I was on opiates for approximately 10 years due to severe Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fibromyalgia. I have had several surgeries.....fused wrist on right hand, fused middle finger on right hand, fused thumb on right hand...(and oh yah, I'm right handed). Then just last year, June 6, 2014 I had complete wrist replacement/reconstruction. I am the first person to get this new titanium alloy wrist!!! Pretty crazy. I feel like a bionic woman.
So opiates were always in my life for 10 plus years. I have recently stopped cold turkey and it was HELL. I believe I did 3 days and then needed something to help. So then I took the suboxone for 3 days and I was done.
It's been about a month now and I still feel a little weird. Things that are hard to explain.......feeling cloudy at times, shaky, chills when it's warm and everyone else is hot, RLS at night. But it is worth it. I am in control now not the opiates!!!
I'm not looking at the calendar to count the days for my next refill, I'm not counting pills, and it has even stopped my smoking habit. I have no desire for pills or cigarettes.
I am a 46 year old mother of twin boys and have 3 step children full time. So, yes. 5 Kids!! Yikes!! Had to do it for them and my best friend/love of my life. But first and foremost for ME. I have to be at my best so that I can be the best for my family.
You can do it. With God all things are possible! Have faith,believe in yourself and Trust in Jesus.
God Bless You
Thank you both so much! I'm getting them from a dr and paying $300 for a month supply. That's another thing, it's a huge financial drain and all the money I could be saving but on the other hand, It's a heck of allot less than my oxy habit which I mostly bought off the streets. Congratulations to both of you, it's very inspiring to know this addiction can be beat! I started subs about 8 months ago... First time and I never bought these off the streets. I only wanted Roxie off the streets. The good thing is I changed my number when I started this program, I have no ties to anyone anymore and my husband has control over all the money. It would be impossible to start up my habit again unless I resorted to stealing which I never did.
I guess I can be "normal" again and I know it takes a long time. I've been masking depression and anxiety which is why I loved the pills so much. I have to get a handle on that too or I'll keep self medicated.
You guys have inspired me to start the process of reducing my dose. I keep reading that at 4mg you feel a million times better and I'm hoping that's true for me too.
Thank you both!
Hi stillfromny
I had the same fear after a 12yr morphine addiction where I had gone off and on the Suboxone many times but only for a few weeks, then went on just the subs for 10 mnths...and came off them back in Nov 2014...
I relapsed on the subs for 5 weeks and I am just on day 5 ...and am soooo relieved that is over.. but what I wanted to tell you is that I had the same fears as you and Motye.. I thought my brain was ruined, that if I came off I would never be the same, that somehow I would be empty, void of personality etc.. but the good news is I was not... I was still me, and you will be too...but a lot wiser...
Yours is not a hopeless situation, and with a good plan and good support you can be free. Since you have just been on the Suboxone "I'm not sure how long as you say your opiate addiction has been 11yrs"... there is another site which is just for sub support.. naabt.org There is a wealth of information there..so many who have tapered gotten off years of suboxone use..and doing well... I hope that is okay to mention that site here... You sound like me in so many ways, with all those crazy side effects.. At times I was on as much as 12 - 16mg, and I would hallucinate ...especially driving the country roads in winters.. I did much better on 8 mg and then down to 4mg.. There is a person on that other site who is on day 12 of jumping off at either 2 or 4 after a 7 year habit and he is doing remarkably well.. He is exercising 2hrs a day.walking.. and I think that is a big factor in his doing so great.. That you exercise regularly will definitly help you in your recovery..
I successfully detoxed off of a 24mg a day sub habit that i had for almost 7 yrs. At the end of the month i will be picking up my 18 month keytag from n/a. It wasnt easy....it was hard, but worth every bit of pain i endured.
i was going to say perhaps 16mg was too high but when u lowered to 8 and it didnt work??? Are u using 2mg strips or 8mg? Im actually wondering if youve gotten a placebo? Do u get them from pharmacy or dealer? If dealer, i think you've been screwed, but thats my opinion.
The only way, i found, that worked was i had to make a plan. I didnt taper, didnt want to taper, im an addict, as soon as i would feel bad i could ALWAYS convince myself to start taper some other time....i had **** to do....couldnt be without energy and sick.....********......you have to....
i promise you, you didnt burn your brain, lol, i say that b/c the first thing i said in a mtg was that i was scared i had permanently ruined my brain.....i didnt!!!! But with subs, it takes quite awhile to feel normal again.....but u can get there. As soon as most of the severe physical w/d stopped, i got my *** into aftercare, i chose n/a and ive never looked back. Hasn't been a cakewalk, but i can say i havent taken a drug ir drink in almost 18 months.....ive never been able to say that before! Welcome to the forum, again, and keep posting......ask questions.....