Aa
5 Days Clean
Good morning friends, I've hit a bit of a milestone for me...never made it to day 5 before, and I am pretty certain it is because of the help every one of you dear people have given me :) From just reading through posts, getting encouragement, chatting with me through the roughest parts of withdrawal, everyone here has made a difference. I wish I found this place sooner, or may have gotten off from the rx crazy-train a long time ago.
I don't particularly like titles or labels...tend to stereotype people under them, and the term addict always bothered me because of it. I have a completely different stereotype of an addict now. For me, an addict is a person who is too sensitive to the world around them. They have much love and strength to give, yet often have a difficult time giving themselves the same courtesy. They focus so much energy on their surroundings, or their perceived failures, the pain - whether physical or emotional feels insurmountable. The luxury they give themselves is that little hit, temporarily numbing away all the pain the world places on their shoulders. If we lived in a better place, I don't think addiction would be so widespread. We wouldn't want to hide from our perceived or real failures or pains but allow ourselves to accept them, and move on as best we could...no fear of judgment or retribution. Whether we start getting high from scripts, or from street drugs we are all trying to escape from something terrible, that no one but us, really knows. The suffering we create was done unintentionally, a side effect of trying to empower ourselves in some small way.
Those addicts here, or in other places of healing should be very proud of themselves, taking that giant, scary step of sobriety. Facing the prospect at looking at the world again clearly, painfully. Nothing to numb, no more armor in this wicked place. We will make amends as best as we can, showing sincere remorse and admitting we are not as strong as we wish we could be. Hopefully, our loved ones will accept us for what and who we are, forgive us, and let us forgive ourselves.
Well, that's enough of me waxing philosophical :) Obviously I had too much time on my hands this morning. I'm off to actually do some chores, it's been awhile since I've felt so good.
Warmly,
Xandra
I don't particularly like titles or labels...tend to stereotype people under them, and the term addict always bothered me because of it. I have a completely different stereotype of an addict now. For me, an addict is a person who is too sensitive to the world around them. They have much love and strength to give, yet often have a difficult time giving themselves the same courtesy. They focus so much energy on their surroundings, or their perceived failures, the pain - whether physical or emotional feels insurmountable. The luxury they give themselves is that little hit, temporarily numbing away all the pain the world places on their shoulders. If we lived in a better place, I don't think addiction would be so widespread. We wouldn't want to hide from our perceived or real failures or pains but allow ourselves to accept them, and move on as best we could...no fear of judgment or retribution. Whether we start getting high from scripts, or from street drugs we are all trying to escape from something terrible, that no one but us, really knows. The suffering we create was done unintentionally, a side effect of trying to empower ourselves in some small way.
Those addicts here, or in other places of healing should be very proud of themselves, taking that giant, scary step of sobriety. Facing the prospect at looking at the world again clearly, painfully. Nothing to numb, no more armor in this wicked place. We will make amends as best as we can, showing sincere remorse and admitting we are not as strong as we wish we could be. Hopefully, our loved ones will accept us for what and who we are, forgive us, and let us forgive ourselves.
Well, that's enough of me waxing philosophical :) Obviously I had too much time on my hands this morning. I'm off to actually do some chores, it's been awhile since I've felt so good.
Warmly,
Xandra
5 days...good 4 u! thanks for sharing and glad u r up to doing chores....keep moving forward!
COMMUNITY LEADER
Congratulations on day 5!!! That is great. You are heading in the right direction!!! Stay strong.............sara
Congratulations!!! And what an exact explanation of what my addiction really is behind the artificial shelter I've built around myself ! Now if I could only scrape together the courage to break out and expose myself to reality. Thanks for the eye opener and best wishes to winning the battles of addiction that seem to pop up every time you turn around ! !
Day 5 Wow that is great a turning point day for feeling better.. Way to go.. All it will do is get better and better :))) Take care lesa
way to go....before long you ll feel like a new person. day 15 for me and i feel pretty darn good. i do have highs and lows but mainly highs. it gets so much better and you ll never have to go back to that dark place again. stay strong maria
OMG...your post brought tears to my eyes also....very WELL said!
CONGRATS on day 5, thats is awesome, keep up the good work, i'm sure your days are gonna get even better now. You deserve it. Well done again. Keep up the good work.
CONGRATS on day 5, thats is awesome, keep up the good work, i'm sure your days are gonna get even better now. You deserve it. Well done again. Keep up the good work.
Great job! I knew you could do it!!!! Day 5 for me was the turning point and i did actually start to feel better! so think of this..it will only get better from here! glad to hear that you are doing and feeling good!! Keep it up!!
What a wonderful post..just about made me cry. you are a dear sweet woman..and a BIG WHOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOO to you!!!! I am so happy for you and i know you are happy to..I wish you a wonderful day and we'll chat when your done with chores..lol..your actually doing chores???LOL i know you must take care of the animals..♥Lisa
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