Aa
My boyfriend....
Has been sober from alcohol for 38 days (same day as me, we did it together) and is DEPRESSED AS HELL! He started taking prozac a few weeks ago and its not kicking in yet and he says hes feels worse. He mopes around like ho hum and never smiles anymore. We used to have so much fun. He doesnt enjoy anything right now. He gets valiums to help with the transition of the quitting alcohol (or klonipin, still waiting for the prozac to kick in) then says he doesnt need em or want em and gives em to me. I still take em occasionally but my zoloft is kicking in and my anxiety is pretty much gone now. So then he says hes gonna flush em (the klonipins cuz they never worked for either of us) and then today he's on the phone with the advice nurse at his insurance wondering if he should go to the er to get some benzos. Im thinking WTF? I told him just GO. Look, I love you but Im tired of seeing you like this. I dont even understand whats going on in his head right now. He's been an alcoholic for 14 years and is just now learning how to live sober. While I can understand addiction (im an alcoholic and an addict myself) I dont get what he's doing. He does this every weekend lately. And he's not even abusing the benzos cuz he gives em to me. Weve both been taking them (i get them from my doc as well) but the er visits are getting outta control. It reminds me of when he was running to the ER three times a day to get me vicodins...
WTF...
WTF...
Truly, it sounds like he/you just need more time to get used to being sober....You can have no better friends, than yourselves and each other. FLaddict makes a very good point in that we want immeditate gratification likes the pills, Coke, or Alcohol gives us... you do say that he is waiting for the ADs to kick in. Well my opinion on ADs is biased because they never worked for me, even when I gave them the months doc said it would take to "kick in"...So then you may be left when what happens of/when they don't kick in.....Frankly I think it will be fine, as after a few months he/you will be more used to being sober. Honestly when I quit drinking a loooong time ago, I didn't miss anything except the partying, the bars. The bars were in my blood from working in them for so long in Miami, then from partying in them afterwards. I missed my fellow drunks. I was easier for me, because when I got out of the rehab center, my gf (now my wife) moved in with me. She still drank beer though, but that never bothered me. Later on in life it started to bother me though after I quit the pills, her friend would throw parties, where groups of folks brought their guitars and we'd all play together. Thats when I started drinking Cabernet. Who can drink too much hot red wine (I can), so I found myself trying to keep up with the party.. I'm sure you know what I mean. You can't keep up with the party without being drunk, so I would occasionally get drunk with everyone else. After so many years of not drinking anything 1982-2001, I started back on Cabernet. Well on a positive note I have since stopped doing that, except for the rare occasions when we play music and then I do limit myself to only a few glasses. I haven't even done that in 4-5 months, as I don't like drinking on the Norco....I am learning how to play sober.
I think its just going to take time for ya'll to get used to being sober, not partying, or at least not letting alcohol being the center of the party. The fact that you have each other will make the process easier. Go to some movies, go to the zoo (Ok I don't like the zoo either), but get and do some things together. He sounds like a good guy. If he was cool drunk then he will be much cooler sober. Time will tell.
I think its just going to take time for ya'll to get used to being sober, not partying, or at least not letting alcohol being the center of the party. The fact that you have each other will make the process easier. Go to some movies, go to the zoo (Ok I don't like the zoo either), but get and do some things together. He sounds like a good guy. If he was cool drunk then he will be much cooler sober. Time will tell.
Well, if slideshow leaves, then I'm leaving. Then wait2long will leave, and beatiie1976, and beach and...it's just madness!!! Hmm...unless we all leave and go to the same place...in that case...we may as well just stay here! See? An exercise in thought working towards lack of effort!!! :)
Yeah, I know what you mean luv. We made each other MISERABLE here after we stopped. After the initial "this is great!" wore off, we didn't know what to DO with ourselves. We took up hobbies out of desperation, to fill the time until things developed life-wise. I rebuilt this whole friggin' apartment from scratch over the past year and a half. Kitchen cabinets, desks, entertainment center...bookshelves, closets, bathroom cabinets and etagre'...etc...you name it. If I ever have to plane and sand another 2x4 it'll be too soon!
Yeah, I know what you mean luv. We made each other MISERABLE here after we stopped. After the initial "this is great!" wore off, we didn't know what to DO with ourselves. We took up hobbies out of desperation, to fill the time until things developed life-wise. I rebuilt this whole friggin' apartment from scratch over the past year and a half. Kitchen cabinets, desks, entertainment center...bookshelves, closets, bathroom cabinets and etagre'...etc...you name it. If I ever have to plane and sand another 2x4 it'll be too soon!
Ok...lots of comments to make...to savas-i get his a$$ outta bed early even on the weekends. but he's still like this....we need some freakin hobbies.
slide-how many times do I have to tell yer precious head that yer not hijacking these threads? everytime we email each other we learn from each other and that I cherish. I cherish everything you say. Weve never been to a bar together that is, we drank at home. He has no friends, cept me as he came from FL last year or so. He was a happy drinker. Never got violent, never cried etc...So maybe thats one of the problems right there. IT made him happy to drink and now he cant. I dont think hes trying to replace alcohol with benzos because he always gives em to me and says he doesnt want em. Then sometimes he does need em. He just wants something to ease the anxiety of dealing with sober life until the ADs kick in. and I completely understand that. Im going thru the same thing myself BUT my AD's are already working and Ive never been depressed. So I guess Im not too schooled on that subject.
You, my dear friend are more than welcome to hijack any thread you wish. Did you check out the thread that was TRULY hijacked today by some unknown person? Now THATS hijacking a thread.
slide-how many times do I have to tell yer precious head that yer not hijacking these threads? everytime we email each other we learn from each other and that I cherish. I cherish everything you say. Weve never been to a bar together that is, we drank at home. He has no friends, cept me as he came from FL last year or so. He was a happy drinker. Never got violent, never cried etc...So maybe thats one of the problems right there. IT made him happy to drink and now he cant. I dont think hes trying to replace alcohol with benzos because he always gives em to me and says he doesnt want em. Then sometimes he does need em. He just wants something to ease the anxiety of dealing with sober life until the ADs kick in. and I completely understand that. Im going thru the same thing myself BUT my AD's are already working and Ive never been depressed. So I guess Im not too schooled on that subject.
You, my dear friend are more than welcome to hijack any thread you wish. Did you check out the thread that was TRULY hijacked today by some unknown person? Now THATS hijacking a thread.
I'm a bit sad for you lady. You life is hard enough, then with his issues on top of yours, it just makes it harder. If you do truly love each other though, it CAN work....You two can keep no better company than each other if you can both stay sober and be happy in each other company. Hell eve if you just watch TV and eat potato chips together, its better than bar hopping and popping pills together............
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