Omg this is me and I love you all:)

[Darlaboxset]

Hey everyone! :) I am new to this community but am a Musician from Athens, Georgia and am around alot of the " bad influences that get some of us through our days" he he:). The funny part of all of this is that nobody I know abuses pain killers! I started after I was struck by a van going 55 miles an hour while I was crossing the street. " Yeah the chicken crosses the road jokes don't work so well for me anymore. He he.". I had 17 operations and was hospitalized alot due to infections so that brings me to somewhere around 25 hospitalizations in a two year period all while playing shows. I guess I won the grand prize from hell but I made it:) I would play from a wheel chair and be dragged up onto the stage because I love my band and music that much.:) Music is the reason myself and my brain got the exercise we needed while living with head trauma. Anyway, I loved the way I felt after taking the lortab I was prescribed. Months after I realized what had happened to me of course. I loved the fact that no pain was there and I was sooo happy that I would help somebody who just punched me in the face raise their family. lol! My sister who was a nurse in athens moved into my grundge one bedroom apartment to take care of me so I didn't have a stranger nurse to watch "Saved by the bell" with me in the mornings.:) Anyway, once the lortab stopped working my tolerace got sooo strong that years later I was taking 20 to 30 Oxycontin 40's a day. I didn't even think of the danger because it still wasn't enough for me. My accident happened at the age of 24 and now I am 27. SO finally I went to a methadone clinic one day with a 104 degree fever and shaking and told them I needed help.I had never even thought of going to a Methadone clinic because I thought those were only for Heroin addicts. Well at that moment I realized that I have the same disease as millions of others including my hero Layne Stayley and Kurt and we are all no different! The person under the bridge shaking and the person in the Hotel suite shaking are no different! We all have the same disease and it is 100% fatal unless we love, hug and support each other. Just like we are doing in these forums. I come from a country club, golf lessons family and now am doing great because of my " Real Family" who are all of you and all of the homeless people who have this addiction disease. We all stand together and let our families and friends and public know that this is not a behavioral issue. This is a disease and we will stand together and beat it. Hugz and Luvz:)  Well they started me on 30mg and I felt amazing! I went all the way up to 80mg and then had to leave for Japan to tour for a month. They lowered me to 30mg slowly and switched me to Suboxone for the tour because it is illegal to have methadone in Japan. I had no choice but to switch. As I was on the plane I started sweating and feeling withdrawl symptoms after 20 something hours since my last methadone dose so I took the Suboxone like my doctor said when that feeling of withdrawl came on. I felt fine after that and took the suboxone twice a day for 1 months and was sober the whole Japan tour! After I got back from tour I got back on methadone which was a biiiig mistake! just like how they made another rush Hour movie. Well since I got back on the methadone I started drinking again months later after a break up and then sobered up but am having such bad cravings that I took Oxycontin while on methadone because my cravings have been soooo bad.:( Isn't our methadone supposed to stop all cravings and if it is not should I go back to suboxone or what should I do?! I don't want to die from some over dose. HElp me please. Sorry for the long pst but maybee somebody out there knows what my lifestyle is like and we all know what our drug lifestyles are like. I luvz yah all and many hugz:) I wrote this in a panic and it is very disorganized and I don't think a Martha Stewart could Organize what I just wrote but I love you all:) :)

Darlaboxset  

p.s  I love you all sooooo much and can't wait till we all use the magic L word and Happiness to conquer this:)

[flmagi]

Welcome to the forum. It's does sound like the Sub was working for you. Why not give it another try. You may need it for a more extended time period and definately try to get some counseling. The Sub. will stop the cravings. But you can't drink or do any other chit with it or you'll get sick. Good luck and keep posting.

[Avalancheblanche]

I should be blonde.....No offense!  lol

[toxictome]

Are you referring to Butch Walker?
I assume he is a musician...
but I'm blonde so .....LOL

[Avalancheblanche]

I think I missed something?  What does that mean?  

[Coolio Hernendez]

The great Butch Walker is from Georgia.

[allaboutmary]

Hey, welcome to the forum !  Well you can't go on like this, that for sure.  Sounds like Suboxone might be a good choice, but a even better choice might be rehab. Also N/a or counseling for support and get to the bottom of this.  We will be here for you. Get started somehow, someway  on getting clean.  Keep posting and reading here , it helps.

[avisg]

Welcome ,
It sounds as if you have been threw quite a bit ..... Have you thought about going back on the sub that seemed to be what you did the best on ,plus it can be used in pain management as well. I am glad you have found the forum .There is lots of support here ...
Avis

[IBKleen]

I am so, so sorry. This sis just me. I tried to read your post..twice actually. I do not have the retention, apparently to stick with the story. Please do not take it personally.

After reading it..I do not know what your question is, or where you are. I was not even going to post because I will get attacked by others, but I do want to help if I can. Can you tell me, ortothers, where you are at ...and what you need? Someone is always here to help....