Hello, just wanted to check in. I can't say too much because i am at work. Thanks to tex3 and Groovy for your advice. I also wanted to respond back to missyd and her question about early refills. I have always been able (with a few exceptions where the pharmacy simply told me I was calling a few days early) to get my refills. I never gave any thought to what Groovy had said about the insurance company catching on. Although i have never had a problem, I certainly don't want to take a chance.
As it is I have been playing with fire way too long and have been lucky to have had no repercussions (other than losing some years of my life and making my primary career the seeking of pills) It is so insane when I think about it. What a way to live!!
I can say that and mean it intellectually and still have undesirable cravings for those pills!! I am trying to taper down have 4 pills left with 1 refill. The urge to take them is uncontrollable totally beyond my self will.
I will try to write again. My husband and I are leaving for a week's vacation and won't have computer access. If I don't write again before Sunday I will write as soon as I get back.
Wish me luck and thanks for being there all of you.
it's good to hear your gf is there for you. what about afterward detox? i asked you that question a couple times...are you avoiding it?! i know it's a hard one, and you probably don't have anything in place and neither do i. i have to think of something that will take the place of doing drugs. when i get the urge, i need something to do with my time to take its place...i know it probably sounds weird, but i did spend a ton of time on keeping up my supply.
i thought maybe in asking you the question, it would make you think about it at least - maybe give me some ideas as well.
Thank you both for all the help. I really appreciate it.
Groovy, My girlfriend is handling everything very well. I couldn't ask for anything more. Like I said she has told me that if I don't try to quit then shes gone in a heartbeat, but she knows I will stumble a few times. She knows that as long as I'm sincerely trying then she is happy with me and will continue to be. She is truely a god send and I can't wait until we are married. I'm just a little shy of being 23 and I plan on getting engaged with I'm almost 25. I have a good amount of time, but we have been together for 2 yrs and I have only grown to love her more and more each day. Point being, I need to start saving money!! Which brings me to the tapering question. I don't have the money to taper the way WW suggests. My brother has a good amount ov hydro however, not enough........ I actually might buy some from "my guy". He called me last night to see how I was doing and to apologize because he has not been able to get the 40mg Methadone wafers..... I told him what I was doing and that I didn't have money for all the hydro. He said he would be willing to give me as many as I needed and I could pay him back whenever. He also said that if I pick them up he would not even answer my calls let alone give me some more drugs........... a dealer with morals....??? kind of funny. Anyway, tomorrow will really be the start of the taper, wish me luck!! and please post today if you can.
GWH
gwh, yep..my doc told me that going down by one pill, or even half a pill every two days will let you slowly withdraw with a minimal of discomfort.
Thing is, i tried that last year and had no self control. I'd do it for a few days and then say "oh **** it" and swallow a handful. lol
Some people have the discipline to taper. More power to you if you do.
The good thing about tapering, and using things like bup, is that you break the pattern of getting high. We have to stop the habit of getting high, and that is one of the hardest parts of recovery.
We're with ya every step of the way my friend. Keep reaching for the light!
love,
WW
i don't usually watch soccer, however, we just signed my daughter up so i'm sure i'll be learning a lot about it this year.
what about the tapering schedule witchywoman mentioned? i think it was go down 1 pill every 2 days or something...you could do a search on the site for it. if you go from 9 to 6 in a day, i think you might be feeling kind of crappy. i remember ww saying that if you follow the schedule she talked about, you would only have very mild w/d symptoms. i'd hate to have you hurting if it can be helped.
how's your girlfriend handling all this? i hope she is supportive. have you thought about after w/ds? what you can do to maintain sobriety? that's the part i have trouble with.
i'm doing ok with the bup...i can't see the day yet when i give it up entirely...i will still need something for migraines, but i don't want to be taking something on a daily basis forever.
today is my little girl's last day of kindergarten - this year flew by, and i'm looking forward to a nice summer - without pills! that is such a relief!!
have a great weekend - check in here if you can to let us know how you are doing. i know you don't usually post on the weekends, but maybe it will help?
good morning, well, for the last 2 days I have taken 9 vics so I haven't had majore issues YET, yet being the key word. Today I will take 9, but for the next 3 to 4 days I will take only 6, this is gonna hurt a little, but I can feel it, for every relapse I have had, I feel myself getting closer, and more hunger for sobriety. By the way, the US just lost!!! (soccer) I"m so mad about that, anyway, I'm sure you all don't watch soccer....... I hope everyone is doing well. Groovy, how have you been feeling, I noticed your post, about reducing your bup intake quite a bit, thats great!! just keep it up! Write back when you get a chance.
GWH
Skipper, hows the weather in your area.......?