Withdrawals from opiates is horrible. I detoxed on my own at home and endured about 4 days of pure Hell and 10 days of not feeling free of the drug, Vicoden. Although, not life-threatening, the suffering is really bad and will make someone think twice about using again. I have never used heroin, so I cannot compare the two. Please be careful with pain pills. They mimic the endorphins in your brain, thus your body stops producing them on it's own....if abused, that is. If you decide to detox at home, don't be alone if possible. It is humiliating, but you will be stronger for it. Good Luck to you, Neena
Unfortunately, I do not think your paranoid. I have experience from a loved one being an addict. In the beginning, the drugs give that euphoric "high". After his addiction requires more and more to achieve that high, I think you'll notice a change. Watch for any mood swings and signs of depressive behavior. Obviously, if confronted, I'm sure he will become defensive. Perhaps he has had a relapse and the situation with your father has enabled him to readily access the meds. I agree with the suggestion that if he is truly clean, he will willingly submit to a drug test. Why would he refuse a test if he is doing nothing wrong? Good luck and my prayers are with you and your father as well.
It is quite dangerous to take narcotics and drink, due to possible central nervous system depression. The combination can be fatal (the brain esentially decides to slow down so much that you stop breathing). He must be told of this danger, if he doesn't already know. He sounds like an addict, and should be encouraged to seek help from NA or an addiction specialist. You guys need to intervene and help him. Remember, however, addicts can only be helped IF they want it. If not, he will simply continue and there isn't much you can then do. Good luck.
I can only share what I went through when I broke my neck in a car accident in 1982. First he's addicted to pain (opiate) medication and probably alcohol. This combination could kill him I strongly suggest you find a pain clinic or Doctor that will take notice and help. He needs to be worked off the pain medication as he does not probably need it now. I turned into a terrible person turning on everybody. Most of all he needs your love and understanding. And at times this will be more then tough but stick by your son and brother. I am still in a wheelchair after 18 years and still have pain complications but somebody walking and over surgery, how long? But the combination of alcohol and the narcotics will kill, it will depress his respiratory system and he'll just go to sleep. Forever. I don't mean to sound tough but that's what he needs. Good luck it hurts every time I hear this type of story I sincerely hope you and yours get help in time. Brian
I am sorry for having to invade this post but I have been trying to post a question for 48 hours and I need help fast.
My brother is a recovering addict and has been clean for 6 years. He has been through it all. Addicted to every kind of drug out there. After detox and some probation (long story) he got clean. It almost cost him his job and his wife and children.
It seemed like a good ending to a nightmare.
Our father is terminally ill and is in need of constant care.
My brother jumped at the chance to have him move in with he and his family. I am afraid I have an idea why.
My dad is on pain meds to control his pain. He is picky and complains about every med he has taken so there is a large selection in the cupboards from MScontin, oxycontin, Oxy IR, vicodin ES and vicodin 10mg. You name it he has tried it but complains it makes him sick etc....
Lately I have noticed my brother is on this "high" as far as his energy level, happy go lucky attitude that usually he is more sober and quiet. I am very scared he is helping himself to the meds my dad refuses to take. If I dare make this an issue he will just deny it and give me the "how dare you" sermon. I have noticed in the past he has been more the happy to go to the dentist for a toothache and it never ends from there. He probably goes back to the dentist at least 2 or 3 more times for the same problem saying "it still hurts" so that is what started me wondering a while back but NOW with Dad there and his array of pain meds, I am wondering and very worried as to what my brother is up to. How tempting is this for him? I know he would not risk losing his family again but then again, addicts are good at being in denial. Correct me if I am wrong. Advice please...anybody. Thanks
You have a very good reason to barge in here. I was on my way out the door when I noticed your post so I will try to give you some help. First of all, if you have noticed a personality change in your brother, he is either in love or found a good source of drugs. Ask any addict and they will tell you that their seratonin levels rise dramatically just being near drugs. The temptation is probably more than he can bear for a minute or two. Add the fact that your Dad doesn't want to take them and BINGO! To be sure, keep an eye on those meds even if it means counting each pill. You'll know quickly whether your brother has found himself a new candy store! If he is guilty, you will have to keep the meds locked up or ask him to leave and get some help or both.
