another day

[a549056]

mornin fellow junkies. todays another day. some of us are feelin ruff, some of us are feelin great. i just want to re-asure all of you that the pain WILL go away. take it from a hard-core, main-lining junkie who knows. hell, if my pain went away, everbodys will. im headed to work now, and feelin great. something i thought was never gonna happen again. but i'll be dam, it did. you all stay clean long enuff, and your gonna get the suprise of your life....feelin good without. (unnerstand suzi & tammy?) it will happen---------

tf

[FINISHED!!]

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for ALL of the kind words. Today has started off as a sad day for me, learning that one of our MOST VALUED members has been banned for speaking of God. You have lifted my spirits somewhat & for that I am greatful. Thank you Son4 for reconizing the work that is done here, regardless of beliefs, age, race or otherwise. We are a family of addicts & need each & every person here. If one does not believe in a higher power that is his choice. He has the same choice to overlook the posts from those of us that do. Please understand that this forum is a very important part of many peoples lives & recovery. To ban one for the mentioning of God is a midevil practice...a burning at the stake if you will. We all have our own tools in place to battle the addiction in our lives...be it the Thomas Recipe, tapering, cold turkey or God. We should be allowed to offer our tools to those who seek them. Again, it is then that person's choice to choose his weapon to fight the good fight. We have suffered a GREAT LOSS & I am sad for this...

FINISHED!!

[Son4]

Being off work and lots of time to kill! I am what you all call one of the lurkers !! I have been coming here several times a day for near 2 weeks now and I am learning sincerely learning that you all are NOT the scum of the earth you are ALL good people with a BAD problem and it has indeed been HELPED by the medical folks ! Its cheaper and less costly to them money wise and time invested to write you a script I am learning this now with my own DR ! They are trying to work up a bowel and stomach diagnosis on me while at times I have great pain their answer has been Vicodin at times the ES at times the regular , Having heard at different times about how bad this could get addiction wise I headed to google and found you folks and I want to let you know God may have used you all very greatly and has spared me the agony that you all have been through and are still going through! I have read all the posts you all have made for a long time and I think because I am FRESH at this I can see how far you all have come and you ARE making progress you truly are each day when you all post and CARRY one another its awesome maybe you all dont see that but its there ! I am very possibly one of many that from your expierence with addiction may be spared ! I am forcing myself to go longer between doses and taking less than I am allowed and pushing the DR to find somehing not so easy to become addicted to! I am doing better with this issue because of YOU all not the scum of the earth but people that are willing to share and help thats GOOD people not bad ! So all of you Ed finished Vicnomore Tammy lisabet all of you PLEASE keep sharing and loving each other You really do LOVE each other very easy to see and have great care for each other thats very very good ! I like to read too how God is moving in your lives and how some turn to him and those that may be angry with God are hearing that God sure does love them yet and only because man has desired not to have God intervene without the mans permission do we get and notice I said we get into the things that at times mess up our lives ! Sorry to ramble but I have learned much about people in the past 2 weeks and I was very stupid of the things of the world I guess I am 53 been over a good share of the world fought in 2 war zones and wondered at how stupid I could have been about people but like I said because of you GOOD folks here I am being enlightened LOL !! I mean thatand thanks again for sharing so others can avoid !! Finished you are missing your calling you need to WRITE !!! You have a hugeeeeee amount of talent !!!!! Truly I say God Bless you all and I pray he moves mightily in your lives and brings that peace you all are looking for it is doable just ALLOW him he will NEVER force himself on you !!!He cant he LOVES you too much !!! Son4

[PunkRawkGurl1q21]

