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Withdrawl/ Tapering

I was put on Oxycontin, with Percocet for breakthrough pain about a year ago. While awaiting another surgery to my Cervical Spine. I have Severe Disc Degeneration in all of my cervical spine. Now the problem i am having is no doctors will do the surgery, due to the medications. The surgeons say that in order to control the pain after surgey they would have to give me way to much medication to control the post op pain. I dont use the meds for a "high" but that really doesn't matter from what i can see. There will still be some w/d's from the meds. It is comforting to know that one is not alone, while going through these. Im concerned with the tapering side of things, as it is easy to take another pill when you start to feel the slightest amount of discomfort. You all provide a great service here. I know how alone it feels to think that "you" are the only one going through it. So you can add another person to the "I feel alone realm".
Jeff
***@****
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Avatar universal
It does help doesn't it. I feel your pain (wink) It is so hard to go through this and harder alone.  Keep posting.  You are not alone..

Sheila
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I will keep posting, and believe it or not it helps tons to have an idea what to expect. It helps one prepare mentally.
Jeff
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Avatar universal
Jeff,
The doc is of course right. He would probably have to give you a bottle or 2 of morphine just to take the edge off the pain now.
You are on so many opiates now that it would take alot to help you.
I know, cause it happened to me. I have surgery about 4 months ago. Normal hernia type surgery, although it was a little harder since I had one about 5 years ago in the same spot.
While in the o/r I came too and couldn't believe the pain. I was about to rip the metal sides of the bed off. They took me into the recovery room and gave me a ton of meds until the pain was bearable. The doc was like "I have never had to give that much pain medicine after a surgery like that before?"
I assume it was because I was taking about 8-10 percoset a day at the time to deal with the pre-op pain. Of course I was taking too much, but at the time I quess I was thinking I wanted to really be "Pain free". NOW I AM BEGGING TO BE OPIATE FREE!

So what is the story with you? You obviously know you have some sort of a problem otherwise you wouldn't be here. You are also wondering whether you are taking too much medicine. Yet it is prescribed.
SO was mine. I just took too much and continued to. Then made more excuses in the world for why I "had" to take it for this pain or that. I could of taken 2-4 meds a day prior to surgery and then 4-6 for a week after. Then stopped and would have been on my merry way.

Here we all are.........days, months, years later. Same stories, same addictions, same problems, yet different minutely in some way. We are all bound together by the same bond.

Jeff, be glad you are here now, not 10 years from now, like some of the people on here did.

Let us know what is going on, we are all here to listen, help, and just be there.
CHezz
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I don't know who you are but your posts are beautiful, in a no bs sort of way.  it helps me every time I read one.  Just wanted to tell you that
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Well, yes, i know that at one point or another that i have "over" indulged in the meds. And i know that there will be some degree of difficulty coming off of them. I am laying the ground work for the days ahead of me. I know that it's going to be difficult not only mentally but physically. It is hard to break the "routine" of popping a pill at the first sight of pain. I think another one of the problems for me is they always said to stay ahead of the pain, or then it's 2x as hard to catch it. So of course, i WAS always ahead of it. I made everyone aware of what the next month or so holds to try and get a good support group around me. Then i came across this site, and thought what a great site, everyone here has gone through it. Everyone in our situations need support at one point or another, I think if we were to ask the number of people who have done it all alone, it would be very minimal.
Jeff
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Avatar universal
Just a suggestion to all.
If you do decide to quit, and talk to your spouse, family, friends, doc, ect. You get all excited and let them know. You start going through it, can't face it, then........relapse.
DO IT WHEN YOU ARE READY!!!

Can you imagine what it is like for these people to see you go through this and then want them to ride the "roller coaster" with you. They get tired of hearing about how you are going to get better, you aren't feeling good today, you are out of meds, going to get some soon. They heard all of this **** while we were taking the meds. Now they get to hear how we couldn't make it. That we needed the meds, ect.
Then 2 months down the line and you rush to them again so you can get their support through it AGAIN. So they are for you.......... and the story goes back to the start again.