I agree with JB. My personal advice to you is as follows. Do not delay counting and keeping a strict inventory on the meds in question. DO NOT confront your brother or person in question until you are sure about the facts. Doing otherwise will just make him be more careful and he will do whateveer it takes not to get caught. Again,do not accuse him until you are sure about your facts. Remember that addiction to pain medicine is a disease that is always with the afflicted person. It is either active or in remission never completely cured. Treatment for this disease should never cease lest it sticks it's ugly tongue at you to remind that it is STILL there! My best,Remain Spiritual Always,
Listen to these folks...as we all have been there. Count the pills immediately, or at least find another spot to put them. Tell your father of the situation. I too, have stolen pills from family members. I am very ashamed of it, very, very ashamed. An addicted person will do these things, so don't think that you are over reacting. Follow your instincts. If you confront him, and you get "the sermon"...ask him to take a urine test. That is what I am doing. I wanted it. My doctor said that if he suspects or if I feel the need to use again, he would be happy to test me. Make him prove it to you. A true clean person, I believe will consent for his sister and his family, for they only have his best interest at heart and love him. Neena
After reading Dan's post...confronting him may be the wrong thing to do at THIS point. I can only give my opinion. I would be furious if someone accused me of using, and I WASN'T. But, on the other hand, my family has taken a different route with me and it has made all the difference. Start by counting the pills. Good Luck and your brother is blessed to have someone like you watching over him. Neena
I want to thank you all for taking the time to respond to my question. I will make it a point to count every pill in every bottle and document them. My dad currently is taking vicodin ES every 4 hours so I will count those as well and I will keep in mind how much SHOULD be missing from the bottle. I will not say a word to him about what I suspect because he surely will deny it if he is guilty. He is great at turning the tables around and making me look like the "bad girl" and that is what he will do. His wife is also what you might call "oblivious" to him because she has no idea what an addict is. She finds an excuse for him for everything! She has said before that he
"used" to have an addiction to drugs but I know that it is a disease that you will have for life no matter if you stay clean or not. It doesnt go away. His wife believes him no matter what and so therefore I know not to even confide in her. My Dad is also someone I couldnt talk to about this because in his condition he would just freak out thinking that my brother may be on the verge of relapse and it would be a mess. But I will keep watch on every pill. I hope and pray I am wrong here but I am no fool. My brother is on this kick about Christmas, decorating the outside of his house beyond belief, cleaning out the garage, the basement, and we are talking about a man that usually spends his weekends relaxing in his favorite chair with remote control in hand. He calls and talks on the phone to me a mile a minute about nothing much!!!
This is not like him to all of a sudden, after working 50 hours a week, to want to induldge in such activities.
Thank you all once again. I will keep in touch to let you know how the situation looks. Hopefully it will be that I am just paranoid.
I am sorry to ask a question on someone elses post but I am wondering how hydro (about 180 mg per day) withdrawl's compare to the withdrawls a heroin addict goes through? How seriously does methadone clinic's take pain pill detox? Just wondering, I am having a hard time kicking this. I am going to try NA, I always start out so motivated but as soon as the depression kicks in that's where I always fail. Thank you all for your support. God Bless Kimberly
I think the next step to think about are the withdrawals. They will inevitably come and you will definately know. If and when this comes about, you will need a lot of help. Plus there's your Dad to worry about. I'll be thinking about you and praying that things work out for the best!
Phil, are you out there? Ok I'm ready. I called AAA and am getting a map to go see Dr. Gooberman, I talked to the nurse twice today and she knows I am coming. I shouldnt make such a big deal of this, right? I just need some imput from you OK? How much better do you feel since taking the buprenex? Do you feel human again? What if someone put 20 percs in front of you? Any craving or desire? I would really, really like to be sure on this. I cant take this lifestyle anymore, and cant look for a job in this condition. Anything you can tell me to get my dead ass there will be helpful, like I said, I"M READY!