Each little message I read makes me want to cry. Partly because it makes me sad that everyone has to go through this and partly because I'm happy because now I know I'm not alone. Its so hard to deal with addiction when your so young. Just to give you a little background I'm 18, a student in college, and I was in a serious car wreck on October 2, 2002. I ended up having surgery to repair my knee and put a steel plate on my pelvis. I had a lot of pain from the accident and the surgerys and mostly because of the damage to my cyatic nerve. After a month of being on Norco my surgeon wanted to put me down to Vicodin. Unfortunately the Vicodin didn't work so they sent me to the pain clinic. The pain clinic gave me another prescription for Norco, put me on Duragesic pain patches, and gave me two lumbar sympathetic blocks. So I spent the second month after my accident on Norco/Vicodin and Duragesic simultaniously, along with Neurontin and amitriptalyne. After the second lumbar block my pain went away and I was discharged. The doctor told me to finish out the patches and didn't tell me anything about withdrawls. During the third month after my wreck I was feeling better so I figured I would just take the patch off. I got very sick but attributed it to the flu. I put another patch on just to ease the symptoms of the flu. I decided a few days later to try to stop using it again. I got very anxious, I couldn't concentrate, I was very depressed, and I felt really sick. Not to mention I felt like I had a 103 degree fever. I was really desperate for someone to talk to because I was home all alone so I called my ex-bf who knows a lot about prescription narcotics. I told him what was going on and he immediately realized I was having withdrawls. He said fentanyl is as addictive as heroin and the withdrawls can be pretty severe. He said I should call my doctor. I tried but I kept getting their answering service and no one would call me back. I tried to take care of it myself by wearing the patch past the 3 days hoping the meds would taper off and I would be ok. No such luck. I kept trying to call and finaly the day before christmas eve I was on the 4th day of my very last patch the nurse called my house and said my doctor was out of town she didn't know what to tell me. She said one of the doctors had suggested wearing the patch past the 3 days, blah blah blah. I told her it wouldn't work. She said she's have my doctor call me when he got back a week from that day. I didn't sleep at all that night. I didn't sleep at all Christmas eve. On Christmas day I felt so sick. I was exhausted and nausiated. As the day progressed on I started feeling really anxious. I couldn't sit still for anything. I tried to lay down on my couch but every part of my body in contact with the couch felt so hot it hurt. I started crying and I couldn't stop. I felt so completely sick. I begged my mom to take me to the ER. She finally relented because it was getting so bad I just couldn't take it. We live out in the country so it was quite a drive to the hospital. On the way all of a sudden I couldn't feel my arms and I started to feel like I was going to throw up. I thought I was just going to dry heave since I hadn't ate anything but I didn't. I threw up all over myself. It was so embarassing and the whole thing made me feel that much more sick. We got to the ER and explained the situation and the doctor was pretty nice. He said I was going through severe withdrawls. He gave me the option of taking a lower dose narcotic or something that was completely non addictive. I chose the non addictive one. They gave me a shot which was suppose to knock me out. (yeah right) I started feeling worse. Then they said I needed to go home to lay down. I almost told the doctor that if he sent me home like that I was going to go home and kill myself because I couldn't take it. I did make it home, but since it was Christmas day my family was all there. I layed down on the couch and my mom closed all the shades. My grandma gave me 2mg of Xanex but it didn't help. For about 2 hours I layed on my couch kicking and thrashing and crying and moaning. I couldn't stop it. It was so horrible I wanted to die. I accidentaly pulled a big chunk of hair out trying to calm myself down. I finally fell asleep. When I woke up I felt like ****. I did get a few hours of sleep that night. But for 4 nights after that I didn't sleep at all. The only kind of rest I got was when I would be sitting there watching TV and all of a sudden it was a half hour later and something else was on. It was scarry because I didn't remember falling asleep or waking up it was just like I lost a half hour somehow. I did that for 4 days. Finally the monday after christmas I got an appointment with my family doctor. On our way out of the house the pain clinic called and said they would call in a prescription for methodone. I said ABSOLUTELY NOT. I went to my family doctor and he put me on librium and ambien. So that took care of my physical withdrawls. But there was an aspect no one bothered to think about...I also had a psychological dependancy. The pain medicine was the only way I knew how to cope with the pain inside from my accident and everything I had been through. I went through a period of a few weeks where I just didn't know what to do. I needed a release. I needed something to make me feel ok. It was just too much for me to handle. Not to mention the physical pain from learning to walk again after 3 months. So the point to my story is just to give a shout out to everyone who's ever gotten addicted to pain medicine. WE AREN'T ALONE. It sucks to have to go through all this ****, but in the end its alright it just takes a long time. Sorry to bore you with my long story, but I at least feel better having talked about it. I was afraid to talk to my friends and family because I was afraid they would think I was somekind of freak or something. Thanks to everyone who read this.

*They say its over and I'm fine again. Try to stay sober. Feels like I'm dying. And I am aware now how everythings gonna be fine one day...too late?...time will tell. You say its over I can sigh again. Why try to stay sober when I'm dying?? I am aware now how everythings gonna be fine one day...too late...I'm in hell.*  Seether - Fine Again

[InsaneinTN]

I'm B'Belt's sister with the same problem...runs in the family! He's asked me to post for him.  MY ONLY COMMENT...JESUS IS THE TRUTH AND THE WAY...JESUS IS KING!!! Don't worry "big brother" (talking about the powers that decide who posts and who doesn't), this Believer won't bother to post anything more except I pray for you all in Jesus Name!

Vicki

Comment by B'BELT
My dear friends. I have been notified by the forum that I am not allowed to post, and I quote,"We have received
a number of complaints regarding your religious postings in our online forum." I guess I should have stuck to"higher power," in this politically correct society.
  I'll miss you all but want to thank you for your help making it seven days. Keep Fighting, you'll make it. I also hope some of my wisdom thru suffering has been of help to even one person. If I can help my address is ***@****. May the "higher power" bless all of you. I'll miss you, hope a few miss me.
                Blackbelt
  Vick , Will you post this for me. Jesus Lives.

[J. E. W.]

Got it.. You got mail now.. 18 and going strong so far....              J.E.W.

[straightjacket]

i e mailed 18 days stay strong my friend .