The point, these people in our lives get tired of seeing us always in "need". Our lives are always in disarray, we need this, we need that. They get tired of hearing that when we are using. So to say it is finally over and then take them on another ride is one they might finally say "I want off", talk to me when you are!

This is the reality.

Get better, stay healthy, and stop bsing yourself and everyone else. If you are ready to live normal, do it. Don't talk about it. Do it.

It is harder than hell for some, a little better for others, but the bottom line is we all have to go through it to finally be "right" again. And for that, we are all in this together.

Chezz
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Avatar universal
What are you dreaming about?

I am dreaming about being "FRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

I can't wait.

That made me feel so good inside to read your post. I just take a different view on things sometimes. I know it helps me to see other peoples view of what I am doing.

I am scared as can be right now. This is hard, and is only going to get worse in the next couple of days. One thing I do know is that it can't get worse by talking about it. It can only help.

Where are you at? Are you still clean. I read where you had said you had been clean for a week. I hope you are. And I know I will in a week.

Chezz
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Avatar universal
Jeff,


I too stumbled upon this site just a week ago myself, and the people here are fabulous!  We are collectively intertwined, and tied together by the bonds of opiate addiction.  It does help to talk with others whom can truly relate.  Like I
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Avatar universal
Chezz,
To me it is not an option to fail. I am 31 years old, own a business, and have all the will in the world to stop. Even knowing all that it is going to be hard. And yes as you said, it is going to be difficult on those around me. They will have no idea about what i am going through. That is why i came here. Here NO ONE is alone, and we all know about this addiction. And how hard it can be to free yourself of it. I used to tell people that didnt know me and tried to judge me on my taking meds to manage pain, until you walk in my shoes dont judge me. But here it is as, all we are all in the same shoes, in some sort or another. I just want to have the best resources possible, and as the need calls for it, to use them. I wish all here the best of luck in changing your lives around. Though it will not be easy, the rewards will be well worth it.
Jeff
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Avatar universal
Jeff,

That was just a "moment" I had. It wasn't directed toward you. Just the thought to everyone in general.
Mainly for myself. I hate to say it. Sometimes it helps to just let things rip and go with it. Then read it later and go WOW what was that.

I hope the best for you. I'm sure you can get through it. We all have while we were using.

I am just the type that likes to get it and deal with it. I like to hear other peoples stories and let them know mine.

It was tiring me out trying to think up new stories about how I was different. I'm not. I'm strung out just like somebody who doesn't have a home, spouse, nice cars, ect. I am no better or worse than the addict that lives where he can, is dirty, tired, and lost too. Once I realized that, it made dealing with it easier for me.

I noticed myself wanting to sugar coat my story and what I was going through when I 1st saw this site a few weeks ago.
Now I am at piece knowing that that person on the street has just as much to loose by getting clean as I do. We both are going to "loose" something that was in our life for a while and now we have to get better.

Just thoughts,
Chezz
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Avatar universal
I almost missed your reply.  I am in ND.  and yes still clean.  not loving it, having a hard time sleeping and all that. I don't think I have had quite the road that some people have but we all walk with our demons and our baggage.  You are right, it helps to talk or type...

anyway, how about you? where are you?
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Avatar universal
I am in California. Clean 6 hours. LOL
Sometimes I don't feel like I have gone down that road either. But you are right, we all have our demons. I just wrote something about that prior to your post.

I have been feeling kind of off since only taking 2 pills this morning. It is only the start. Tomorrow during the day will be bad, as well as tomorrow night. I am just looking to get through the day and being happy, clean and moving on with my life. Especially at 28. I still have alot of life to live.

