Heroine Addiction

[kclark]

I have been married two months.  Two days ago my husband told me that he was a heroine addict.  He is 41, and has been using heroine since 1988.  He used for about 4 years, and then received methadone treatment.  He finished treatment after 4 years, the day after he completed treatment his mother (whom he took care of) died, and he turned to heroine.  He did heroine for a month, then went back onto methadone.  He was on methadone when we began dating.  He did not want me to know about his treatment or addiction, so he decreased his dosage quickly and got off a month before we were married.  He was clean for two weeks, and then started using heroine again.

My husband came to me two days ago and told me of his addiction.  Yesterday he willing admitted himself into a detox clinic at a hospital that has an intensive inpatient/outpatient program.  He will be in detox approximately 3 to 6 days.  After detox a treatment plan will be reccommended.

My question is, what course of action do I need to take, to help with the rehabilitation process?  What can I do to help decrease the liklihood of relaspe?  What is the best method of treatment?

I realize that I have a long road ahead of me, and that relaspe is likely.  I want to be able to do what is best without enabling my husband.

You help is much appreicated.

[Shen500]

Hi

My brother of 19 is a heroin addict, been on it for 2 years now, he has been to rehab once for a month but that did not work.

He is now in hospital for 5 days being given valium to help and thereafter will go to another rehab for 6 months.  As a family we are all so concerned and we dont want to lose him.  He wanted to go to the hospital and do this as he said he just cant carry on anymore.

How is the best way for us to support him through this, we all get so happy when he says he has had enough and is really going to try and then he goes back, we understand it is so difficult for him but we dont want to see him hurt.

The Doctor at the hospital also thinks that he is Bipolar, does Heroin cause Bipolar?  

Any comments are greatly appreciated.

Thx Shen500

[jennyfla]

It is important that you break all ties with your connections... you need to tell them, if they are drs, that you are an addict, and that you are not to be given narcotics!!!  A very very big step i know, but one you will eventually need to take once you are ready to end this kind of life.
When you really want it, it will happen for you, i just hope it doesn't take you down too far by the time it hits you, be very very careful!!!  These drugs have a way of robbing every single thing that ever was important, from you.
Good luck and have fun with your family!
Lv Jenny

[neenie]

HI GUYS I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH. THERE IS SO MUCH SUPPORT HERE. I DON'T POST EVERYDAY. I FEEL SO BAD TO EVEN SIGN ON WITHOUT ANY PILLS. I AM SO USED TO DOING EVERYTHING WITH THE PERCOCETS. I DON'T EVER CRAVE THE OXYCONTINS B/C I KNOW HOW MUCH MORE POTENT THEY ARE AND I KNOW THE PERCS ARE THE SAME THING. EVERY THING I DO I ASK MYSELF IF I;LL HAVE ENOUGH PILLS TO LAST. I'M GOING AWAY FOR A FEW DAYS SOON WITH MY FAMILY AND I WONDER IF I'LL HAVE ANY JUST TO RELAX WITH. SAD I KNOW. WIZARD, I WAS SPELLING IT RIGHT-WITHOUT THE A. I'LL TRY THE OTHER ADDRESS. I ALWAYS COME CLEAN FROM THE PHYSICAL WD BUT IT'S THE MENTAL THING KNOWING HOW EASY IT IS FOR ME TO GET THEM AT THE PHARMACY AND I HAVE SO MUCH ACCESS TO SCRIPTS,. I HAVE THE ULTIMATE CONNECTION. IT IS SO HARD TO STOP. I AM NOW UP TO 6 PERCOCETS AT ONCE. ONLY ONE WAS ALL I NEEDED A FEW MONTHS AGO. TALK TO YOU ALL LATER.  NEENIE

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

Nope! Four days isn't going to change a thing in your life! The odds are so stacked against you that you will fail miserably. Four years on the heavy stuff under your belt? Whoa! All you are doing is buying time on credit here. I'm so very sorry that you are already down the road that I've followed for many years, Sir. Time to wake up and smell the coffee my friend!  J.B.

