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Vicodin detox
I am addicted to Vicodin. I am currently taking between 100 and 150 mg. per day. I started taking it about two years ago after it was prescribed by a dentist and was pretty much using it recreationally on the weekends. I noticed that all day on Monday after a weekend of taking it I was horribly depressed. Needless to say my use escalated and I found more ways to get more pills.
I have tried to stop a couple of times before. I went through all of the physical symptoms which were horrible. The longest that I managed to stay off of Vicodin was about 3 weeks. Even though much of the physical **** was gone, I was still very, very depressed - even after a few weeks. That was the main thing that made me start using again. I just didn't feel like I could continue on with a normal life without the pills.
I really want to get off of these things, but I am terrified of not only the physical withdrawal symptoms, but the severe depression I know will be there. I went to the chemical dependency clinic at my health care provider yesterday. They have a 2 week day program, or 8 week evening program and use Clonodine (sp?) to help with the withdrawals. I can't take two weeks away, but am terified of the depression which pretty much makes me unable to function, at times suicidal. Is there something that I can take in addition to the Clonodine which with help with the suicidal depression?
I have tried to stop a couple of times before. I went through all of the physical symptoms which were horrible. The longest that I managed to stay off of Vicodin was about 3 weeks. Even though much of the physical **** was gone, I was still very, very depressed - even after a few weeks. That was the main thing that made me start using again. I just didn't feel like I could continue on with a normal life without the pills.
I really want to get off of these things, but I am terrified of not only the physical withdrawal symptoms, but the severe depression I know will be there. I went to the chemical dependency clinic at my health care provider yesterday. They have a 2 week day program, or 8 week evening program and use Clonodine (sp?) to help with the withdrawals. I can't take two weeks away, but am terified of the depression which pretty much makes me unable to function, at times suicidal. Is there something that I can take in addition to the Clonodine which with help with the suicidal depression?
This is a very old thread...Go to top of page, in green where it say post a question, start a new thread..WE are all here to help you
r2r
r2r
IM 54 YEARS OLD ADDICITED TO VICS AND ULTRAMS TAKE 120 MG ADAY KILLING MYSELF NO INS WHAT CAN I DO TRYED THE COLD TURKEY ROUTE DIDNT WORK NOW TRYING TO TAPPERING ROUTE RUNNING OUT OF MEDS AND STORIES FOR DOCTERS REALLY NEED HELP FOUND THIS SITE TODAY CAN ANYONE TELL ME DOES THE VITAMINS HELP WITH THE HEAVY W/DS IF SO WOULD LOVE TO START IT SICK OF THE LIES AND STORIES WE ALL MAKE UP MORE THAN READY TO STOP ALREADY PLEASE ADVISE IF ANYONE CAN TELL ME BEEN ON THIS PATH OVER 10 LOOONG!!!! yearYEARS
no these barbs are 500 mg. tylenol, 40 mg. of butalbital and caffeine. They are white caplets that dissolve really quick. They are a fast acting barb. It's hard for me to even find anything on the internet about them. Most people who abuse barbs use ones called seconal and I don't know anything about those. The ones I use are just supposed to be good for migraine or mainly tension headaches. I want to thank you for corresponding with me. It seems that not many people talk to me since I don't have an opiate addiction but I feel that addiction is addiction no matter what the drug. Wonder if I post a message that says "Hey I've tried opiates before" that people will talk to me then. ha ha. Good luck in your quest to be clean. It's a never ending battle. We can talk anytime. I understand your demands of everyday life. I guess if we could just spend a month in the bed without worrying about work or family then it would be easier to get clean but unfortunately life refuses to stop for us. Take care.