This forum will be my savior throughout these next days and week.
Your help, support, and words help so much through this time.
Thank you,
Chezz
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Avatar universal
Chezz,
I didnt feel as if was directed towards me, even it was it, it is good advice. It is not fun for the abuser as well as the family and friends that you decide to have as your support. It is almost as if they think that your failure is due to something they did or didnt do, so it is very important that once you get others involved in your decision to quit that you follow through. More than just you, is riding on that decision. Again, i feel your advice on that was good.
Jeff
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Avatar universal
Synderella,
We are all in the same boat whether we admit it or not. You are very correct in saying that persons that are not dependent on opiates, really dont understand what it is like. Like you that is why i went elsewhere. To fine people like myself that know what it is like, and to hear the stories about people that have made it through. It gives all hope. They are the best ones to talk to and get advice from, on how they did it and what worked and didnt work for them. Even though we are all different, this is one thing that we all have in common. Admitting that there is a problem is hard. And the first step towards any kind of normalcy.
Luck to all of us.
Jeff
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Avatar universal
pon
Hi jeff...welcome...i am on day six and just found the site a few days ago myself.  Like you I got nabbed by RX vikes after shoulder surgery...doesn't matter though, addiction is addiction.

I quit alcohol 15 years ago (this decemeber) and have been drug free until this...like you I am in a position of responsibility, 41, wife, 2 beautiful daughters and number 3 due in febuary...am a VP at a big company...but I am an addict.

Chezz was right about the support around you...but take it as you should everything here, that each of our lives and situations are different, it is our addiction we share.  Do what is right for you, but be careful for those you love too.  When I quit alcohol there were many false starts (and maybe my big 6 days right now will be one too) and I hurt a lot of people around me....do what is right for YOU, just think it through.

Be careful too about "not an option"...you are tough, you have to be to have gone through what you have and still be successful and have such resolve...but this is a tough addiction.  I may be a little different than most of the folks here, because I generally post when I am feeling better, not bad...it can be really bad...but you can do it.  Just don't be tough on yourself where you don't need to be.  IF you fall off, don't decide you have failed forever because "failure is not an option"...Get back on and keep trying.

Good luck to you.  You sound like a really good guy who has had a miserable hand of cards dealt to him, BUT has still managed to win.  I'm betting you'll win this one too.  Keep posting...I'm a newbie here, but I have to say that all the people here are wonderful.  I have never been so sacred in my life as I was when I finally realized I was addicted to the meds...these last 6 days have been a hell of a lot easier for me because of the people here.  

Keep posting, I bet there are a lot of people YOU can help.

Pon

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Avatar universal
It sounds like i have found the right place for when the hurting really starts, It's people like Pon, Chezz, synderella, and others that make this site what it is. I to am here to help, and be helped. I have a great desire to quit and it gets stronger everyday. I do realise that there is a big mental hurdle to jump, but like the rest of you am ready to make the jump, or wouldnt be here. I can no longer be stingy with my life, it's not all about me. It's about all those who care for me. I realise that there might be some real tough days out there. That which doesnt kill us, makes us stronger. And thankfully we can all look here for strength, when we have none left.
Jeff
If anyone wants to email me or chat live i will always be willing.
***@****
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Avatar universal
Jeff,
I am 6 days clean and first day back at office.
  With the help of a few biochemicals..tyrosine, clonidine..I felt BETTER than I did on hydrocodone. I was INTERESTED in stuff and got engaged in revamping the office.
Energy ran out some later in the day but it was still a really good day.
My point is some people can do it fairly easily.
Some people have it harder. Be optimistic, you may be one of the luckier ones...go for it.
Strongly suggest you do it through a doctor, if possible.
Gest of luck, Serge.
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Avatar universal
You sound just like me. I was escalating my opiate use, Vioodin, and  noticed that even with the meds at 10-20 10mg vics a day I still had pain. Tolerance sucks. It hurt to have hot water on me from the shower. What's going on here? Stoned and tired and the pain is worse. Then the pain eased. The second back surgery this year finally worked. Am uncomfortable but no pain. Thank God. Why stay on the vics I have no natural opiates. I hope to get them back. I have been a pill taker all my life. I would hate to see my liver and kidneys after all the tylenol I have shoved down my throat. I also quit drinking 5 years ago. All it did was make me sleepy and "then it would be hard to find the door" lyric by Hoyt Axton No NO Song done by Ringo Starr in the 1980's I think. I used this tune in my head when I feel a crave. Good luck. Get off them f____ing pain pills they will kill you. Al least lower your amount so your docs can operate on you. Konrado I ain't no expert on this but I am on day 11 on my recovery and detox. Ambulatory medical detox. I'm feeling better today thank you.
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Avatar universal
Moxy: I started to taper one day last week but then realized I had a refill left and I knew that I would not be able to go through completely knowing I had a script for 90 hydro just waiting for me. I've tried to put myself in a position where there is no easy option. I don't have any doctor relationships and I was forging to get pills. I will not forge again. I don't have access to any other pills. It's taper now, or use 'em all up in a few days and go cold turkey. This brings me to my response to Chezz:

