christian relapsed

[LIZZIE LOU]

i have been here for 11 months now...not many of you were here when i first came.

i guess the purpose of this post is just to vent.  there is nothing that any of you can do to help him...hell, he cant help himself.

my son christian is a crystal meth addict.  he was diagnosed with HIV last march and married in june.  neither of these two things are enough...nothing is ever enough.

i am physically sick as i am writing this...his addiction and lack of wanting to help himself...makes me puke...literally.  this has been going on for 10 years now.  

during his first visit to UAB...seeing his HIV specialist...he was told that he could NOT do meth and expect to do well.  it will actually lower his cd4 count and could change his status from HIV to AIDS.  was that enough?  hell no.   his g/f married him...knowing that he cheated and acquired HIV.  doesn't he know how lucky he is?  is she enough to make him want to quit?  apparently not.

i'm sick and frucking tired of hearing his promises...his lies.  i am sooooooo sick of him that i truly hope that he looses everything.  going back to prison would be a huge relief off my heart.   dont tell me you want to quit...show me!  if someone wants to stop doing drugs...they frucking do something about it.  they just dont talk about it.  I HATE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I HATE WHAT HE IS DOING TO HIMSELF...HIS WIFE...AND HIS FAMILY.  he is the most selfish person that i have ever met.  how can you have a wife at home and stay out all night doing meth?  and God know "who"??????  he is a disgusting piece of shiat.

[oxyaddict420]

I truly am sorry that your son is hurting you so bad that you feel the need to bash on me and nit pick about everything I am doing here!

I AM HERE FOR SUPPORT! NOT FOR PEOPLE TO RUN ME DOWN!  

I AM HERE TO SUPPORT ADDICTS THAT NEED HELP, AND RECIEVE HELP AS WELL.  ALL YOU ARE DOING IS BEING NEGATIVE.. I WILL NO LONGER PARTICIPATE IN YOUR BANTER!

[LIZZIE LOU]

well then one of us cant add.  on jan 14...at 10 something p.m...you posted that you took three percoset (think that was what it was) and that you had three more to take that night.

so what you are saying is that you are clean and sober from just oxys...guess the percs dont count?????  did you state that it was your "mom" that brought those pills to you?

[oxyaddict420]

58 HOURS CLEAN AND SOBER!  It is hell, but I AM WILLING TO DO THE HARD WORK... I AM WILLING TO GET HELP.. I AM WILLING TO TAKE THE RIGHT STEPS!!  

[road2recovery]

GOSH--- i am so very sorry...And i can feel your pain..We addicts don't realize what we do to the ones who love us.
just know your post has helped me to keep trucking....Over 4 months clean and i will do everything in my power to never hurt my family again...
beleive me when i say your post has helped me...I just wish there was something i could do to help you, and take away some of your pain
god bless you kim
love u
r2r

[LIZZIE LOU]

spoken like a true addict!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dont think i "bashed" you...i questioned you.  seems like you are a little touchy...may have something to do with the fact that you cant get past the first 24 hours to see if you can put your theory to the test.

[Clamity2]

I know how much it hurts to worry about a son. My son was on a fast track with LSD, extacy, and whatever he could get. I was expecting the phone to ring with his dad telling me he was gone everyday. Then he did go to prison for 2 years. He is out now and using on and off. I am working on giving him to God. Of course that is a work in progress. Turn him over (to God) take him back, turn him over take it back etc. I know I can't Make him get sober. I don't have the money my friend who had her daughter put into a rehab against her will. I'm not sure if that would work for most addicts. We need to admit we have a problem and want help (in my opinion)
There is alanon for family of addicts or alcoholics. I know that would help you for sure. Come here too. It's good to have the convience of the online forum also.
God Bless
Love and Peace