I to always need to be on, I mean at work, home, school, mothering, being a spouse... I get so sick of it but its like I've made this life for all these people and they count on me and in reality I usually hate everything I am doing well resent it anyway and do it anyway and just try and stay numb. Step kids are a huge responsibility I know I was one. I really understand why you feel the need to be upbeat when they are around. I don't know what barbs are? Are they reds and don't they make you sleepy? Does you family know of your battle? Mine is a secret forever a secret. Peace lady friend
I to always need to be on, I mean at work, home, school, mothering, being a spouse... I get so sick of it but its like I've made this life for all these people and they count on me and in reality I usually hate everything I am doing well resent it anyway and do it anyway and just try and stay numb. Step kids are a huge responsibility I know I was one. I really understand why you feel the need to be upbeat when they are around. I don't know what barbs are? Are they reds and don't they make you sleepy? Does you family know of your battle? Mine is a secret forever a secret. Peace lady friend
12 days were you done being sick? My bones hurt today and my body is a twitching out of control, its like my skin is crawling its freaky. I am so tempted to run out and fix it but I stayed home today and although my office is only in the back yard and my boss is my husband and he doesn't know a thing about my life even though we have lived together for 23 years, I feel like I have a little space to myself. What about tomorrow and the next day life sucks like this and when I start getting clean and feeling all these feelings and the rage and the anger man I just want to cover it up. How about you what did you do with all your feelings over that 12 day period? Did you yell scream hit something or just try and maintain the nothing bothers me attitude. Write soon I'll be living on line today.
Hey dirt. Well I was 12 days clean and started using again so I now have 15 pills left and then I will be starting over again. Yes it's definitely insanity. I could stop now and flush the pills but I had a terrible tension headache yesterday and woke up with it again today so I'm afraid I will need the pills. Yeah story of my life. Needing that high. You sound like you are doing well and on the right track. Please hang in there. I posted the link to a great website this morning for us addicts. Check it out when you have time. Peace.
Thanks for the kind words. Its Tuesday I guess you know that and I am on day six of a self precribed taper I am getting very sick in between and yesterday I was really losing it and thinking doctor visit. Made it through that and today I have one and I want to be done by tomorrow but I'm not sure if I will really make it. It's so cool to talk about this to anybody I found myself in my sleepless sweats last night wondering about chezz and if you scored or where you were at with starting over and if your wife is behind you and pon how wonderful that you still share with so many days clean and you the little guy aspen so young and already so strung out I think you are in a great space to already know your in trouble with pills, for the longest time I thought they were okay because the doctor gave them to me. You are way ahead of the game and virginia girl what part of the insanity are you living today? Peace I love this web site.
Dirtbag-
Please don't apologize! I have not used today, and it has been the worst HELL, but I know it will go away! You have taken the first step by writing in here! You are on the right track. Thank you for praying for me, and I will pray for you that you can get through this! You are worth having a happy life. Everyone cares about you in here because we are all going through the same thing! Take care!
Pon,
I am so scared that I am going to fall back into the pills! This hurts, but I know I can do this. Honestly, 7, 8, 10...or more days of hell will be well worth it in the end. What about you? Are you doing o.k.? How long have you been sober, or are you trying right now? You really have helped me a lot! You seem like a wonderful person, and I am lucky to have found this support group. Thanks for all your encouragment!
Please don't apologize! I have not used today, and it has been the worst HELL, but I know it will go away! You have taken the first step by writing in here! You are on the right track. Thank you for praying for me, and I will pray for you that you can get through this! You are worth having a happy life. Everyone cares about you in here because we are all going through the same thing! Take care!
Pon,
I am so scared that I am going to fall back into the pills! This hurts, but I know I can do this. Honestly, 7, 8, 10...or more days of hell will be well worth it in the end. What about you? Are you doing o.k.? How long have you been sober, or are you trying right now? You really have helped me a lot! You seem like a wonderful person, and I am lucky to have found this support group. Thanks for all your encouragment!