I just read this post, so I don't know if you already went or not. What else can I say to you that I haven't already?? Buprenorphine will make it easy to detox. Yes, I felt human after detox was over. IT WILL NOT TAKE AWAY YOUR CRAVINGS OR KEEP YOU CLEAN AFTER DETOX IS DONE. Clear? That part's up to you. If you really want off the drugs, go get detoxed, THEN the hard part starts. Get in NA or AA. Work a program. Stay focused on recovery. Exercise. Get involved in something spiritual. Volunteer for a charity or something. These are the ways to stay off the drugs. JUST GET YOUR AS* DOWN THERE ALREADY!! Phil
I'm sorry that your brother is taking this dangerous route which for him must eventually (if it has not already) lead back into the nightmare of addiction. From the behavioral changes which you describe, it seems certain that your brother is already getting high and probably taking hugh ammounts of these "left-over" meds. May I ask whether your Dad can do without the brother's care? You see, it would be prudent to make arrangements now for an alternative care-giver. One point that seems to have been missed by everyone up to now is this. Your brother will soon run through the "left-over" medications. Do you have any idea how much pain-killer an addict can take in a day? It's staggering. Hundreds of milligrams of hydrocodone, oxycodone, MS, demerol, etc. At a high rate of consumption, all the meds will be gone in three weeks; and what then?..Street heroin? Uttering false prescriptions? Stealing your Dad's meds? I'm sorry to paint so grim a picture and perhaps I am a bit pessimistic; but at least I think you should look into other care-givers. All the best of luck. Bob
Since my last post I have started to have some really bad shoulder pain. It only lasted a couple of days, but I went to the ER, and you got it. I got some pills vicodin at first. Then a scrip for 100 percs. Now this three week waiting period befor my next scrip turned into only one. It was a good week tward the end I felt so good to be doing things without the meds. I woke up thismorning and went as long as I could. Then finaly about 1:00, after a morning of just laying in bed a I caved in. I should have known better as long as I have them in the house I will take them. Oh how I look forward to the day that my doctor hands me a scrip and I say "no thank you I don't need them anymore". I don't see me runing out of pills till the first week in Jan. That will be a bad month for me. I know I have to beet this thing. What is it going to take for me? When will I just say I have had enouph? I hate who I am. I eaven feel I only love my wife and daughter and friends because of and, when I am on the pills. My daughter is so sweet. We adopted her right out of the hospital. She is 6 now and everyday she jumps out of the shcool bus and runs tward me with open arms and almost knocks me over. We have a very good relationship. No body knows what I am going through (exept now all of you) and it has been this way for 20 years, and through the raising of three other children. I don't want them to know untill I am ready to really stop and start living a reall life. They all know I take pain meds but they don't know what these drugs are really all about and what they can do to you. I leveled with my wife about a year ago but then I started to tell her I was better. I just wasn't ready then. You all know what I mean. I know we all have our stories to tell. So lets start sharing them with one another. I will be gone in about a week and a half for three weeks. We are going on a cruis to the Bahamas a trip we have been saving for and looking forward too for some time. Of course I have a doctors appt. right befor I go so I have enouph meds.
Lets all keep our heads up and just know that we CAN BEAT THIS THING. Have some faith in that God given will to live. And thank you for all your support. What a great gift we have in eachother.
I will be reading and maybe posting till I leave so till then.
SUCCESS TO YOU ALL
PS I post my posts in many diferent areas on this site because everybody I want to talk to is all over. Thanks for reading. John B.
One trick that I have used is going an extra 15 minutes each time, before you take your pills. How many are you taking at a time? Get in the car and drive around the block, then you have your extra fifteen minutes :). Then keep building and maybe cut your dosage in half each time. Talk to your doctor. This addiction to Codiene IS VERY COMMON, so he should be happy to help with the tapering. I wouldn't cold turkey alone, though. If you have enough pills to taper us them. Neena
Get yourself a cup of coffee then come read the NOVEL I just wrote to you below!
Okay, I was just wondering how you are doing! I wanted to mention to you to make sure to put YOURSELF first and help YOURSELF before you put your daughter first. Do you know what I mean? Kind of like on the airplane when they tell you in case of an emergency put YOUR oxygen mask on FIRST then the childs. I think that YOU ARE SO SMART for putting your daughter in a "moms morning out", preschool type of setting. Not only will it be terrific for your daughter who will make new friends, get invited to birthday parties and she will also have a break too! etc. YOU will finally have some WELL DESERVED time for yourself! And your daughter will have some time to play with kids her age! I mean think about it. You must notice that sometimes (alot of times in my house) our kids feed off of our stress. Just like we feed off of theirs haha. You notice behavior changes, getting upset more than usual, CLINGY (didnt you mention that too?) Especially with all that has gone on in your house recently. They may not know exactly what is going on but they do know SOMETHING is going on. They can pick up on that too. This is also a way for her to regroup just like it is a time for YOU to regroup! As a mom of 2 youngsters we try to be a superhero as well as all things to all people. Neena, we can only do that for so long until our bodies get upset