Aa
how do i stop
hey guys!i am a 27 yr old mother of 2 and a wife of 8 years to a great man.i have been using pain killes now off and on now since 2001.it all started with tmj surgery in aug.of 2002.i quit using in november and got saved and was very dedicated to church.then in jan.of 2002 i had nasel surgery to fix a problem i had that worried me all my life .I hated my nose .so then here we go again with the pain medicene.i was taking loratab 7.5 even after i had no more pain just because i liked the way they made me feel. i grew apart from my husband after the 3rd. year we were married and was put on sveral anti depresants to enhance my sex drive to were i wanted to be with him,well they didn't work and the pain medicane did to a sense that i was able to come out of my shell and be more of myself.i guess you would say more relaxed and comfortable.he never knew i was still taking the pain pills until i was feeling so good and happy and talking my head off when i offered him one .he then threatened me and my marriage .he said he was not gonna live with a pill head and that i would get hooked if i didn't stop.well from then on i continued to use because i was very un happy and he still had no clue to my addiction
below is my continued story.i am running out of room
below is my continued story.i am running out of room
thanks so much for your response... i'm going to see my doc tomorrow @3p (and will probably be in the full swings of w/ds at that point, i have 2 left and it's only 11a Thurs!) His office called me & said he wants to see me about my arthritis, but that call was triggered cuz I requested a refill from a different pharmacy than the one last week which was filled!! I was hoping they would have just okayed the fax request from the pharmacy like they have so many times before, but i guess i kinda pushed my luck too soon this time and was busted! They called and said they would not refill my script. I really don't know what to expect when I go tomorrow, if he really will cut me off completely or if he will be willing to help be come down slowly! I'm scared to face him because i'm thinking he'll be really angry with me!! I posted a question after leaving this added on post and have had some great encouraging responses!!! I was feeling so alone, but now found the strength and support that i needed here in this wonderful forum! Thanks again and best of luck to everyone!!
Welcome! I have so been your shoes in the past hon! If you don't mind me asking what reason did the good, yeah right, doctor have to take you off the vikes? Sounds like pretty bad injury just to shut someone down like that. Could you go to him and tell him that you are having a hard time stopping? He might prescribe some meds that will help should as Catapress, valium and or Ambien that are not narcs but will take the edge off. Most of the time Doctors are better about helping poeple detox than you would realize. Keep reading the post for your answers especially the Thomas recipe. Good luck and please post so we know how you are doing! Pammy
hi... i'm new here... actually just found this site this morning, and have been reading for the past 3 hours!! Up until this point, I have felt completely alone and absolutely ashamed of the situation i've put myself in. I just want to say that reading all of your comments has been inspiring. I feel like I am barging in here but i want to (NEED TO) be a part of this as each and everyone of you seem to be so encouraging and supportive for each other...except for that guy that called greeneyedgirl a whiner and that he would tell someone to go kill themselves!! SCARY!! i don't know if i can handle response like that but I don't know what else to do, so here i am...
i've been taking lorcets (10/650) for about 5 yrs due to rheumatoid arthritis, then a car accident which resulted in 3 herniated disks in my neck. Although I started taking them for the pain, the longer i took them, the less effective they were, so, of course, i started taking more than prescribed. I now go through them like candy... 15+ per day (my prescription is for 4/day) Each time i picked up a script, i'd tell myself i'm going to keep on track... but i'm sure you all know the end of that!! I just picked up a script a week ago and am now down to 6 left! My drs office has cut me off... and i am scrambling as to what to do!! I am trying soooooo hard to not take the few i have left, finding comfort in the fact that i even HAVE them in my possession, but the w/ds are starting.... i woke up at 3:30this am with what i call "jumpy blood"... my skin was just crawling, and talk about the sweats!!! I HATE THIS!!! Can somebody pleeeeease tell me if there is an easier way to do this??? I'm soooo scared!! The question is also running through my mind: Have I committed a felony? All the scripts I have ever filled have been legitimate, written by my dr to me... i've never forged, copied or stolen a prescription pad to get the pills (although there have been desparate times when i've thought of trying to call it in myself and pretend i'm the nurse... fortunately, i know i'm not smart enough and would get caught) but the fact that i've filled them before i was due (just paid cash) is that fraud?? I'm sorry to have rambled, but please help.... (and please be kind... i'm a little nervous about all this and that's partly why my topics are jumping all over the place and don't make sense... maybe it's because my blood is jumping and i'm jittery from the beginning signs of withdrawal......
