heroin addiction

[vicki01]

why why why after almost two years , when the relationship got tough , did he resort back to the use of heroin? and when not using heroin, he thinks uppers are ok? why cant he understand he needs some other positive legal kind of help? why the drug? what could I have done?

[IrishRose]

Mandy, You can't fix him or save him. This would be like giving up your life for his. Don't be a heroin martyr. You were a smart and lucky girl to get out alive. Stay there. This is a helluva a burden for his family to lay on your shoulders but they are hurting and desparate. Nonetheless, stay away. All you can do is pray for him at this point. If there is an Alanon, Naranon or open NA meeting in your area go and arm yourself with information. Take care. IR.

[MandyX]

Hi, My X boyfriend whom I love dearly still is addited to heroin. I moved away from JHB to CT because of the way he was treating me before he used to drink excessively and emotionally abuse me to the point where I could not take it anymore. So  I moved. He claims that he then started using heroin because he cannot live without me and he wants me back he does not want to stop unless he can be with me again. He keeps on lying about using the drug and steels from his family and who knows where else to support his habbit. His dad made a case against him and had him locked up for the past week waiting trail in the attempt to get him dried out. He cannot go to one of the state rehabs cause he has to be convicted for that and then he has to go to be evaluated and assessed and he does not believe he needs it. He does not want to go there volentatry. His dad now asked me whether I will come there this Friday when he is due to get released and take him with me back here away from the area and maybe try get him into a rehab around here. But now I dont know what to do he is still the person I ran away from because of the problems we had then now it is even worse coz he has this problem on top of it. I stay in a fully furnished rented flat and all the appliances is not mine what if he starts steeling from me I am already in so much debt because of the damage he caused me when I was with him. I am not strong enough emotionally he caused me alot of pain. I still love him and I hate what is happening to him. His family is looking at me as to say that I am his last hope. I dont know what to do. He is very possessive and jealous as well and I work during the day and then I waitress at night I know he will not be happy with this and also he will want to use my car and since he smashed my last car with a car jack to the extend of R9000 damage I dont trust him with my belongings. I feel trapped do I let him come here take the gamble with my own life try and safe his will I even be able to help him I hate to think that I am his last hope and then turn my back. I am just so scared cause he has lied to me so many times and if he doesn't believe he has a problem then How am I going to fix him. help me please

[CASEY]

Please do not rescue him. I have put my son's girlfriend in the same position out of desperation and now I regret it. It only prolonged the disease. Take care of yourself and keep your distance. Other solutions will show themselves. He knows your vulerability and will use it. STAY AWAY! My son is a heroin addict also. I love him more than life itself and I wish someone else will magically rescue him but that is too much to ask. Go to alanon and save yourself. God will take care of him. Gina

[Seedling]

Hey, thanks so much for responding.  Yes I appreciate your help and no, you are not being hardassed.  I would rather "shoot from the hip" and hear the truth from someone else. I do understand what you mean by both sides of the fence.  I am recovered now from using cocaine from the age of 15 to seven years ago, now 38.  I had 2 abusinve relationships and then chose to be a single parent for the last ten and I am so grateful for being clean.  I used about 4 times a year for the 5 years before I came totally clean.  I am very much wanting to be supportive and helpful to my boyfriend, as he is a good man and someday hopefully he will come to admit he has a habit.  I know about the avoiding of family members and hiding a drug habit and I myself did not resort to the lying, cheating or stealing to get what I wanted.  Thanks for the reminder of getting on with my life and not wait for happiness as that is what I have always done in the past, and looked at each day as a new beginning.  I now go to 12 step for co-dependancy!!  I get **** from my boyfriend for rescuing or giving too much time to others.  I believe it helps and I love to give help and understanding to others.  It is rather hard when it is a family member...........thanks a bunch.  I am going to check out the alanon and Naranon.  So far he has pourchased one bottle of 200 tabs instead of 2.  That may be a sign he is trying and I've checked his hiding spots and none there.  But then again.....he may have new ones.  It is not my mission to find them, just to help him when he is ready to come to me.  In the meantime I will stay on track with myself, not being selfish, but it is what I must do.  Thanks, Irishrose

[sadness]

I agree with your advice about cutting off the son until he actually gets help. I am currently trying to clean myself up, and i know that as long as i had money, and support, i had no intentions of quitting. It's only when you hit rock bottom that you can start to pull yourself back up.  It's the hardest thing i've ever done, and i am struggling. But my family doesn't know, i would never burden them with that little bit of information, because i know that it would upset them terribly, and they won't be able to help me, i have to help myself. That's why i feel really bad for the mother of the drug addict son. I know how my mom would feel if she knew my situation, that's why i would never tell her, even if i hadn't a penny and was sick and in pain, i wouldn't tell her. But until he's better, and decides he wants a better life for himself, it's better to distance yourself so your not getting hurt (although i'm sure he'd still be on your mind)by seeing a loved one ruin their life.  All you can do is be there when they do recover, and support them and be proud that they quit.

[Seedling]

Hi, this is the first time I have really needed help to understand how my boyfriend has kicked the herion habit about 2 years ago........but takes 200 tylenol #1 with codeine every 1 1/2 weeks??  I have spoken to him many times and I myself being clean from uppers and cocaine for 12 years now, I know it is not good to badger him.  I have let him know that I am sincerely here for him to talk to.  We have an excellent relationship besides me not having any trust about his codeine use.  This is a barrier between us and the topic just gets him bothered and angry.  He keeps telling me that codeine does nothing for him.  I say that if he takes that many about 15 per day or more, than he must get high somehow.  I've even asked him if it is the physical part of just putting it in his mouth and swallowing.  He is really in denial and hides a bottle with 100 in it to go to work.  The other bottle is in the bathroom at my reach.  He constantly fills some up in the bathroom bottle from his bottle for work and makes it look as though not many are being used.  Then if I check the one he takes to work it is usually another brand, and he denies that he bought another one.  In fact I save the small bags from the pharmacy for little things, and I found a bill in it with the purchase of a 200 cap bottle for #1's.  He was quite angry (thank god not drunk) and he asked why I would be in his work bag.  I honestly told him I needed the bag to use and the bill was inside.  
I myself played the game of every excuse in the book just to hide my habit.  I am very much in love with this man and I am more worried about what affects it will have on his insides.  He experiences nose bleeds and money seems to disappear quickly and he always has an "excuse".  He keeps telling me codeine can not be an addiction.  Today I spoke with a friend that has been clean for 7 years and has just started taking tylenol #1 to get high.  I am helping her and she is starting a programme at the hospital.  I mentioned it to him and he was pretty silent.  She has only taken 6 at a time to get high, in one day.  He has an enourmous amount in his body compared to her.  She said this can hurt his liver, is that true?  We both attend a 12 step program that has kept me clean and with him he thinks as long as he doesn't use herion he is clean.  Please HELP ME UNDERSTAND AND WHAT CAN I DO FOR HIM.   He is in perfect health except he says he takes #1's for a back pain.  It seems and is true he uses more on the weekends and this is when it is not so nice to be around him as his personality changes and he verbally abuses me that he would never do not drinking.  He drank when i first met him and he was fine.  It is the #1"s and he will not talk to me about it,  thanks for any help that is available