[Wizard]

My advice to you has to do with part of your post where you say some of your "friends" are junkies. If you can go 6 days cold you can go 12 then 24 so on and so forth. The mental never goes away completely but you can keep it at bay with the right support and will. LOOSE the "friends" unless they are willing to commit to stopping too. There is no way you are going to stay clean for 6 days with the "Dragon" whispering in your ear and being surrounded by your using "friends" as you call them. If you get through this trip clean come back here and let us be your shoulder to lean on. Come back here even if you don't come back clean, the deal is that as long as you keep trying you will eventually make it to the end of the tunnel. God Bless you and I'll keep you in my prayers.
Power & Magick 2 U,
Peace & Light  On us all,
Wiz

[cindi]

If you can I would get some Valium, or clonopin etc. for the withdrawls......then after the  bad part is over you can gradually wean yourself off the benzos..Thomas or wiz can probably help you with this better than myself..do you have access to other opiates that you could taper off of instead of doing it cold turkey   I know wizard did it....I have never been too good at it  LOL     good luck   Love to all              cin

[jennyfla]

Oh Neenie, i don't know you at all, but please know that 'I' understand, and 'I' know your pain, along with many on this board.
You are far from alone!  It is so hard for someone to understand how it all feels when they haven't been through it personally.
Please try to be strong for yourself and your children. It will get better very soon!
My husband is in rehab right now, 1 week now, and he was using a lot of drugs.  He is off everything now, and is starting to feel better, although crampy, but feeling 'alive' for a change.  He hasn't felt that way in quite some time.
I am still home, using, being pitiful, but will soon be standing in the same shoes you are in.
I'm not up on your story, but i do know that you owe it to yourself to start living again.  Living with the percecets is only stealing your life from you!
It will pass and you will start to feel better very soon.
Is there any medical help you can get, counseling, someone to talk to?  I feel so bad for you, you sound like you are battling this alone because your husband isn't educated on addiction.
Take it one day at a time, and soon, the next day will come and you will start to feel better!
I went through this somewhat when i became pregnant 2-years ago.  I stopped everything the second i found out i was pregnant.  I was very depressed for a short while, but soon the sun came out, and i was really enjoying life.  My husband was still an addict, but i was able to start to feel and enjoy life.  Whatever made me come back to this world, i have no idea!!!  I guess i didn't do anything but wait for the day i could use again once the baby was born and i stopped nursing.
But it's time for me to live again, and i am really looking forward to it.  I just have to get past this big hump of withdrawals and know that i can never ever use opiates again.
Please get any kind of help that you can, for you!!!!
You're in my prayers!
Lv Jenny

[dreadhead]

Hello, I was wondering if someone could give me advice.  I have been doing opiates for about 4 years now.  Anything from morphine (pills, IV), methadone, to heroin.  About 2 weeks ago I had quit for 6 days.  But of course I had to relapse.. the physical urges were going away, but the mental urges were horrible.  It doesn't help that some of my "friends" are also heroin junkys but try to quit here and there also.  I LOVE to sleep, but I cant sleep, ever.  I always wake up 5 or 6 times every night.  I was thinking of getting some trazadone or some clonodine for the withdrawls.  Its a Wed. and I am going out of town to Las Vegas on Mon. for a week.  I know I am going to be hurting.  I was thinking if I quit doing the dope about 4 days before my trip, that will give me an extra week away from everything.  Anyone have any suggestions?   (***@****)

[Wizard]

