Please help with 12 day sleep loss from oxycontin

[bronzeback75]

I have been 12 days since cold turkey quiting of 160 mg daily of oxycontin,I need serious help in the sleep department I beleive i am throu the worst of the physical withdrawals but need sllep soon or will have another nervous breakdown please help i also have lost 14 lbs due to lack of appetite

[Seamstress]

Uniwse, your post was simply beautiful. It really moved me. I have a story to share about thanking God since you expressed some guilt over that.   I used to think I should be thankful to God because there are always people worse off, etc.  One day I was jogging and I was halfway through my run and a thunderstorm blew up.  I tried to think of something positive about getting pelted with hail and cold rain so I thanked God for the rain, the farmers needed it. When I got home, I went into the basement and stripped out of my wet clothes.  As I went to turn out the light switch, lightning hit the sump and electrified everything in the room and I got jolted pretty good.  So I now have a real problem thanking God. Rationally I know that wasn't a sign from God but it's pretty hard to dismiss.  I mean, lightning? LOL. At any rate it sure was negative conditioning. So I figure if I live a good life and try to pass it on, isn't that thanking God?  And I actually do stil thank God once in a while but I always feel uneasy :)

Baddgirl, I've prayed countless times in desparation and not gotten an answer.  Or maybe I did and didn't see it.  And sometimes I've prayed and gotten an answer and been sorry I asked for it.  As they say, be careful what you ask for. Sometimes I think we're just meant to go through things because we need to, no matter how painful they are.

[Unwise]

Thank you for the positive comments about my post.  It was from the heart, obviously, as is most everything in this forum, and it is reassuring to know there are those who understand.  I am moved to read about just giving up to a Higher Power without trying to understand it, and getting results.  Good for you.  I am trying to do that to, now, and to succeed I must have an open mind and heart.  I'm working on that, too, with the help of all of you.  I suppose the most important thing for me is to not have any grand illusions or expectations.  I may just be pleasantly surprised.  Nor will I completely abandon my own belief that I can do it myself, without God, as I have succeeded at that before, which is the best indicator that you are on to something.  But if that is not working for me this time around, then I am willing to take help wherever I can find it: from you, my anonymous friends, and perhaps from a mysterious higher power who will show his/her grace to me if I only allow it.  Anything is possible if we give it a chance, and I thank you all for providing me with the hope to see things another way.  Although I do not pray in the conventional sense, nor believe that there is an entity that controls my life, I do have an overwhelming sense of awe about the ultimate mystery of life itself and the wonders of this universe, the miracle of creation, the gift of life.  Perhaps this force does not decide who lives or dies, who gets cancer and who wins the lottery, nor has any conscience influence in our lives other than having put us here and given us the free will to make our own decisions.  And today especially I have been thinking that it is altogether possible to give oneself to such a force without expecting any favors, rather the sense of freedom of knowing that we are all part of something greater than our sum, something intangible and yet capable of lifting our burden. Like some of you, I'm not sure how this works, but obviously it does for those with faith, and as it has also been suggested in this thread, that is not something that can be forced or even bestowed on someone.  It must come from within, from the soul, and be as true as anything else we believe in.  Thanks to all of you, I will continue to look for that place.

No great epiphanies here in this rambling post, but just know that I appreciate each and every one of you, and though I have never met you and probably never will, you have all made an immense difference in my life.  At the risk of sounding a bit hypocritical, I would like to say God bless you all, and I wish you only peace and success.

[GOD]

Wow. That was a powerful posting. I was formerly you; I see EXACTLY my words and arguments and critical reasoning to explain/understand "GOD"-- I, too, should have been dead on many occasions due to alcohol/drugs/stupidity in my descision making. I, like many of us, am a "Logical" thinker. I could explain ANYTHING away to myself and others. I even went so far as to get credit cards with LORD JESS ********(last name ommited here; anonymity, don't ya know...) printed on them. My mail is still addressed to me as "LORD JESS ******** "

Finally I just gave up.. "You win, GOD!" if you are there, YOU fix me. If you exist, and you are all powerful -- Prove it!"
"I am powerless... **** it."

Do you know what I just did then? Without knowing it, I took the first step.... and do you know what else? I am sober now.. what the **** happened? Yes, I wen't through withdrawls and pain... But it occurs to me that I am not CONSTANTLY thinking of a way to get MORE drugs, drink MORE vodka... What is this? Is it faith? I don't try to understand the universe or God anymore... It is a great weight off my being. It is total freedom to "let go and let God"-- as the saying goes. I just quit trying to understand what cannot be explained; and life goes on. Better. and with serenity.

Do I "pray" daily? No. Not in the "Church" way of understanding or doing it.

Look. I AM ALIVE. I close my eyes; I say "Thank you for life." and that is the greatest offering.

[Jack Frost]

Unwise,

I have decided that it was time to take a sabbatical, hate to see someone OD because someone disagreed with my opinions. But I came back for a departing glance. I found your post and, I love it.

I thought it best I take a sabbatical, which I will, but I must tell you before I make my Alabama getaway, your post was both profound and sublime.

JMHO.

I think you put things in perspective and it was about time.

There are no prereqresits HERE. One does not have to be approved as member. This is a *free* forum of ideas - no one controls that. One does not have to endorse anybody's philosophy to search, honestly. Nobdody/diety has a monopoly on salvation.

If you find somebody calling him or herself the Buddha, run, at the very least.

Write on unwise, write on.

JF

***@****

[vikequeen]

I so agree with you I have many times called out to God only to get a no answer. Some people know how to find him some dont and I have tried going to church also. so......... Baddgirl

[littleguy]

I think that most people who "have faith" assume that people who do not "have faith", have simply rejected it.  They take for granted that to "have faith" is indeed a gift.  It is not something that you can WILL upon yourself, anymore then you can WILL yourself to be free of addiction.  Just my thoughts....

littleguy