Day 25....Triggers

[frankis]

hey everyone,
Today is 25 days clean for me and some days are alot easier than others...today is not one of those days, as i was leaving my house today my neighbor came up to me...know that my neighbor is the one i bought pills from(vics,percs,oxys) and asked how i was doing and everything and said we should sell some stuff to make some money...instead of telling him no i said sounds good i need to make my money back...that was an hour ago and i realized i dont know to do anything like that for reason 1) im putting myself at risk and just realized i set off a trigger in my own head 2) i dont want to make anyone else ever have to go through something like this that i am struggling with now...if i mess myself up thats one thing but not another person anyways...what im asking is why do i put myself in these horrendous situations i am obsessing over a pain pill right now. i seem to tourture myself ive burned every other bridge(on purpose) but hes my neighbor unless i move out i have to see him sometimes and he is a trigger for me.  im leaving now to pick my gf up at her college and its an hour and a half drive but its good i really need to get out...i just wanted to hear what people thought about it i guess. thanks for reading hope all of you are doing well.

[justlikeyou]

be honest, tell him you quit and dont want to be his dealer or go to jail ; )

[No name22]

Just think and remember how wonderful (awful) you felt during withdrawls YUCK who wants to lay in bed twithching and wigging out w/hot cold sweats that would not be so fun...Just be stronge and nice about it and blame it on the g/f,LOL I don't just trying to give you a flash back.