Married 28 years - Vicodin

[Paulcalif]

Great to find this site. I have been trying to get my wife off of mostly Vicodin (she has taken it all), for several years. I would like to hear from those of you that have been able to stay off of Vicodin and how you were able to succeed.

I have all but given up on my wife. I'm starting group therapy for "relatives of addicts" next week. I'm hopeful that I will gain some insight there.

By the way, I doubt that any of you will be able to "control" your addict. One thing that I did to make sure my wife was off of them was to buy several single use drug tests. She quickly learned how to cheat, but if I stayed in the bathroom with her, I could make her take an honest test. When I bought the test kits they were expired so I got them really cheap, like $.25 cents each. Normally I think they are a couple of bucks each, but if you decide to go that route, shop around. The company I bought them from said they could only sell to a companies, so I just made up a company name and they had no problem selling.  

I have decided to give up trying to control her habit, and to start concentrating on my life.

She is going to half to decide whether or not to quit and whether our 28 year old marriage is worth saving.

At this point I am not optimistic.

I look forward to your advice.

Thanks
Paul

[road2recovery]

totally understand....This site can help her to know she is not alone...What you can do is try to change your name or something..

and just tell her you found this site---you can email medhelp to help you do that ok?

good luck to you both
r2r

[road2recovery]

totally understand....This site can help her to know she is not alone...What you can do is try to change your name or something..

and just tell her you found this site---you can email medhelp to help you do that ok?

good luck to you both
r2r

[Paulcalif]

ok - please no more replies. I really like this site and I want to show it to my wife, but I would prefer if she didn't see my posts even though she should know I am only trying to help her. I will show her tomorrow..
Thanks everyone...

[road2recovery]

if you don't mind me asking,, why did she go into detox??
and why did she leave?

[Paulcalif]

Yes - Well actually, she left early on her own :-(

[road2recovery]

maybe i misunderstood but are you saying your wife just got out of detox?

[Paulcalif]

I bought them a couple of years back from an online company that sold all kinds of test kits. It wasn't Craigs list, although that's not a bad idea.

[1eagle]

I don't know which sleeping pills were prescribed - but you gotta be careful to use a drug to deal with a drug problem as far as I can tell - and I have been there.

[Paulcalif]

I really appreciate all of the advice and so QUICK! I belong to a lot of different internet groups, but I've never gotten replies that quickly.

Unfortunately, I know she doesn't "want" to quit. She'll make remarks like, "no, I'm not on it, but I wish I was"

I think the tough love approach is about the only thing I have left to try.

We have a friend of the family in her late 20's who has been clean for about 2 years. She has found success in Narcotics Anonymous meetings. I was hoping my wife would begin attending meetings, but she ended up in De-tox instead.

My wife just got home this evening and the doctor there prescribed sleeping pills. That doesn't sound like a good idea to me....

[checkmeout]

quitting will be her decision to make.  sure you can try pushing her and it sounds like you have.  perhaps your ultimatum will work.  seems like it should.  28 years is a long time.  I hope for her own sake she makes the right decision.  bring her to the computer and show her this site.  she may be surprised to learn that detox only takes 4 to 7 days.  it's really not as bad as a serious addict might think.  the hard part for most long-time users is keeping away from them.  the secret to staying off is desire.  she has to have a good reason and really want to stay away.  relapse is always a part of any addiction.  don't let that get you down.  encourage her to keep quitting.  don't give up on her unless you really feel it's useless. this is a great place to find support as well.  best of luck.
one quick question - did you find those drug tests on craigslist by chance?  i saw some on there a few days ago and they were pretty cheap.  i'm wondering if they were so cheap because they were expired.

[road2recovery]

first off welcome...Wow what a post..Ok i am an addict, clean 4 months today...
as far as the test thing goes, she has to want it....and i think you see that now...not saying it was a bad idea...Because honestly if my husband chose the route i would take it.....BECAUSE i want to be clean...does that make sense???  and i don't want to lose him.
you may have to do some tough love here..
there will be many to help you here, there are addicts here and some that are in love with addicts
sorry you are hurting....We do not realize what we do to the ones that love us, but it is the drug , it is the devil.....
good luck
and you are right, u need to concentrate on you!!!
r2r

[GoingToMakeIt]

Welcome to the forum.
The cold hard truth is that unless your wife chooses to quit, she won't.
There are lots of ways to quit and to stay clean. None of them work without the person 110% behind the program & plan.
Have her read this forum. Many times it is hard to quit because you feel no one understands or has been through it. As you see people having success it gives you hope.

[1eagle]

You are right in that she must want to do this herself - that being said, I should think that you can influence her. I am sure glad that my wife thought that our 25 years was worth working a little for....and she surely did.....currently I am looking at 3 months of abstinence - and life is looking better every day...but it isn't a quick trip. And it lasts a long time - so be there for the long haul if you decide to be....