i've been taking lorcets (10/650) for about 5 yrs due to rheumatoid arthritis, then a car accident which resulted in 3 herniated disks in my neck. Although I started taking them for the pain, the longer i took them, the less effective they were, so, of course, i started taking more than prescribed. I now go through them like candy... 15+ per day (my prescription is for 4/day) Each time i picked up a script, i'd tell myself i'm going to keep on track... but i'm sure you all know the end of that!! I just picked up a script a week ago and am now down to 6 left! My drs office has cut me off... and i am scrambling as to what to do!! I am trying soooooo hard to not take the few i have left, finding comfort in the fact that i even HAVE them in my possession, but the w/ds are starting.... i woke up at 3:30this am with what i call "jumpy blood"... my skin was just crawling, and talk about the sweats!!! I HATE THIS!!! Can somebody pleeeeease tell me if there is an easier way to do this??? I'm soooo scared!! The question is also running through my mind: Have I committed a felony? All the scripts I have ever filled have been legitimate, written by my dr to me... i've never forged, copied or stolen a prescription pad to get the pills (although there have been desparate times when i've thought of trying to call it in myself and pretend i'm the nurse... fortunately, i know i'm not smart enough and would get caught) but the fact that i've filled them before i was due (just paid cash) is that fraud?? I'm sorry to have rambled, but please help.... (and please be kind... i'm a little nervous about all this and that's partly why my topics are jumping all over the place and don't make sense... maybe it's because my blood is jumping and i'm jittery from the beginning signs of withdrawal......
Hey Green Eyed, I'm glad you didn't leave the forum!!!(oxic is my other handle)
There will always be posts that "don't really work for ya"; but just use the ones that do....AND THERE ALWAYS ARE SOME OF THOSE!!
Firstly, as preserving your job is very important, can you hide behind a nasty flu(brought on by stress, thus requiring your mental health days); or any other illness you want to conjure up??
As far as the xanax goes, it is okay to use for the first few days of your detox; its just that Valium and Klonipin are longer acting benzos, therefore leaving your body slower. Many people when getting off xanax, either do an incredibly gradual taper, or switch to a longer acting benzo...then taper. Quitting abruptly has a real seizure risk(as with any benzo for that matter); or in the very least, an incerdibly nasty feeling/withdrawal. I've seen the latter occur with someone who took xanax for only a few weeks. But the use of xanax for your detox, is to simply facilitate getting you through those first, fairly intense days.
As far as the Ultram goes, a few people have used it as a transition drug, to getting off other narcotics. I HAVE NOT USED IT MYSELF; although it claims to be a non-addictive drug.....I don't know many people that have used it for any length of time, and then quit, and would say it wasn't addictive. It has an affinity for the same receptors as opiates, so it makes sense that it would be addictive!! However, again as a transition drug, to getting you to your detox, i don't see why not(SOME TRAMADOL USERS COULD ADD SOMETHING HERE)
As i said before, you are not alone Green Eyes; and we've all felt that seemingly hopeless feeling.....BUT there is hope!!!
Just keep posting, and know we are here for you.
percs
don't apologize about using space; you are worth it
There will always be posts that "don't really work for ya"; but just use the ones that do....AND THERE ALWAYS ARE SOME OF THOSE!!
Firstly, as preserving your job is very important, can you hide behind a nasty flu(brought on by stress, thus requiring your mental health days); or any other illness you want to conjure up??
As far as the xanax goes, it is okay to use for the first few days of your detox; its just that Valium and Klonipin are longer acting benzos, therefore leaving your body slower. Many people when getting off xanax, either do an incredibly gradual taper, or switch to a longer acting benzo...then taper. Quitting abruptly has a real seizure risk(as with any benzo for that matter); or in the very least, an incerdibly nasty feeling/withdrawal. I've seen the latter occur with someone who took xanax for only a few weeks. But the use of xanax for your detox, is to simply facilitate getting you through those first, fairly intense days.
As far as the Ultram goes, a few people have used it as a transition drug, to getting off other narcotics. I HAVE NOT USED IT MYSELF; although it claims to be a non-addictive drug.....I don't know many people that have used it for any length of time, and then quit, and would say it wasn't addictive. It has an affinity for the same receptors as opiates, so it makes sense that it would be addictive!! However, again as a transition drug, to getting you to your detox, i don't see why not(SOME TRAMADOL USERS COULD ADD SOMETHING HERE)
As i said before, you are not alone Green Eyes; and we've all felt that seemingly hopeless feeling.....BUT there is hope!!!