I don't know why you keep getting it back. try sending me something to ***@**** instead and I'll get your address from there.
I have been clean of ALL opiates since April 29, 2001. i didn't want toget out of bed the 1st few days because I was shaking so much but I forced myself to. I "cold turkeyed "it Neenie I'm not sure if that's what your trying or are you tapering? I can sure tell you that if you haven't eaten in 4 days you will definantly not want to get up because you are starving yourself. YOU MUST GET nourishment. You are in the med field this is not any suprise to you. PLEASE seek some help with the eating at the very least. You have to replenish what your brain needs to start production of you own endorphins again. IT CAN'T do that without fuel!. I am very worried about you Neenie. If your husband is an athlete like you said he should know this and be making sure that at the very least you are eating whether he has to spoon feed you or not. Your body will start to adjust to taken in the food but you have to have the will power or the help to get it started. PLEASE keep trying to mail me, I don't know why you haven't been getting through on my other address. Are you spelling wizrd <----- like this with out the a ? That's how I have it. I'm gonna be praying hard for you dear, Don't Despair! and don't give up hope, there is a Light and you can reach it.
I won't say the "dragon" stops whispering but he does get quieter as the days go by. The stronger you get the weaker he gets. remember that. God bless you and your family,
Power & Magick 2 U,
Peace & Light on us all,
Wiz

[neenie]

I EMAILED YOU AGAIN AND IT CAME BACK AGAIN. I KNOW I HAVE THE RIGHT ADDRESS.??????????????????/// ARE YOU STILL TAKING ANY OPIATES AT ALL? IT JUST SEEMS LIKE THE HARDEST THING TO KICK. I FEEL LIKE SLEEPING ALL THE TIME WITHOUT THESE THINGS. AND I TRY EVERYTHING TO GET MY HANDS ON THEM. I JUST WANTED TO SPEAK TO SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN THERE-DONE THAT AND GOT OVER THE MENTAL URGES?????///// LOVE,NEENIE

[cindi]

I am so glad to hear you are not "diverting" as thye nicely put it..man, they tried to get me on everything..listen I tis really late and I have to be up at 5....I'll yap atcha tomorrow  hang in there..someday we will all be ok..love to all   cin

[neenie]

I AM NOT TAKING OPIATES FROM WORK. SOMEHOW I AM NOT THAT DESPERATE ANYMORE AND I HAVE HEARD A LOT OF STORIES SO I DON'T WANT TO RISK THAT. I DID MANAGE TO EAT SOMETHING TODAY AND I GOT UP AND CLEANED THE HOUSE. I WILL OVERCOME THIS ONE DAY. I JUST KEEP THINKING ABOUT THE WAY THESE DAMN PILLS MAKE ME FEEL. BUT THE LAST TIME I WAS ON OXYS I WAS THROWING UP SO MUCH EVEN IF I ATE A CRACKER. MY BODY SEEMED TO JUST BE REJECTING THEM AND SO I DON'T CRAVE THOSE ANYMORE.I JUST WANT THE PERCOCETS SO BAD. SAME THING I KNOW BUT THE OXYS ARE SO MUCH MORE POTENT. THANK GOD I AM NOT ADDICTED TO THEM THOUGH. I WAS GLAD WHEN THEY WERE DONE. I WOULD BE EATING WITH MY  FAMILY AND JUST THROW UP

[cindi]

I am very concerned for you,,,first of all taking ANYTHING from work and I mean ANYTHING even tylenol can lead to some problems..when I got busted at work for diverting they even tried to say I was taking atarax for itchiness from the opiates..they are crazy people..exactly what are you taking as far as opiates?  Neenie,  I talked to you before about checking into a few treatment centers,,,,have you done that?   you are slowly killing yourself but it soon may be faster than slower....no food, no motivation,,you need to get some help,,you have kids, a husband...a job,,,soon to all be lost if you don't get moving,,,at the risk of sounding like I am lecturing you,,please check into help,,intensive outpatient, in patient...anything.....if you just need to talk or something email me...in case you lost my addy:   ***@****,,,I'll be praying for you   hang in there and good luck     love to al   cin

