Help

[Jane477]

I just found out my daughter has been doing crack, crystal meth, oxycotton, anything she can get her hands on.  Her boyfriend said they're doing $500 a day in crack.  What do I do?

[LIZZIE LOU]

hello jane...and welcome to the forum

i am the mother of three addicted sons.  one has been clean from meth for a few months now and the other has been clean from crack for over two years.

there is always hope sweetie...but it will be a long, hard road to travel...i'm not going to sugar coat it.  so many ppl will tell you to just forget about her...that she will not stop unless she wants to.  i agree with that...to some extent.  what you need to realize first is...this is not your daughter talking...this is the addict.  the drugs are doing her thinking for her right now.  with that being the case...someone has got to step in and take the bull by the horns, so to speak.  

if it were me...and this is just my opinion ppl...i would get to your daughter as soon as possible.  i would force her...if you have to...to come home with you.  if she has been up since christmas eve...she is about ready to crash.  she has to get away from the drugs in order to do that.  as long as she is able to get her hands on crack...meth...whatever...she is going to use.  while using...there will be no reasoning with her.  SHE NEEDS TO CRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

is that a possiblity at this point?

[1234betterlife]

what? why would you say that? that is incorrect and cruel.

[LIZZIE LOU]

WTF are you talking about man?  your reply was waaaaay out of line and i for one take offense to it.  if you are going to say things of that nature...take it somewhere else.

guess you dont have to guess that i clicked on NO on the "was this coment helpful to you?"

[gizzy32]

hi i just sent you a message in you email box

[Jane477]

What is your solution?

[kimmiek]

Hi - If I were you I wouldnt trust the bf either.  He's probably lying too.  Cant say for sure, but sounds like he got mad at her for throwing him out, so he used you to get back at her.  Maybe you and the other grandma should get together and try to find out whats going on with the two of them.  Remember as everyone is saying, addicts lie and steal and cheat and he is one too.  I'm gonna be saying a prayer for your situation.  I hope everything works out and that you find some truth to whats going on.  

[Greatgreebo]

First, I am sorry you have to deal with this. Second, protect yourself as the others have told you to do. Third, offer to help your daughter but do not enable her to use drugs. No paying her bills, no bailing her out, no anything except helping get her to rehad. It sounds terrible but sometimes 'tough love' is the only way to save a person. An addict will use you until you have no more to give. If she hits bottom she may decide that your offer to help her quit is quite appealing.
Also, let Gramma 2 know that your daughter is on drugs and is not allowed to see the baby. If you have to involve CPS.
Let us know how you are.
Possibly set up a profile so we can PM you?
Hang in there. You are doing the right thing by standing your ground.
Greatgreebo

[wait2long]

1234betterlife & LIZZIE LOU...know what they are talking about here..please listen to them...their advice is from the heart and their knowledge is from experience...they will steer you in the right direction...

[1234betterlife]

i am going to stand by what i thought last night. i think this is a dangerous situation for you. i think you need to protect yourself. i think she is in a lot deeper than you know. i think the boyfriend is right there with her. he is lying as well and keeping her going will keep him going. i have a solution but it will not be popular.

[traveladdict]

Sounds like she getting drugs over the internet.  

[BlotOutTheSun]

no idea, it could be more crack, but i doubt it get through the mail, hopefully it isnt something that could get you into trouble, that would be so low

[1234betterlife]

this is what addiction does. the paranoia, the thought of losing her "lifestyle". her addiction will say/do anything to keep itself going. she has no intention of quitting on her own...her addiction will dictate that until she runs into a brick wall. she will be angry and hostile..she will refuse all help. there may be a way but it will not be easy.

[Jane477]

Her mortgage is in arrears, she damaged her car but you can't believe how she said it was done.  Christmas Eve the police showed at the house saying her car had been involved in a hit and run supposedly.  I wonder if they were spotted buying.  He had a package mailed to my house recently that she waited out in the car for it to be delivered to my house... gave some excuse like they didn't want it mailed to her place because they might not be home.  Any ideas on what's up with that?

[BlotOutTheSun]

well ive read most of this post and thats definatley the drugs talking for her, because her being busted or losing her child cant be her own fault she has to blame someone else, but maybe thats the only way shell quit

[Jane477]

I'm afraid to have her in my home right now.  I live alone and she has physically assaulted me in the past... when she was a teen.  She's extremely angry right now.  Her last words to me last night were... well I guess I'll just wait and see how much you're going to try and f**k me over now.  In other words are you going to try to have me busted or take away my child.  

[traveladdict]

You might try a group Al-Anon this group can teach you about addictions and might help with making a decision on which path to take.

[MissBecca24]

Im sorry hunny , some people say bad things! DONT LISTEN TO THEM! Lizzie is such an inspiration! listen to her she has great advice! Hang in there and please please let me know if I can do anything to help!


Becca

[LIZZIE LOU]

do not...and i mean do not...believe anything...not one thing...that she is telling you right now.  one reason addicts remain in active addiction is because of denial.  she is lieing through her teeth...the addict is very manipulative.

[Jane477]

I'm so scared.  She called here last night angry that I gave the bf money.  She said he just went out and bought crack with it.  I figured he probably would.  What bothers me is she is a very convincing liar.  She has her mother in law questioning herself.  The mother in law says she doesn't know who to believe.  I said remember when you had a couple of crack houses in your neighborhood, my daughter hated them and the people that went in there.  I said why would she bring a crack addict into her home now, with no qualms whatsoever, unless she is the same.  

[1234betterlife]

you are right honey. she is not a hopeless cause. ignore that. stay here with us. there will be many to help.

[Jane477]

I just read the comment and I don't believe she's a hopeless cause.  I confronted her last night.  She finally answered the phone.  She denies it and said it's only the bf doing it.  She called her mother in law who has been looking after my grandson.  She's almost got her convinced that only the bf has been doing crack.  I told her my daughter is lying.  She wants to see her son.

[traveladdict]

When you log on send a pm. We want to help her and you.

[johnnykelly]

Jane,this sounds like a hopeless cause.This person cares little about you or anyone else,she is a hard core crack-head.The only end being Jails, institution and possibly death.

[1234betterlife]

there is no need to give up. this just takes time. okay? come back, there are good people here that can educate you. that is how you will gain control of yourself and with empowerment the situation will follow.