Chezz, Thanks for your feedback; you're right that things seem out of control: I've taken more in the last few days as I've tried to eliminate my supply to limit my options and start my taper schedule. You indicated that cold turkey would be best once I got down to a more reasonable daily dosage. I would prefer to do that except I cannot take any time off from work and am much relied on at home given my wife's condition. When you mention that cold turkey followed by a couple of valiums a day is a better approach, is it your experience that the valium alone will ward off the completely incapacitating withdrawal effects and I will be able to function (go to work, help out at home)? My tendency is to go cold turkey, but again, I cannot be completely down and out. I can take uncomfortable and weary, but I cannot by out of commission completely.

Thanks,
Sean
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Avatar universal
I have had 4 back surgeries,the last was anterior and posterior
fusion.They went thru the front and back and fused my last three
disc.Like many here I have been diagnosed with Degentative Disc and Joint disease.I have also had an Osteotomy,had 12 inch
pin graphed into my right leg to straighten my right knee.I am
about 10 months away from right knee replacement.
I say all this because I have been addicted to hydro,oxy and pot and alcohol since 1989.After 4 backs and 4 knee/right leg
surgeries I used the pain as an excuse to stay high,hell it's legal you know.I detoxed using methadone then phenobarb and
clonidine to withdraw.It was hell,I mean hell.It took until day 20 before I could function as a human being.By then I noticed all the pain I had been having but not knowing because of all the
opiates in my system.28 days now since I took my last pill,but you know the pain ain't as bad as I thought.Alot of the pain was the guilt I felt because I was a drug addict.
Make that stand and my best advice to anyone here.
STOP TAKING OPIATES.Sounds real easy, but you know it's hell.
Once you get the drug out of your system,then you will start healing,not before.As long as 'the drug'is in your body,you will be weak.Once your head clears you will see things alittle differently.I promise it does get better.
                                  bmac
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Great Post
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Yeah,ain't life a *****.I never thought I would be able to stop.
I was a weak person up until now.Something just clicked and before I knew it,it was day 20.Use the recipe and stop beating yourselves up over it.
                               bmac
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Avatar universal
.... I get the feeling that your strength was probably always "there", just mutated due to strange opiate forces...

Keep up the great work Bill!!
(I'm entering my second month OFF, and feeling very well)
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Avatar universal
Well it is day 2 for me. I woke up and felt better than I ever did taking the meds. This is a 1st for me since on day 2 I should be having one of my worst days from past experience.
I know this is directly corrolated to the L-Tyrosine. That is the main thing I have been taking. Along with Zinc, Mang. mix, Centrum, and tazesazpam (SP).
Personally on a scale of 1-10 this w/d so far has been a 4. So I feel pretty good today.

Now the pain is on a different page though. It has come on pretty strong. So that sucks. I am taking IBP 800.

I also had a long discussion with my doc yesterday. He feels strongly about treating my pain and getting me to see someone who can fix it. The last nuerosurgeon I went to gave me some meds, a toridal shot, and a paper and half hour discussion on eating more meat ect. Like the atkins diet, he even had a handout. Needless to say I was blown away.
That is why I am where I am now. I am tired of taking the meds, since I do abuse them sometimes. But I also need to see a doctor who can take care of the problem or get me to see people who care to help.
I told my doc I need a long term plan that will keep me from getting these episodes. Then I won't have to deal with the pain med situation at all.

Good luck,
Chezz
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