What is the best way to detox from narcotic pain killers?

[bigmistake]

I began taking pain killers recreationally two years ago.  Last spring, I had a wicked back injury and was prescribed oxys and then time released Morphine.  Completely disregarding my liver and the fact that I could become addicted, I was also buying anything I could get off the street, Vicodin ES, Vicodin HP, Endocet, Percoset, anything generic, and when it was't possible to get my hands on these, I would buy Oxycotin 40s or 80s.  Now I'm screwed.  I can't even get out of bed without eating a pain killer off of my night table.  If I don't take them, I feel like I am being electrocuted.  I CAN NOT FUNCTION without them --  I get cold sweats, chills, hot flashes and nausea.  When I try to not take them, nothing gets done -- I am useless.  The only thing I can do when I don't take them is squirm around in my bed and cry because i am so uncomfortable like a friggin junky.   Since I've been on painkillers, I have become a stick figure, dropping down to 91 pounds.  I don't even get "high" anymore, taking them just makes me feel normal again.  I am afraid and sick now.  I can't go to rehab because my family would disown me.  I hate myself for this and will someone PLEASE tell me how to get this out of my life before I die because I sure feel like I'm dying.  How do I detox from painkillers?

[Erika_Ann]

I feel very ashamed right now. I was on day 10 and relapsed. :(
I have arthritis and couldnt take the pain anymore. I bought 16 pills of vicoden to get me though the pain. Now I have to start over. Im so depressed right now. I live in Seattle and when the rain hits my joints ache like no tommorw.  I wish I could move to a sunny place. UUUUGGGHHHH. Thanks for listening.
:(   Erika

[FINISHED!!]

O.K. This is where things start getting scary. Suicide CAN NOT be an option here. You have to rid yourself of that thought RIGHT NOW. Many here have been EXACTLY where you are in terms of the drug use & we can help tremendously. I don't know what your other issues are but nothing, NOTHING is worth the price of your life. You mentioned your family before...I'm sure they'd suffer a great loss with you gone. I'm sure that the majority of the people here have had thoughts like you that maybe it'd be easier to just swallow a bullet...I know I did. But then it passed as quickly as it came. Narcotics are very tricky. They make you believe you're a bad person. They make you feel like life is a waste of time. In my opinion, suicide is a selfish act. I had a close childhood friend that killed himself due to a bad heroin habit...right in front of his mom no less. At the time, he felt like nobody cared about him & it would be better for EVERYBODY if he just left the world. He was WRONG!!! He is still missed terribly...13 years later. Please seek whatever help you need to help you out of these thoughts. Trust me when I say that it WILL get better. It WILL be tough for a few days but you can do it. The symptoms are miserable but shouldn't be inbearable. If they are for you, then you may want to seek the help of your doctor to work on a weaning schedule or some meds to help aleviate the worst of the symptoms. Keep in touch with us & I'll be praying for you.

FINISHED!!

[FINISHED!!]

Relapse is VERY common & you should not feel ashamed. Continuing recovery is harder than the initial recovery. Some of us HAVE to take a pain med for REAL pain. What's important is how much we're taking. You CAN'T beat yourself up for this. Hey guess what? You're human. Don't be ashamed, just reconize your mistake & rectify the situation the best way you can. You've shown yourself that you can beat this & that's a GREAT accomplishment!!! Just get back on that horse, dig your spurs in & ride off into the beautiful sunset of sobriety.

FINISHED!!

[Erika_Ann]

Thank you SO much for your post. That really meant ALOT to me. Sometimes we need encourgment from someone who understands. You really are a inspiration to me and Ive read your posts alot. You have alot of insight and positiveness about you. Which I admire. Yes, its really going to be hard for me to live the rest of my life without pain med. I cant. I have arthritis and Fibromyalgia for 20 years now. And Im only 31. I have a long battle ahead but Im ready to fight it. I just sometimes cant take the horrible pain and need help you know?
Thanks again for the time you took to respond. It really did mean alot to me
Sincereley,
Erika

[FINISHED!!]

I too have chronic pain & occasionally have to take a pill. I've had WAY too many surgeries, broken bones & injuries not to. As long as I know that I'm an addict & the danger is there, I manage VERY well. Thank you for the kind words. It means a lot that I'm able to help in any way I can. As far as your battle...I'd say "WE" have a long fight ahead of us. You are not alone here. I am in your corner & together, along with the rest of the forum, we'll beat this. I know you'll get back on track with your meds & the time will come when you're able to just take what you need to manage the pain. You take care Erika!!!

FINISHED!!

[Erika_Ann]

Thanks again for your words. I agree with you. Its hard when you cant control the pills and you have a hurtful disease as I do. (arthritis). Ive been though 6 surgeries myself and it sucks huh?
Thanks for being on my side. I need that alot right now.
Erika