well i have a barb addiction instead of opiates so the withdrawals weren't really bad i don't think. i say i don't think because when i stopped them cold turkey i was also getting a sinus infection so it was hard to tell what was the sinus problem and what were the withdrawals. I am one that cannot wean myself. Tried it and can't do it as long as I have the pills in the house. I even gave them to my husband to hold and then searched the entire house for them. He didn't hide them well at all. Dummy. ha ha. But anyway the major withdrawal from the fiurocet that I take is rebound headaches which I had and I was very irritable and anxious and after 12 days I saw no improvement with life or my surroundings or the way I was feeling. It's sad to say but I was happier, more energetic, more sociable, more upbeat when I was using. I ended up getting my prescription filled because my step-children were coming for the weekend and I wanted to be in a good mood for them. I know that sounds completely horrible and stupid but I love my step-children and want to be able to do things with them and have fun and when I'm not on the medicine I feel like I'm a lifeless horrible *****. So I guess that's just addiction talking there. I have read though on this message board on how people stop the opiates and then after day four they see life in a brand new way. They say that things seem clearer and great. I wish it was like that for me when I stop the barbs. I've had opiates before for surgeries and I luckily never liked them at all. Nothing but barbs.
well you are right. More often than not, tapering is not possible. There are rare instances like some you'll read here but it's definitley not for me. I have to run out of the meds completely if I have any intention of getting clean. It's like a devil in a bottle instead of a message in a bottle. Ha Ha. I don't think you're offending anyone but for sure you havne't offended me. :-)
i KEEP OFFENDING EVERYONE AND I AM SORRY IT JUST SEEMS THAT A PERSON WOULD KEEP USING IF THEY COULD EASILY GET THEM I'M SORRY ASPEN IT WASN'T A PUT DOWN. I'LL PRAY FOR YOU THAT WITHDRAWAL IS NOT SO VIOLENT LIKE MINE SEEMS TO BE. SLEEP WELL EVERY ONE
Good for you! You have done it...taken that big first step...lots more in front of you, hard ones, painful ones...but ones that will bring you through to a life of your own...not a life enslaved to a pill,
Do you have info on what to expect from the physical side of w/d? If not here is some basic:
Usually starts within 24 hours of your last meds...will be bad the first day, worse the second and the worst 3 & 4 and then generally get better aftre day 4...tapering off to end in 7-10 days. The emotional/mental side is different and varies for everyone.
These are not hard and fast...but generally they seem to be what most folks face...if you read through the threads you will find more detail...if you don't have the cahnce, post back and I will try to post you back tomorrow with more detail...or anyone else here can too...
hang in there....you can do it...you are worth doing it. Good luck
pon
Do you have info on what to expect from the physical side of w/d? If not here is some basic:
Usually starts within 24 hours of your last meds...will be bad the first day, worse the second and the worst 3 & 4 and then generally get better aftre day 4...tapering off to end in 7-10 days. The emotional/mental side is different and varies for everyone.
These are not hard and fast...but generally they seem to be what most folks face...if you read through the threads you will find more detail...if you don't have the cahnce, post back and I will try to post you back tomorrow with more detail...or anyone else here can too...
hang in there....you can do it...you are worth doing it. Good luck
pon
Thanks for the input! If you need help, let me know. I am going through the same thing you are. We all are! When it is a dark secret it is hard to get through alone. But you are not alone here. Try not to get discouraged!
I had a really hard day today, but I made it through! My doctor is no longer going to give me pain medicine because I told her about my addiction, even though she already knew, but I feel it might have been a mistake, because she is not helping me taper off of this medicine, she is just stoping the refills, which is good of course, but bad for the withdrawls! I KNOW I CAN DO THIS, WE ALL HAVE THE POWER IN US WE JUST NEED TO WANT IT BAD ENOUGH!! Sometimes I think the pain is not worth it! But in the end I know it will be. If you only knew how much your comments have helped me. It feels so great to tell someone about this who knows what I am going through because you are going through the same thing! I am no longer alone because of this site. Just coming to this site is a big step for anyone struggling! Chezz, Pon, thank you for your encouragment!!! If I can be of any help, please let me know! I am going to try the recipe~!
Chezz is right...you have taken the hardest step already and you have a whole group of people here who are like you and understand...
