rings,lied just to get these pills she snorted them 40mgs a months supply in 2or3 days .All of this while pregnant,she gave birth to a (so far thank God)healthy girl on 2/5/01.Later today 4/10/01 she goes to court for forging prescriptions(7 counts)I don't think jail is the place for her,I'm praying that she will get rehab.This is the worst time of my life and hers too,she also is bipolar.Please if you've just started to abuse or trying to come off please don,t let it ruin your life and the ones who love you.A question--is addiction heritary?The reason I ask is my mother also abused presciption drugs and alcoholisim is in my family.The long term effects ---who knows?

[DonaC]

www.ephedrineaddiction.homestead.com

[CHAD FROM PHILLY!!!]

Ok, I am still chuggin' along. Last night was not very good for me. Who said life was suppose to be fun every night? Anyway, here I sit. To be honest I am getting very impatient! Although my mood is positive my body is starting to feel the effects of depression. The thing is I am a very outgoing person. I need to be around people. I am stuck here in this house unable to work. Some of you might know that I am on workman's comp waiting for a settelment. I don't think that check will ever come. I am days away from saying screw this whole way of living! Pardon my langauge but F the drugs...F the workman's comp...F this whole sad world that I have created. Now by any means do not take that as a sad cry for help. I am screaming out inside to break free of my currant way of living. After the past 15 years I am finnialy ready to stand up and take resposibility for what I have done. My life is in need of a major overhaul. Thank godI still have many things. Some people are not as forturate as I am. It's jut very sad to be this young and not have any direction. Like I said I am 28 going on 75. I have seen way too much **** in my life. Anyway, I look forward to chatting with all of you.....brighty it always nice to hear from you!!! chad

[Brighty]

That you are talking and expressing your feeling is GOOD even if you feel like ****. My daughter could not deal with reality and emotions coming back... she also had been hiding behind the drug so long. It is the ONE big problem she always was referring to... having emotions again and not knowing how to deal with them, not knowing how to express them... and worse yet.. hating having them.. not wanting to have them... this is how the opiates steal your soul... they take your basic humanity away.. the true joys of life and knowing fully the pains are all numbed.

I think this is a major reason why it's good you are staying with your support group... they will reassure you, tell you what is normal to expect, and also help you with supportive  and safe friendships that will not include drug use. I think that for awhile you will have to use your "intellect" to get through this... to tell yourself "this too will pass"... and the good news is... IT WILL !! My observation is that time away from the drug eventually brings a rebalancing of the brain chemistry and a greater sense of control... and 22 days is admirable ... but it just 22 days so it's still going to be tough for awhile. God bless you, Chad from Philly !!! Love, Brighty

[CHAD FROM PHILLY!!!]

To be honest......I am not feeling too good today. I am mentally beat! I get very sad when I think about what I have done to myself. Do you know how bad I want to dabble? I know that I can't. They say just one is enough for me to go into full blown relapse. I constantly make justifactions in my head for using. I don't know why I have been clean this long. I am greatful but.....there is always a but. My mind is swimming right now. Ok, focus...Today is day 22. That's the good news. The bad news is I am torn right now. I know the reason...or should I say the cause...I am really fighting the urge to use. You see I have grown acustome to hidding any and all feelings I have behind a drug. The hard part is facing those feelings. SSSo what do I do? I can either use or not.It's that simple. Once the physical urge is gone then it gets alot eaiser. I have to be strong. If I use then I know all of this work I have put into my recovery will be useless. I cried like a little boy three fridays ago. I had to go into that horrible place without the one I love with me. That killed me inside. How can I ever go back to that? Then again my addiction tends to forget about those times. I want to say that I can use just one. The truth is I know that if I use today, then tommorw I will use again. My mind and spirit love the feeling of being high. I can't risk loosing the feeling of being straight. Every once in awhile I get very happy or should I say proud of what we have acomplished. To throw that all away would be a sin. Then again, I am an addict. You see this is such a mind trip. I'll let you know what happends...........for now I am straight..............Chad

[Gina]

I am interested in how you are doing in your new recovery. Did you know that you are considered "early" recovery for about 1 year? I have been following your posts since you began. Back when you were naive about how much the beast had a hold of you. When you had those refills and had them refilled like everybody who knows said you would. I have seen you grow with the realization of how powerful this disease is and will be forever. I could always relate to what you were saying and once told you I admired your honesty about being gone from the board for a period of time and when you returned stated you had been using. Remember all the s*** you got for that? Anyway, I want you to know how proud of you (and Deb) I am that you went to rehab to get clean and educated. But what I am most proud of is the fact you told your Dr. and other sources that you wouldn't be needing them anymore. That is the sign of someone who is SERIOUS about recovery. When someone does good they should be told, so CONGRATULATIONS on your new beginning. I know how those cravings come out of no where like you stated happened when you were on the computer. How do you handle those? I could use a new technique. Take care and my best to both you and Deb, keep up the GREAT WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

[cindi]

sorry  typo, I meant higher power not poser...

