Somebody

[satancanthaveme]

OMG....why is this high anxiety in my *** stomach!...and dear god......why is my right legg killing me!!....this **** is unbearable!!...Icant even sit still to watch a *** movie.  I dont know how much more of this torture I can freakin with stand.  this whole process is utterly pathetic,...and there is nothing a person can do!.  Im using all the *** home remedies,,, nothing is stopping the way I am feeling.  This is horrific,..and just pushing yourself is taking more energy than I even have.   Im soooooo sick of this

[satancanthaveme]

Well, Im just here,  just suckin it up the best I can,  trying to endure this brutal neverending healing process.  Im kinda at a loss for words, being that my brain is still foggy, but im alive and breathing, thats about the only positive thing I can say at this time.   thanks for the encouragement guys...I just feel so defeated.......Im trying to just exist at this point.   I hate that I have wasted all these yrs of my life living by  pils.   I look back at it, and I honestly cant hardly believe it!  Jesus christ....what a waist.  Well let me just go now.........b4 I start to get upset, I can feel the complaints in my head starting,  Its senseless to keep typing and complaining,  I just have to suck it up.  This is the sickest thing I have ever had to experience,  just unbelieveable.....unreal......have a nice day. I hope I will have something positive to post soon.   Im still alive tho....how...idk.

[jifmoc]

I remember feeling EXACTLY as you do right now. I was so angry at myself for getting myself into this mess in the first place. Angry at the universe, everything. I remember reading everything I could find and I remember reading this: "every minute, every second, you are getting better." So, in the time you wrote your posts, you are that much closer to feeling better. All you need to do is let time pass. That's it. You don't have to DO anything. Just let time pass. And it will.

Like my pal Gnarly always says "just gotta be okay w/ NOT being okay for a while." You won't die. You want to, right now. But this acute face will be dissipate sooner rather than later. Oh, and if you do it right, this will be your last time going through this. In a way, maybe that's why it's so bad, as a reminder that it's so much better to keep your clean time than to relapse and start over. You helped me tonight. You reminded me how bad it is and how valuable staying clean is.

[gnarly_1]

Hi......well you wont get a argument  detox su cks no 2 ways about it but it is all a mindscrew.....it may seam impossible but try to keep a positive attitude it makes the difference between being uncomfortable and suffering...suffering is a choice  im with jifmoc  a hot soak helped me get threw it  I have detoxed more times then I would like to admit  for me it seamed to get worst each time  the last thing I got off of was methadone...it almost killed me I was dope sick for 90 friggin days so be happy you decided not to go with a replacement like sub or methadone  just know this it will end in a few days  I have said this a million times ''but you just got to be ok without being ok for a wile''  as for the restlessness  try wrapping you legs tightly in a blanket  like swaddling a baby  it will help... some times you just got to be ok with flopping around like a fish out of water  I know I did  keep posting for support where all here for you
..............................................Gnarly............................

[satancanthaveme]

Oh,....and let me add,......there is still nothing I can do to change any of this....unbelievable...just unbelievable.  This is some ******** , and it is totally messed up, it is crazy.....just utterly craziness.  The whole *** thing....all of this mess is just crazy.   Id rather be killed quick,,,,not this slow long drawn out torture.  Its just toooo much to handle...just way tooo much.   I didnt do anything in my life to deserve all of this.   Im just gonna shut up now...because typing is making my fingertips hurt too...everything hurts.  I thing its almost hurting to breath....lol.  anyhow..Ill just politely shut up now, because it is not going to change not one single detail, of this process.

[satancanthaveme]

yep. thanks for your kind and reminding words.....im not trying to be sarcastic, but I have had just about enough of this crap....so Im suppose to just get cozed up, and set up to just sleep in a hot bath...yea..rite.   Please excuse my attitude tonite, but I swear to god, it already takes  EVERY SINGLE ounce of strength and energy to even do absolutely  ANYTHING.  one thing that seriously gets on my nerves is....it took a dang pill to get me into this condition, why in THE hell is there not a pill to get me out of this condition. Let me be specific and clear....NO I do not want another pill at all, I just wish there was a easier way out of this crap.  What is happening to my body physically, and my mental state, is just unreal.   This is sooo hard to just keep up the energy and strength to even perform the necessary task that it takes to do the steps, and acts that you have to do to even get any releif at all......I honestly would not be surprised what soever to find out that a person,..any person would or have actually had a psychotic mental breakdown, trying to deal and make it thru this process.  yes I have researched, and i am aware of suboxone, and all the other remedies, I am absolutely terrified to even attempt to try them.  It would be just my luck that I would have a horrible experience with those drugs too.  basically trading one addiction for another, just to get some relief.  please dont take anything I am saying personal,...this is just soooo unbelievbly painful, and irritating, and it just takes so much out of you, and waaaaayyyy to long to heal.   its like you are being killed slowly,  you are dying a slow painful, confused death.   frankly, if I have to suffer like this, for this long, I promise I would rather just die quickly, this process is absolutely too much.  and every minute, is sooo endless, looks and feels like NO end to this pain and the process of feeling better.  No matter what you do.  It is totally understandable how ppl cave.  Only thing keeping me from caving is, the hopes based off of my past withdrawal, I did get and stay clean for 1 yr.   the memory of that is a large percentage of my will to fight for my life back.  at the same time, Im praying releif comes quickly.   I dont feel a whole lot of positive changes yet, which is so discouraging.  Im trying my best to stay positive and hopeful, but this process is so crippling.If I could even just lay down, and be comfortable in my own *** skin, I would appreciate that.  What the *** hell ???  how can you stay positve, when you cant even lay still ??? I just dont have anymore energy or will tonite, I have used every strength I have, I even managed to take another hot bath just a lil bit ago,  so what now ???,   I feel like Im losing it....i just dont know,  god I just dont know how the hell Im going to survive this.  NO taking opiods is not even a desire....I just want this process to end.....it is absolutely dibilitating,  Im soooo soooo out done by this, I cant even find anymore words.  its dark outside now,  I feel like just jumping out of my skin, and just run down the street into the wilderness or something.....lolol....just anywhere not to feel this crap.  I Need to make it stop !!!!!

[jifmoc]

Hi, you have to take a deep breath. Detoxing is horrible and we all go thru it. It's just a minute by minute thing. Stay in a VERY hot bath all nite if you need to. This will pass.

Also, stay on one thread so people can follow you.