with us! Like burning the candle at both ends. That is when the stress hits. And the fact that you are dealing with an addiction, trying to be strong for yourself AND your husband (he lost his brother and YOU lost a brother in law), and trying to be a wonderful mother (that I can tell you are from your postings). Please dont let anyone lay a guilt trip on you when that person does NOT walk in your shoes. There was a posting somewhere that upset me a bit that questioned your decision for pre-school. I had a terrible bout of Post Partum Depression when I had each of my kids. It tore my heart out to have my wonderful mom come by and take the little one for the day. I felt as if some friends and neighbors judged me unfairly. I also did not feel the need to tell them I had Post Partum Depression. I felt like less of a person. What kind of mommy would do something like that. And I thought to myself. I am the kind of mommy who needs to be the best she can be! In the big picture of life this is a small blip on the map. In the long term I will be a better person and mom if I can just have some CHILL OUT/calm down time and some occasional time to myself. I always felt overwhelmed with my little ones. That is where the PPD came in. I was so worried about being the perfect everything I about lost my mind. My kids started preschool when they were 2 1/2 and they thrived on it. I started them off on two days a week 9 to 12. It was so embarrassing because they would cry when I would come to pick them up! I felt like I was MOMMY DEAREST. But anyway, my point is they loved it! If they did not want to go on any certain day I let them stay home. I call their preschool a Club Med for Kids. To this day they still go to summer camp there and meet up with the friends that they grew up with there. My kids are 9 and 6. They have very fond memories of their preschool. You can't imagine how excited and prepared they were when it came to starting elementary school. Anyway, Neena, I am so sorry to have gone on this long. I just wanted to let you know that it's one day at a time baby. One foot in front of the other. Addiction is like going on a diet in the sense that you go off of it and you say I am going to start Monday for sure! I am really going to stick with it this time. You hang in there Neena and please don't go anywhere and if you do please share and tell us where you went. I was wondering where that other site was that you were talking about. Sometimes when this place turns into a WWF SMACKDOWN I wish I knew of a site that was a little calmer. Where you don't read things like "I am sorry to be so harsh" or "I am sorry if this sounds hateful" or "I am sorry if this hurts your feelings" these little interventions seem to come off differently on the electronic mail system than someone who is looking you in the eye. Now that my kids are older and not so fragile I am enjoying them immensely and have enjoyed them all along but the stress of being perfect is no longer there. I tell them if I could sew them to my side like an appendage I would. Kids are amazing little creatures. I learn more about life from them than anyone. I am glad you have a dog. That is important. We have a pup. It is a breed that looks like a sheep dog with a tail. That dog brightens our day. He is 13 weeks old. I can see why they use dogs in therapy for old folks homes and other important places.
Okay Neena, NOW what are you going to do with you time off? How about finding a YOGA class somewhere? What about a stress Counselor? How about Tai Chi? Go Get a massage or a pedicure. Better yet just go get a whole damn day of spa treatments! Pamper yourself and just see if you start to feel better. Get to know yourself again (there I go sounding like Oprah). Do whatever you do that makes you happy (Okay Neena other than that!!!) Anyway, Please dont leave and MedHelp please don't kick me off the board or put me on EMAIL/SITE BLOCK because this is so long. I am just trying to help a friend in need! Stay in Touch.
Hey and thanks for that great post. Yes, the post regarding my child rearing decision really upset me because, as I said, my pets and my child are of the most importance. You are so right, though about, ME NEEDING SOME ME TIME. I love my daughter, but I need to back so some for of work for me. I've only been married since March of 98 and my daughter is 22 mos...so you do the math. My hubby is a VERY BUSY ATTORNEY, who changes NO DIAPERS, NO FEEDING, NO BATHING, basically nothing. He is 12 years my senior and has two teenage sons from the previous marriage. Instant family. EEEEAAKKKKK. I was single until then, living with my best friend a 12 year old German Shepherd. Now, well...let's say my life has changed. I hate this addiction, but my endometiosis or whatever is going on down there keeps me on small amounts. I want off. I have my annual exam in January, so who knows. Maybe a hysterectomy is in my future. I will not use physical or emotional problems for my addiction excuse. I cannot blame my bulemia on my mommy anymore nor my self-mutilitation. I am seeing a therapist in hopes of getting all of my "baggage" out in hopes of ridding my need for a crutch. You are very kind...my daughter and I thank you for your thinking of us. As I listen to her on the baby monitor, I am reminded of how precious life is. God Bless, Neena
Thank you for your nice post you made my day! Oh and I wanted to tell you that I have worked with attorneys for 16 years! I am a paralegal in a large law firm. I know how busy those attorneys can be. All for the almightly billable hour! When you mentioned the baby monitor it made me think of all the times I used to VIDEOTAPE the baby monitor. I would just listen to my kids just babble on and on. I have more videotape that just shows constant tape of a baby monitor with sound effects! haha.
Remember to stay in touch.
AAAAHHHHHH, the life of an attorney's wife. I think I've heard opening and closing statements more than a jury. But, you gotta love em. Baby is crying. Be back later. Neena