[cindi]

So, ya liked the parking lot thing HUH LOL  sure you can use and and take credit for it.  I went into rehab 1990, relapsed in 1995, (long Long story but it makes one go HMMMMMMM?) went back to NA at that time,  I will not say that I have been clean for that long though because on and off I do have to take narcotics due to alot back problems that happened over a 17 year nursing career.I do struggle.  It is not an easy road but it can be done,  We just have to be stronger than the monster and feed ourselves rather than feed the beast....You once had mentioned to me that you struggle with the higher poser thing,  Ya know, I never did struggle with that, God has always been in my life it has just been since my mom passed away that I have found myself starting to question my faith...I suppose it could be that I am hurting, and angry that she was taken away from me because in some I my posts I do make references to God in a positive way so I must still believe?  Oh well, ok  sorry I didn't mean to go on,  huh, typical woman I do stray off the subject easily.....Please give debra my best  love to all  Cindi!!!  LOL (hey Brighty it is contagious !!!)

[Brighty]

He's been whispering in my ear for lot's of years too... just about different stuff !! And I sure do know who he is.... "get thee behind me" is my reminder that he is bold enough to tempt the heavens... so no wonder we all struggle so much!! Love, Brighty

[Frankinscense]

Anger and or depression is part of the withdrawal process. Serotonin,various endorphins, and other N/transmitters must replinish themselves before our emotions stablise. It's a tough road but it can be done with the aid of 12-step meetings. Meetings are very important! Peer groups are a  must. You must talk to people face to face with problems like yours. Find an AA/NA meeting that suits you and attend them everyday twice a day if possible. Do not depend on this website to be a soul therapeutic aid. Abstinense is a process that that requires a lot of work. But it can be done! Be Spiritual, Stay Focused.
Dan...

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

There's a phenomina called the "Cocaine wall" that I've heard about.  It's something to do with the chemical staying in your brain for years and suddenly releasing causing a major relapse.  A few years ago, a friend of mine who had 8 years clean was walking around Wal Mart and said he could "smell cocaine" on another shopper.  He claimed it triggered his relapse.  

Maybe we have a similar problem with opiates as well.  Maybe someone like Spook has heard of this?  Some days it just doesn't take a whole lot to start the downward spiral again!  There always seems to be something in our subconscious that is looking for a "loophole" to give us a reason to use again.  I call it the "little ***** on my shoulder that whispers in my ear".  J.B.

[SnookieBear]

Hi Chad, I too am still detoxing from Oxycotin and Vicoden I was taking 50-60 pills a day for 19 months.  Unfortunately I had the money and the connections to never go one day without.  Life is pretty surreal right now.  I got out of Detox on 3/12/01 and have relapsed twice already, but today I am clean.   I just found out yesterday that I did not have to have a Colostomy Bag due to the extreme damage I have done to my Stomach, Liver, Intestines and Colon and the age of 30 (what a dumbass I am!).   The ***** part of this is that I am a certified alcohol and drug consoler and know what this would and will do to me, unfortunately we have a disease and those damn cravings will always be there, they do get farer and fewer in-between as time goes on.

When I was in Detox I wasn't given any narcotics (Methodone, Pain Meds), just straight up detox.  I had seizures, convulsions, shakes, sweats, night terrors and the stomach pain Oh my Goodness nothing could be worse.  I lost 30 lbs. in 21 days and just now can eat again.  

About the sweats, this is really hard for me because of my "Pride" which I found was killing me and now I need to share and get some humility.  When I was in Detox and 20 days out I have the sweats so bad that I had to wash up and change shirts every 1/2 hour due to BO.   No deodorant worked and I still have the sweats, chills, leg pains, stomach disorders but I'm alive.  People take 50-60 pills a day to die and I couldn't function without them.

You hang in there and please keep in touch with me as we are right about at the same level of "clean and detox time".

God Bless You.

Sara

[SnookieBear]

I read this every morning.  It is very powerful and helps me I hope it will help you and others.    