[neenie]

hi it's neenie. thank you all so much for your posts. it really made my day. i am taking zoloft for my depression. i medicate myself from stuff i get from work. i am a nurse and too laxy to go to the doctors for scriptsand so a lot of my pts. take it and i heard it works, but it's nothing like opiates. i'll tell you that much- still have not gotten my butt to an NA meeting. i am just so afraid of the withdrawals and getting off. i went the whole weekend without anything. then i got a migraine and all i had was excedrin. everytime my husband looks at me he says he doesn't know what is going on with me and that i need help and he wants me to go to a hospital. i am like a zombie. i am like in mourning. and i just recently told him everything. he means well i don't know what i would do without him but he will never, EVER  undrestand what i have gotten myself into. he is an athlete in perfect health. he feels guilty to take tylenol. he'd rather die so i know he gets those endorphin highs when he runs every day and he tells me to work ut. i can barely get up to go to work. i don't eat anymore. 4 days so far. not a bit of food. only liquids. it is so easy for him. all i want to do is sleep. he is up at 5 am everyday. and the funny thing is he is 14 years older than me.he says i look like i have no desire to live anymore. when he is at work it is so hard for me to get up and feed my kids. i don't cook anymore. i am just barely moving.i love you guys so much thank you for listening. it is taking everything out of me to type thislove you, neenie

[cindi]

Hi Hon,   I'm sorry  I missed your post,,,,yes I have been in Florida but I am back now....at tleast for time being...and Spook is gone...long story...anyway...sometimes we have to try over and over again and one day it will work....I can read between lines...in my head and in you rlittle imaginary voice I hear you talking and I sense the willingness....Neenie   this is something you have had all along....one day,,it will work for you....keep an open mind...and keep the desire to stay clean and it will happen...Wiz, Skip, all of them are such an inspiration...look to them....we are here for you....Jenny is trying also,,, TRYING AND willingness...WE CAN;T EXPECT TOO MUCH FROM OURSELVES BUT I KEEP SAYING ONE DAY WE WILL ALL BE OK...LOVE AND LUCK TO YOU MY DEAR      Love to all   cin

[jennyfla]

wow, what an inspiration you are!!!!
I hope i can be as strong as you are being, and i don't even have your pain!
Keep being strong!
Lv Jenny

[skipper]

neenie:
i'mrelative new to this forum. Back in may i had a second spinal
surgery. it was in the cervical (neck) region. the summer of 2000
i had surgery in the same area but it failed. my neurosurgeon told
me in january of this year "the fussion failed, you have to quit
smoking for 60 days before i correct the failed fussion. 2 days
later i had access to a 20 gage shotgun and was planning a hunting
accident. after a 72 hour hold in the spin bin i was sent to a
pain doc who took over my pain control. I was put on oxycontin 10s.
after surgery my dose was 120 mg of oxy twice a day and all the oxy
ir i wanted. the pain doc slowly worked me down to 40 mgs twice a day and 4 irs. i jacked the dose up to 120 twice a day. Before this neck trouble started i was clean 18 years. and the oxy did me in,
kicked my ass as bad as heroine. I saw the writing on the wall. i
was also real disgusted with my self. 14 days ago i did a rapid
taper with oxy ir. 1 day free of it i flushed the rest of it down
the toilet. i've been clean of opiates for 10 days. i never could
have done it with out the help of people on this forum. this wd
stuff just doesn't work alone. You can ghost this forum, reading
what every one else has to say, but until you jump in, you are
alone. i'm still riding a +9 pain level, so i probably will go
on and off oxy for awhile. try some of the vitamin combos of
thomas's. they worked wonders on me!
please don't do this thing alone- i did and almost wound up with
a gun in my mouth.
everyone here will help, but youv'e gotta jump in
kip

[neenie]

hi everyone. it has been months since my last post. spook where are you? hi cindi. i know you are in florida. the last time we wrote, we said we would meet somehow here. i emailed wiz for advice and after typing for about 30 minutes, it was sent back. i have the hotmail address but you never got it. isn't it at wizrdmagick@hotmail? anyway, i see a lot of new people have posted. i have been reading a lot of the posts but i finally want to vent...i was up to a few hundred mgs. of oxys for the past couple of days. i can do w/out the oxy but of course it's the oxycodone b/c i love percocets. once you get a few oxy thouh\gh, you can't go back to just percocets, b/c it's not the same feeling. without anything though, i just feel so depressed. i want to start NA but i have no motivation to do anything. i want to sleep all the time when i don't have these pills. i am afraid of the withdrawals, so that's why i keep getting more. i have no true pain anymore. i am just an addict.there were days when i would take like 15 percocetys and a few oxy in one day- not all at once but with it i could do all the things i can't do when i don't have them. i feel so depressed and unmotivated. i have no energy. i started an outpt. program but i walked out during a group session. i hate talking to people and sharing things that i don't want to talk about. i don't even feel like talking. at that time i just weanted to stay home.so i was clean for a total of 7 days and then i got some percocets. in 3 years i have never been clean for 7 consecutive days, but i am going to do this again. i am out of everything. i want to start NA, get a sponsor, and get off of this without feeling the depression,laziness, sadness. please help. love neenie

