Pain vs. Medications???????

[livngr8ful]

I have had 5 spine surgeries.  2x failed micro diskectomy, L3-L4, L4-L5, L5-S1 PLIF, 1x removal of hardwear, L1-L2, L2-L3 fusion.  So either way my back hurts constantly, as it should after all that.  I have struggled with alcohol abuse, and medication abuse.  I have about 6mth's free from drinking, not a problem, i just feel better. Now I am currently taking pain med's, Oxycontin 60mg 1am -1pm, and Oxycontin 40mg 2 @ lunch.  I can say it has helped the most with the pain.  Also, it has ended the battle of the old IR meds.  Ya know when ya run out because 2 is better than 1.  Now my question:  I feel guilty about taking the meds.  I know I need them because this hurts.  My wife has been a big supporter with all of this.  She says I need to quit making a big deal out of this and just take the med's because they work.  I agree, but still at least once a month I want to get rid of them all and not even deal with it.  I take a few days off of the meds a month, usually between a week - to two weeks off.  I do this to keep my system in check, and also to prove to myself I can stop this at any time.  Now when I do this the pain comes back and it takes a day or two to catch back up.  Im miserable during this time (no meds), pain and grumpy with not much I can do on my feet but for more than a few minutes.  Its a huge internal struggle for me.  To take or not...  I dont like the med's, but they help.  I dont get my jollies off of them either.  I dont misuse or abuse, thought I have in the past (mainly with short acting med's).  So my question is, how do I get through the turmoil of this?  Its a big decision to make.  I can take the meds and live relatively free of total discomfort, or not and be in pain all the time.  I have to deal with this for ever, so I need to find either comfort in taking them or to find comfort in not taking them.  My reason for not wanting to take them is because of my history and Im tired of the medication roller coaster that this is.  Pain meds are not like other med's, you are looked at and questioned by everyone.  So you start to feel like the people who use for recreation.  Any thought of reason would help.......   I have had issues with addiction, am I in the wrong for taking pain meds if used correctly? TOTAL FRUSTRATION!

[Back_2_life]

Put it to rest in my humble opinion. If your pain can be managed with other alternatives you'd be way better off in the long run. There is too fine a line and so many people (myself included) started narcotics never believing I'd get hooked. That assumption was the beginning of the end for me. I would walk, no RUN now from the narcs and don't look back. You don't ever want to go through what me and many others here are fighting. It's an ugly battle and with many casualties.

[livngr8ful]

I should be clear.  I have been taking meds as rxed.  I am currently not taking anything for 3 days.  I dont have any issues with craving as I have became use to the break.  I am just at a point of do I start aagin next month like usual or just put it to rest and deal with the pain. Its a situation  that im struggling with.

[don1234]

i have had sane issue but found using more than prescribed became a problem after a couple years l4 l5 l5 s1  fusion with hardware posterior  and ,anterior after 2 yeaars of meds just wanted out to see where i was figured was atleast dependent but found out addicted when i made excuses to keep taking them yes i hurt day 14 off meds except tylenol but i think now i did not or do not need a serious med like that to keep the pain down a hot shower or bath is quite soothing and the longer on them pills i guarantee will be a bigger struggle for u to get off i wish u the best and keep yourself strong mentally the battle to get off them can be ugly and there is lots of support here when our ready.