                       I AM YOUR DISEASE

I AM CUNNING, BAFFLING, POWERFUL AND SLICK.  YOU WILL NEVER SEE

ME COMING UNTIL I HAVE YOU BY THE THROAT, GRASPING FOR YOUR

LIFE.  I AM A DISEASE THAT HAS BEEN AROUND SINCE THE BEGINNING

OF TIME, YOU ARE JUST A BEGINNER. YOU WILL THINK LIKE ALL

BEGINNERS THINK. THAT YOU CAN HANDLE ME, YOU ARE NOT THAT BAD,

MAYBE ONE IN A WHILE OR THAT YOU ARE DIFFERENT.  I WILL KEEP

TALKING TO YOU BECAUSE YOU LISTEN; AFTER ALL I AM A DISEASE THAT

TELLS YOU THAT YOU ARE NOT SICK.  I HATE WHEN YOU GO TO

TREATMENT, GO TO THOSE STUPID MEETINGS, OBTAIN A HIGHER POWER

AND ATTEND COUNSELING.  YOU FOOL! I AM A VERY PATIENT DISEASE

AND WILL WAIT UNTIL YOU STOP TREATING ME AND THEN I WILL DESTROY

YOU.  NOT ONLY WILL I DESTROY YOU, I WILL ALSO DESTROY YOUR

FAMILY AND FRIENDS.  I PROMISE TO TAKE AWAY YOUR DREAMS.  YOUR

NEW DREAMS WILL BE TO STAY HIGH AND WASTED.  YOU WILL FEED ME

ALCOHOL, HEROIN, COCAINE, PILLS, POT AND SPEED.  I WILL TEACH

YOU TO LIE, CHEAT AND STEAL.  SLOWLY YOU WILL REALIZE THAT I AM

YOUR BEST FRIEND, LOVER AND HIGHER POWER.  I WILL ALWAYS BE

THERE WHEN YOU ARE LONELY AND I WILL FILL THAT EMPTY FEELING

WITHIN.  I WILL CONSUME EVERY CELL IN YOUR BODY AND BRING ABOUT

MANY NEW SUFFERINGS SUCH AS AIDS, LIVER, HEART, PANCREAS,

REPRODUCTIVE, SKIN AND BRAIN DISEASES.  MOST IMPORTANTLY, I WILL

RULE YOUR MIND; YOUR EVERY THOUGHT WILL BE OF ME.  I PROMISE TO

BE THEN WHEN YOU GET OUT OF THE HOSPITAL; I PROMISE TO BE THERE

WHEN YOU GET OUT OF PRISON.  I ALSO PROMISE TO BE THERE WHEN YOU

DIE.   FOR NOW, LET US HAVE FUN.

YOURS FOREVER,

THE DISEASE OF ADDICTION

[PS >>>>Annie]

WOW!....Talk about being plucked from the grave.  Man, what an ordeal to walk away from.  Thanks for sharing your story.  You will help many people here.  
If you don't mind me asking, why did you start taking the pills??
I'm just curious, I know that is not important now...why???
What's important is that your body needs to heal.  You will get better.  Thank God your alive....is right!!

Best wishes,

Annie

[Francoise]

I've been on oxycontin for chronic pain for two and a half years. I've experienced no ill effects, unless you call a mild paranoia about being physically dependant on this drug an ill effect. I've heard about certain "wise guys" being on heroin for forty years with no ill effects. The ill effects, I think, come from a) not having the drug, and b) the nasty stuff that street drugs are cut with.

I think that our negative enculturation about drugs in this society certainly is at the root of such concerns. We essentially receive conflicting messages. On the one had, drugs are bad and to be resisted at all cost, especially the opiods. On the other hand, we are encouraged to believe that for anything that ails us, the medical profession has a pill that will fix it, and fix it right now.

That's my case. Without this drug, I'd be in so much pain I would be essentially house-bound and unable to move around very much at all. With it I can have a life. But with it, I worry constantly about having it arbitrarily cut off by some bureaucrat, or do-gooder, or insurance company, or god knows who else.

There is a one-shot treatment available outside the US for virtually any addiction. It's outside the US, in my opinion, because there's a lot of money-boys who are heavily invested in the methadone treatment business, and a one-shot treatment would upset their little financial apple carts really good. My opinion is that it is unethical and immoral in the extreme to keep this treatment away from those who so desparately need it in favor of some business consideration. This treatment can be had on St. Kitts, and it's expensive - but not so expensive as the alternative. Here are a couple of links to information about this treatment, which use a substance called Ibogaine:

http://mir.drugtext.org/ibogaine/derienzo.html

http://www.ibogaine.net/newsletter.html

Perhaps we all could engage in coversation about this treatment?