[Wizard]

neenie, it looks like you got it right so hereit is again for you or anyone who wants to write me.  ***@****    
I've said before and I'll say it again neenie, as long as you keep trying no matter how many times you may relapse you will get there! I won't sugar coat it and say that there is an easy no depression comfortable way to do it, but if you do it the rewards FAR out way the discomforts. As you said you are not in pain you are just taking the oxys for your addiction. Go to the meetings, get a sponsor I'm not sure but i think they don't force you to talk there, maybe someone else here could give you more info on that subject as I only know what I've read here. Please don"t despair and never give up hope! I will pary for you for sure neenie and please e-mail me whenever you want to. If it comes back again let me know here on the forum. God Bless you.
Power & Magick 2 U,
Peace & Light on us all,
Wiz

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

I just read your post and already feel like I've known you for many years! Most of us here know all too well the depression and lack of motivation you describe. It's an ugly world gone upside down without the drug, Neenie. Without help, it seems endless.

Please try to get to a meeting and be around others who are trying to come off of this merry-go-round. You are not required to speak. Just bring your body and your mind will follow, eventually. You will be amazed how quickly you make real friends(scary for addicts)! Hang in there, we need you very much!  J.B.

[kclark]

Thank you for all of your wonderful advice.  My husband is out of the hospital and has started methadone for treatment.  We are currently searching for a good counselor (he was diagnosed with post traumatic stress syndrome and depression).  Hopefully this will help in the future.

The future looks bright, and I am looking forward to the years to come.

[jennyfla]

Good luck to you and your husband.
Listen to all these wonderful people, some great advice from some of the best!!!  As Cindi said, it's hard to understand the disease unless you are an addict yourself.  The best thing you can do is get couseling to understand what things you can do to try not to make the problem worse for him and yourself.
His program should have some family counceling that will teach you all about the disease so you are not so 'in the dark'.  It is very complicated and there is far more to the disease than most people realize.
Be patient, and give him his room to find his way, and always make sure he knows you love him!
Best of luck!
Jenny

[skipper]

KCarke;
welcome to the forum. you will find much support and love on this forum. I've used drugs (mostly opiates) from the age of 14 to 50.
18 of those years were in recovery until an old neck surgery came
along to lure me back down the path.
my first sponcer in a 12 step program told me 3 things to never
forget:
1) I'm going to love and care about you & thereis not a dam thing you can do about it!
2) not everyone is supposed to live through this disease.(many of
my friends fell dead along the road)
3) not all addicts find recoverry
i know these last 2 are awfully severe but my own expierence has
born them out.
your husband wanting to detox and involve himsely in some kind of  
program is a miracle in itself. it sounds like the 2 of you are off
to a very promising start. please stuck with it and let us know how
it's going from time to time. were all ears

[CASEY]

The good news is, he wants to quit. I am so happy for you and him. I look forward to the day that my son is willing to check into rehab for heroin use. I have made all of the classic mistakes in trying to help my son stay clean. Save yourself some time and anguish and start alanon meetings today. They have saved my life. Not only will they help you with your immediate issue but also help you grow in all aspects of your life. The meetings are good for everyone, not just those with addicts in their life.  The forum is right, '"tough love" is a television myth. The only kind of love is authentic love and you will figure out how to be true to yourself and him. You are both in my prayers. Casey