Keep posting, come here for support and help...people will
you CAN do this if you want to...it will be hard, but you can do it and you are worth it.
good luck, keep posting people will be here for you.
pon
Keep posting, come here for support and help...people will
you CAN do this if you want to...it will be hard, but you can do it and you are worth it.
good luck, keep posting people will be here for you.
pon
Aspen,
First off, don't listen to Dirtbag. There are no free rides. And another statement that is used alot for us addicts is:
One pill is too much and a thousand(ten) is never enough.
You can do this.
You just have to get the strength from within.
You have already started this process to recovery. One of the hardest parts is admitting it. Second is reaching out for help. And personally I find this forum to be the best outlet for help and inspiration.
So where are you at as far as meds go? Do you have more refills?
Another hard thing to answer is can you taper. I personally think if you can get your usage down to about 6-8 aday, you can then go cold turkey with minimal discomfort if you can get help from your doc. With meds that will help ease the "pain" from the w/d's. You also should use the "recipe". Mainly the L-Tyrosine. The "recipe" is all over this forum. Just search the archives. I would suggest reading alot of the archives. Just spend some time reading the threads on this site and it will answer 90% of your questions.
We are here to help, and have all been in someone elses shoes at one time or another.
You can get clean. It just takes the WILL to do so.
Regards,
Chezz
First off, don't listen to Dirtbag. There are no free rides. And another statement that is used alot for us addicts is:
One pill is too much and a thousand(ten) is never enough.
You can do this.
You just have to get the strength from within.
You have already started this process to recovery. One of the hardest parts is admitting it. Second is reaching out for help. And personally I find this forum to be the best outlet for help and inspiration.
So where are you at as far as meds go? Do you have more refills?
Another hard thing to answer is can you taper. I personally think if you can get your usage down to about 6-8 aday, you can then go cold turkey with minimal discomfort if you can get help from your doc. With meds that will help ease the "pain" from the w/d's. You also should use the "recipe". Mainly the L-Tyrosine. The "recipe" is all over this forum. Just search the archives. I would suggest reading alot of the archives. Just spend some time reading the threads on this site and it will answer 90% of your questions.
We are here to help, and have all been in someone elses shoes at one time or another.
You can get clean. It just takes the WILL to do so.
Regards,
Chezz
HEY IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU AND ME ARE IN ABOUT THE SAME BOAT I AM TRYING TO TAPER AND I KEEP GETTING REALLY SICK AND MINE IS A HUGE SECRET TOO AND IF I GET TO SICK I WILL BE BUSTED. JUST TRY AND GO SLOW THERE IS SO MUCH I DON'T KNOW ABOUT ALL THIS. THAT DOCTOR IS GIVING YOU A LOT OF PILLS, HOW ARE YOU GOING TO STOP WITH A FREE RIDE LIKE THAT. WILL IT EVER RUN OUT?
First off I want to say thank you for writing me back! It just feels good to tell someone about this. I started using Percocet and vicodin, when I had kidney stones. Once the pain was over I realized how addicted I had become! My doctor gave me 60 vicodins, and 4 refills. Also she gave me percocet when I told her the vicodin wasn't working for me anymore. She knew about my passed drug problem, but continued to refill my prescription. So I am now taking about 10 to 12 vicodin a day, sometimes more! I want to go cold turkey, but I am so afraid of the pain I will be in! I honestly want to QUIT this HELL! I am 24 years old, and this is a huge secret! I want to stop today, but without feeling like I am going to die. Thank you for reading. I admire everyone in here for there strength! I know I can all overcome this, I just need some advice I guess! What is the recipe?
Have to call it a night here on the east coast...will check in in the morning...send me a post and I'll send you one to wake up to...have a good night chezz, you deserve it AND you've earned it...hang in there....we need you
pon
pon
Chezz, didn't get the e-mail yet so I thought i'd go here...no secrets in this group
glad to hear from you...I think you are sounding better too. Chezz, I have to tell you that I was really scared for you when I read your earlier posts. I know how you feel about falling back...I was there many times myself back in 87 when i quit drinking....I may be there again tomorrow...any of us could be.