Best Regards,

Francoise

[Brighty]

I have never heard of this phenomena but I do know that residual toxins do get activated from time to time... doing a liver cleanse will cause this... but is recommended to clean them out... also massage can have this effect and as the toxins get released cause some cravings... but I have not heard of something 'in the brain' being released... hmmmmm... you know I have also heard something similar about LSD flashbacks being from a release of residual chemical in the spinal fluid... have no clue if this is all true... I also hope Spook or someone will elaborate. LOL !! That's about how I'd see it.. the little ***** whispering in your ear !!!! :-)) Love, Brighty

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

I think that Sara's post above about summed it all up and put the whole thing in a nutshell.  The point is that the little guy never leaves us.  He'll say things like "hey, let's go have a beer!  Who's going to know about it?".  It's the Devil talking, of course.  He sets up a chain reaction that will end us up dead if we let it.  Pretty simple, isn't it?  J.B.

[cindi]

Just read your post, wow,  that is soooo true,  You have brought back some pretty unpleasant memories of my own detox, i guess we all have a story, I detoxed 10 years ago from demerol, dilaudid, numbutal etc. Being that I am a nurse I had access to just about everything.  the list goes on and on..anyway they gave me clonidine and Librium   big deal, the first 3 days I have no memory of except I was cold and shaking alot,,2 weeks in detox and the withdrawals went on for about 18 months  (minor stuff)  I did relapse a few times, managed to get arrested a couple of times and so the story goes...I have always thought of this disease as a thorn in my side...contstantly there and I have always said when I am at meeting it is out in the parking lot doing push-up gaining strength, I have to be stronger,  but only on a day to day basis..sometimes minute by minute...sometimes I fail, sometimes I do not fail but I never get ahead...it catches up to me...I can't ever say the monster is gone, is is not, it may hibernate but if I lure it out of hibernation with what it likes such as complacency,whining, and all that other bad stuff that addiction feeds on well then, it wakes right up..Everyone still suffering,  hang in there, it gets better, but please remember it never goes away...thank you for sharing  God bless    cindi

[CHAD FROM PHILLY!!!]

Sara, you truly are a great person in my book. Anyone who can live through what you did is a hero. I hope you can realize how freakin' proud you should be of yourself right now. You know what? I don't care if you relapse another 6 times! The point is you are trying! You have the desire and that is all that matters.I don't even know you but for some reason your words have touched me. That has NEVER happend to me before. I KNOW YOU WILL BE OK! Please, please give it a chance. I don't know what else to say....quite honestly, I am speechless.........hang in there and if you ever need to talk to me or my girlfriend (who experienced pretty much the same withdrawl as you) do not hesitate to write us at ***@****  Please be careful! We are the same age as you and just got out of detox ourselves.

[CHAD FROM PHILLY!!!]

Cindi, I love the monster in the parking lot thing! That is funny. Can I use it at my NA meetings and claim that I thought of it or should I give you credit? How long have you been clean now?

[Brighty]

I have closely been investigating ibogaine for over 2 years and know of many better treatment options than the one in St. Kitts. I would be interested to know if you have had an ibogaine treatment ?? You have posted about it several times. My personal suggestion is that people go to www.ibogaine.org and join the subscriber list. Ibogaine is a schedule I drug here in the US and of course it's withheld so the addiction industry can continue to flourish. I have been a regular on this board for a year and mention of ibogaine is only mildly tolerated. The threads get deleted quickly... thus my suggestion to join the list where you can disuss it and learn so much more from those who are really in the know. Love, Brighty

[joedice]

hi every one i posted here a couple of times..i just went 10 long hard days clean from oxys and vics...i was starting to feel a little better the depression was starting to lift and what did i do? yeah right back on the junk again,but at least i made it 10 days this time .i think each time i go through withdrawel i learn that its not stopping or quiting the pills, its staying of them...when i withdraw from the oxys i get the sweats so bad its like being in the showeri get soaked. the pains in my legs are wicked and the diarrea is bad to.ive been battling this addiction for 10 years...thanks for listening ....joe

[Brighty]

I can't give you first hand information as I have no personal experience. JB is the best source of your type of information here. My daughter got the sweats really bad in the beginning also. The counselors in the program said the same as JB.... it's all the toxins coming out... so this is really good. I know there is one famous program that uses saunas to get the toxins out... they claim that the residues stay in the cells for years and may be one cause of cravings that pop up from time to time. You may want to go to the gym and use the sauna, or take some herbal detox products to get a start on this process. Also, drink as much distilled water as you can in a day...fill a one quart sport bottle to keep track of your intake.... if you can, drink 2 of them a day. You are both so sincere and well directed... follow a program and you will make it. FWIW, I haven't used any drugs and sometimes I get a day where I am totally haywire, angry, cry and similar to what you mention. Yours may very well be due to what your body has just gone through.. but we are all human and have to cope with toxic emotions from time to time. Listen to JB... he's been around the block and will give you the best information. Love, Brighty