Just keep posting, and know we are here for you.
percs
don't apologize about using space; you are worth it
JUST WANTED TO POST AGAIN, SORRY IF I AM HOGGING! WANTED TO TELL YOU HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOUR KIND WORDS AND COMMENTS. OTHER THREAD WAS CLOSE SO I AM HOPING YOU WILL ALL SEE THIS. THANK YOU FOR THE RECIPE ALSO.I DONT WHERE TO BEGIN. I AM ON MY FIRST DAY OF WD AND FEEL CRAZY. IF YOU LOOK AT SOME OF THE OTHER POSTS I WROTE, MUCH HAS CHANGED SINCE THE FIRST TIME I POSTED. I AM IN A DIFFERENT PLACE TODAY(BODY AND MIND) AND AM TRYING NOT TO GET DESPERATE, AS I HAVE MADE ARRANGEMENT TO DT WITH A FAMILY MEMBER, BUT CANT LEAVE FOR TWO DAYS, AND AM THINKING THINGS I NEVER THOUGHT BEFORE. TRICKKER-HOW ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR DT?FEELING ANY BETTER YET? I MIGHT LOSE A VERY GOOD JOB BECAUSE I HAD TO ASK FOR TIME OF TO DT-WELL I TOLD THEM I JUST NEEDED A MENTAL HEALTH BREAK. THEY CAN NEVER KNOW THE REAL TRUTH.I AM SCARED TO DEATH, OF THIS PROCESS,AND I LIVE ALONE,SO DONT KNOW WHAT I WILL DO IF I GET FIRED. I LOVE MY JOB,AND HAVE NO ONE TO HELP FINANCIALLY. I JUST KNOW IF I DONT DO THIS NOW, I MIGHT NOT MAKE IT ANYWAY. I HAVE LOTS OF QUESTIONS, REGARDING SOME ULTRACET MY DOC GAVE ME, THE XANAX I GOT(COULDNT GET VALIUM) AND HOW TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE NEXT COUPLE OF DAYS UNTIL I GET TO MY DESTINATION. ALEXIS-CAN YOU TELL ME WHY IS XANAX DANGEROUS TO JUST QUIT, AND WHY IS VALUIM BETTER FOR DETOX. I DONT WANT TO JUMP FROM THE FRYING PAN INTO THE FIRE WITH THE XANAX.I AM SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT WHAT HAS HAPPENED IN YOUR LIFE(FAMILY, JOB), I HAVE HAD ALOT OF THE SAME STRESSES, AND KNOW EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE AT. THE WHOLE REASON I WENT FROM TAKING THE PILLS LIKE I SHOULD, WAS TO NUMB THE EMOTIONAL PAIN. YOUR KIND WORDS REALLY HELPED ME. ALONG WITH OXIC AND TRICCKERS.OLINS COMMENT DID TAKE ME BY SURPISE AND ALMOST STOPPED ME FROM POSTING, BUT BECAUSE OF ALL YOUR OTHER COMMENTS, I RETURNED TO SEE HOW EVERYONE WAS, AND TO LET YOU ALL KNOW THAT I AM HANGING IN THERE--BARELY. THIS AM WHEN I WOKE UP I WANTED TO GO TO THE DEPTHS OF THE CITY TO SEE IF I COULD FIND SOME VICS OR OXY, BUT KEEP TELLING MYSELF NOT TO GO THERE. WELL, DONT WANT TO HOG THE FORUM, EVEN THOUGH I WOULD GIVE MY LEFT LEG FOR SOMEONE TO TALK TO..THANK YOU TO EVERYONE, AND YOU ARE ALL IN MY PRAYERS. HOPE TO HEAR HOW ALL OF YOU ARE DOING SOON....CANT TELL YOU HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE YOU---
don't know about everyone else but, just reading the post from everyone sure makes me fell like i'm not completely alone in this war..
All of you show such strength and are so helpfull. So glad i came across this site! As Ozzy would say, "I love you all"!!
Rock on-
Kevin
All of you show such strength and are so helpfull. So glad i came across this site! As Ozzy would say, "I love you all"!!
