Can I lose my son?

[lookingforhealth]

If I decide to leave my husband and he knows that I unlawfuly bought the pills I was taking can he take my son?  I want to leave him but am afriad of losing my baby!!!!????  Does anybody have any idea?????

[pattifan]

Tramadol is only detectable in your urine for max 7 days. For saliva tests it's only 4 days so you've no worries there.

If you're anxiety med is a benzo it will show up, but as long as it's prescribed that's not an issue.

Take care

[lookingforhealth]

I made an appointment for Sept 3rd.  First one I could get with a therapist.  I will tell her everything and have it documented.  I will also ask her about drug tests.  Although I am taking something for anxiety which I am not abusing and hoping to be done with once I start sleeping better.

Nothing is easy with no sleep especially a 6 month old just learning to crawl.  With a tooth to boot!!!

[lookingforhealth]

I am hopeing that is the case Laurel453...  I have been clean for 9 days and do not plan on going back.  I have FLUSHED the stash.  I had 4 in case the W/D got to unbearable with taking care of the baby.  They weren't!!  And when my husband and I started fighting last night I wanted to take one so bad I just flushed them.  

He is a lawyer so knows the laws much better then I.   He isn't really a bad person but when angry he says the worst things.  He isn't abusing me or anything but I just don't know if it's working out.  

I said I was going to go to my sisters for a few days due to the fighting and he threated me.  Not directly but he siad I will never get my son he will make sure of that.  It scared the crap out of me.  The ONLY thing he has against me is the TRam.  I am a good mother who puts my child first and loves him more then life.  He is perfectly happy and healthy!!

I guess Pattifan is right I should document it somewhere I have detoxed and am clean.  As of now only the people that know are on this site know.  And one friend who has similar problems.  I will do that today.

[laurel453]

just my 2 cents here,

as the people above have told you, being clean is the first step. well, you are :). Your husband should prove that you are an unfit mother, from what i know of you, you love and care for your son and he is the world to you and you seem to be to me a very sensible and smart person so..don't think at all that you are an unfit mother. If the only thing against you is that of being abusing tramadol.... does tram show in urine tests ? this is what i don't know but anyway, if they don't show the better, would it be possible to take urine tests each month and take them to the court to unable those alegations from your husband ?

[pattifan]

Hi,

You probably know that I'm a thick Brit who knows nothing of US laws.

But I just checked your profile and it says you've been clean for eight days. Keep that up and your case is so much stronger.  Your profile also says you have stash so flush it now, along with your emergency stash, your secret stash and your secret secret stash. (You know, the one's hidden inside an old film container in your cars' glove box!

If you aren't into AA/NA you could just go and see your family doctor and explain about your withdrawal. Then the fact of being clean would be on record, as would the fact that you've sought help.

Common sense would say that to risk losing a child, you would have to be proven to be an unfit mother. From the other postings of yours that I've seen that is very far from the case.

You've shown yourself to be a very concerned mother, responsible,caring and compassionate and willing to go through hell for the sake of your baby.

I don't think you've got too much to worry about, except for keeping yourself straight and well meantime.

Take care

[avisg]

Are you still on the meds or are you clean . If you are not I would get clean and start in an aa/na program .Then as jeremy said that will put you on a far more solid ground .
You sould not have to stay in a realtionship out of fear  however do get your ducks in a row .

[hellc@mst]

Hi there. I m sorry you have found yourself in this situation. The best thing you could possibly do for yourself and your baby is to independantly detox yourself off the drugs. If you could manage this you stand a far greater chance of retaining your child and you would nullify any and all ammunition he may have concerning your drug use. This would effectively take the moral high ground away from him.

  Be careful of a full on mud slinging match with the man. Regardless of your feelings for him,he is still the childs father and he may only be guilty of being a poor husband( i dont know you didn t say) . Also if it comes down muckraking, a judge may find you both unfit to parent your chid. Worse case scenario is for the child to become a ward of the state

  I am not in the US but i have seen that most family courts(anywhere) treat unprescribed narcotic abuse harshly. So to answer your question. Yes there is every possibilty that your husband may have the ammunition needed to be given preferential custody. Fortunately for you this is a problem you can control. Again, Sort out the drug problem first and then you will be fighting on a level playing field.

All the best. Regards Jeremy