DONT KNO W IF I AM STRONG ENOUGH FOR THIS

[chubbers]

I HAVE BEEN TAKING 100MGS OG OXYCONTIN A DAY FOR ABOUT A YEAR AND I CANT TAKE IT ANYMOER I WANT TO STOP I TRIED COLT TURKEY BEFORE AND IT JUST DIDNT WORK. THE WORSE PART for me was the rls and the worse anxiety you can imagine. i also felt so depressed i couldnt take it my body had this horrible feeling of crawling out of my skin. i want to do this i just dont kjnow how. my husband gets a legit prescription for 270 oper month but he doesnt take them the right away he abuses them also. i dont know what to do im so depressed all the time bc of this stuff i just want to go back to my life before pills i have been taking pills for 2 1/2 yrs i was taking vicodin before but not that much. please any advice would be appreciated, im only 26 and i had to have an abortion bc i got pregnant and didnt know and was taking these pills and i couldnt live with the fact that i may have messed the baby up and i couldnt have it that has really messed me up. i feel so helpless and defeated and soemtimes i feel it would just be easier to just drive into on coming traffic

[hope08]

first off i want to say i am really sorry you had to make the choice whether or not to keep a child. i know that can be damaging in the long run and very hard to deal with.
does your husband really need the pain meds for pain, or is he just abusing them? i can understand wanting them to treat actual pain, just need to take as directed....maybe talk to him about it so he at least knows of your decision to want to quit? i am sure it will be tough to be around them still but want to stop taking them. its just like throwing a recovering alcoholic in a bar.
is your work understanding or hard to talk to? if you can't take any time off work, then i would def talk to a doctor. you need support right now. a doctor can at least observe you and make sure you don't start having some crazy wd's or anything...
hope you keep your head up with all this. it is hard to deal with, but if you want to quit, really try. even if you have to try over and over keep picking yourself up and keep trying.

good luck !

[m_i_strongenuf]

I can't speak for the others (regarding hospital), but I really do think you need to get some support from a doctor, you sound very down on yourself sweetie. A psych doc can at least give you something for the depression, that's going to be the first step I think. It's kind of like the question..."which came first, the chicken or the egg?" Once you can believe in yourself (which WE already do now) I think you'll find it a bit easier to quit...
I am not condoning continuation of the Oxy at all! I think you should seek a professional soon , so that you can get on with your quest to quit. Does that even sound right? Sometimes writing doesn't come out like you want to say it?
This forum has saved my life. My friends here have a lot of knowledge and they've been the best support I've ever had! Even when I recently slipped up and started taking more pills, when I came back here and was honest with them, they reminded me that I CAN do it, I just made a mistake. I just have to trust myself, and that's what you need to do too!
I hope this helps, even a little bit. I'm glad you're here and I look forward to getting to you better!

Feel A Hug!
~shel~

[TommyBee]

Do you have any vacation time or sick days?

I really think everyone should detox in the hospital. I know so many stories of people that didn't and paid the ultimate price. OC is some strong s***. At the very least you should talk to a doctor and detox under his supervision.

[chubbers]

i cannot go to inpatient my husband is not working bc of a back injury so i am the only one working so that is not an option.  y do u think i need to go to the hospital?

[TommyBee]

I agree with IBKleen. I think you should go to the hospital. They will give you them help you need and they will monitor your vitals to make sure you are ok.

Don't drive into traffic or doing anything dumb like that. There are options out there for you. You may need help, but that does not mean you are not strong enough.

[IBKleen]

Don't drive into traffic..that can hurt.

Have you considered visiting you doctor and asking about an anti-depressant to help? That may be a start.

Personally, I have to suggest inpatient treatment.

[nogie1717]

Please don't give up hope.  Most of us here know exactly what you are going through with fighting your addiction.

If you want to quit, you need to make a plan.  It will be tough, especially if your husband is still using.

Look into a Suboxone doctor who can prescribe and help you through the acute withdrawal stage.  After that comes the mental part of fighting off the urge to use.  Narcotics Anonymous is an excellent place with good people who will help you through your struggle.

Keep posting and know that you can get through this.