The thing is Chezz, it really doesn't matter that you fell...and I think you know that inside yourself. If you read through the posts you write to help others you will find the key to why it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that you fell because you WANT to stop. Our bodies and minds are enslaved and altered by these drugs to the point that they frequently control our very actions. Think of it....think of reaching for that bottle...is it you reaching or is it the drug grabbing you. I may be wrong chezz, but I believe it is the drug grabbing you. When I opened the bottle of vikes lastr night, it wasn't me wanting to, it was my addiction taking advantage of my hurting at that moment. I accept responsibility for my addiction, it is my fault, no one made me get here....I did it, but all that said, there comes a point when the addiction takes control. Our fight is to regain control of ourselves, our lives, our spirits and our freedom. That is not an easy fight to win with a deamon like addiction.
YOU want to stop...you will. You are facing an incredibly difficult situation between the physical pain you must endure with your back and the physical and mental anguish (especially at days 3 & 4) of withdrawl. Chezz, I am proud of you for how far you have gotten already. That you fell doesn't lessen that pride I feel for you...in fact, your determination to make it through your fall and fight again makes me more proud of you.
Chezz, you will make it...I really believe you will. reading your posts gives me an image of a person who will give everything they have to beat this. Don't let this dishearten you. Accept it for what it is...the reality that you may need to get further along in resolving your back pain before you can do this. THAT IS OK. You can only expect so much of yourself, your mind and body. You have to get there through the right path for YOU, not necessarily the same path as for someone else here.
Fact is Chezz, you have mostly won the battle. You determination to be free of the drugs will get you there when your body will allow it...when you back is more resolved. HOLD ONTO THAT DETERMINATION...it will get you there when it is your time.
I'm going to post this now...I will write you some more later after I get my girls to bed...I still haven't gotten the e-mail yet, but please do write to me or to jeff.
By the way I am in PA. I have a wife and 2 daughters with a third on the way...back soon
pon
glad to hear from you...I think you are sounding better too. Chezz, I have to tell you that I was really scared for you when I read your earlier posts. I know how you feel about falling back...I was there many times myself back in 87 when i quit drinking....I may be there again tomorrow...any of us could be.
The thing is Chezz, it really doesn't matter that you fell...and I think you know that inside yourself. If you read through the posts you write to help others you will find the key to why it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that you fell because you WANT to stop. Our bodies and minds are enslaved and altered by these drugs to the point that they frequently control our very actions. Think of it....think of reaching for that bottle...is it you reaching or is it the drug grabbing you. I may be wrong chezz, but I believe it is the drug grabbing you. When I opened the bottle of vikes lastr night, it wasn't me wanting to, it was my addiction taking advantage of my hurting at that moment. I accept responsibility for my addiction, it is my fault, no one made me get here....I did it, but all that said, there comes a point when the addiction takes control. Our fight is to regain control of ourselves, our lives, our spirits and our freedom. That is not an easy fight to win with a deamon like addiction.
YOU want to stop...you will. You are facing an incredibly difficult situation between the physical pain you must endure with your back and the physical and mental anguish (especially at days 3 & 4) of withdrawl. Chezz, I am proud of you for how far you have gotten already. That you fell doesn't lessen that pride I feel for you...in fact, your determination to make it through your fall and fight again makes me more proud of you.
Chezz, you will make it...I really believe you will. reading your posts gives me an image of a person who will give everything they have to beat this. Don't let this dishearten you. Accept it for what it is...the reality that you may need to get further along in resolving your back pain before you can do this. THAT IS OK. You can only expect so much of yourself, your mind and body. You have to get there through the right path for YOU, not necessarily the same path as for someone else here.
Fact is Chezz, you have mostly won the battle. You determination to be free of the drugs will get you there when your body will allow it...when you back is more resolved. HOLD ONTO THAT DETERMINATION...it will get you there when it is your time.
I'm going to post this now...I will write you some more later after I get my girls to bed...I still haven't gotten the e-mail yet, but please do write to me or to jeff.
By the way I am in PA. I have a wife and 2 daughters with a third on the way...back soon
pon
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