Rock on-
Kevin
thank you for responding. I began like many here after I had surgery for a ruptured disc in my neck. I've been taking 12-15 hydro's (10/400) per day off and on for several years. It's a miracle I still have a liver! My situation does not seem as dire as some previous post I've read and yet I have felt the utter hopelessness of it all! I have a wonderful life, a wonderful husband that has no idea how much of these pills I take. I think he would be devestated! I have managed to hide my "little problem" for quite some time. Now I know--How do you make a left turn?--JUST DO IT--RIGHT? There are so many kind and caring people here. Thanks just for listening, it feels good to just get it all out!
welcome, read as many of the post as you can.
ask questions.
let us know how long and how much and what you have been taking.
there is a way out you just have to begin.
some aske me how do i stop.
i said to them how do you make a left turn.
peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hippy
ask questions.
let us know how long and how much and what you have been taking.
there is a way out you just have to begin.
some aske me how do i stop.
i said to them how do you make a left turn.
peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hippy
How do you reclaim your life after these little white pills have totally consumed your very being? It's like I have to learn to live all over again. I'm scared and this forum seems like my only hope. I've done a masterful job at concealing my "dirty little secret", and I feel very alone. Some advice is urgently needed. Thank You
just want to say hello,
hope you are doing well.
hope everything is groovy.
ya know what ever happened
months ago i seemed to have missed
the whole thing.
must have been real busy those
few weeks.
anyway
peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hippy
hope you are doing well.
hope everything is groovy.
ya know what ever happened
months ago i seemed to have missed
the whole thing.
must have been real busy those
few weeks.
anyway
peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hippy
This is a good read: http://alcoholism.about.com/library/weekly/aa010115a.htm
To this date, Dr. Gooberman has had his license revoked as the article is prior to that happening.
To this date, Dr. Gooberman has had his license revoked as the article is prior to that happening.
I have to agree with you Thomas. We're not rabid....
Animal, huh? I float like a butterfly and sting like a bee.
http://www.suboxone.com
Animal, huh? I float like a butterfly and sting like a bee.
http://www.suboxone.com
WELL EVERYONE TODAY I MADE A DECISION.I CALLED THE DETOX CENTER AND GOT SOME INFO ON RAPID DETOX.THEY SAID THAT IT WAS AVAILABLE AND IT WOULD LAST 4-5 DAYS AND THE 4TH DAY BEING THE WORST.THEY WERE ALL VERY UNDERSTANDING AND HELPFUL.THEY TOLD ME THAT THEY WOULD PUT ME ON SOMETHING THAT STARTED WITH A "C" AND SOMETHING ELSE TO KEEP ME FROM HAVING SEZIURES AND SO FORTH,THEN FOLLOWED BY THE AMOIDIUM AD .I HAVE ALREADY GOT MY THINGS PACKED BUT I FIND THAT I AM HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS.I TOLD ALL OF MY FAMILY AND OFCOURSE THEY WERE SHOCKED BECAUSE THEY ALL THOUGHT I ALREADY KICKED THE HABIT.I JUST LOOKED AT THE THOMPSON RECIPIE AND IT SEEMED AS IF IT WOULD BE BASICALLY WHAT DETOX WILL BE DOING FOR ME.I HAVE ALREADY TOLD MY BOSS THAT I WILL BE OUT SAT-THURS POSSIBALY LONGER DEPENDING ON HOW I FEEL I GUESS I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT SOME OF YOU GUYS OPINIONS ARE ABOUT THIS.SHOULD I GO AND DO THE DAMN THING OR DO THIS AT HOME? I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE TO FIND VALIUM ANY WAY.BUT I WAS MAYBE THINKING I COULD WEAN MYSELF BY GOING FROM 8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1, I HAVE ENOUGH PILLS LEFT TO DO THAT AND MAYBE MY WITHDRAWLS WON'T BE BAD AT ALL.ITS ALOT LIKE WEANING OFF OF ANTI-DEPRESSANTS BREAKING IT DOWN UNTI ITS GONE.GOD I WANT TO DO THE RIGHT THING I HAVE BEEN PRAYING FOR STRENGTH TO GET THROUGH THIS AND I HAVE BEEN THINKING OF HOW GOOD IT IS GONNA BE TO BE ME AGAIN.I HAVE NEVER LOVED MYSELF AND THE PILLS MADE A GOOD COVER UP BUT NOW ITS NOT WORKING AND I AM BEGINNING TO HERE "LAURA" CALL FOR HER LIFE BACK.THANKS TO ALL OF YOU FOR LISTENING AND RESPONDING.I KNOW WE WILL ALL GET THROUGH THIS.THERE IS A STRONGER ADDITION WAITING FOR US AND THAT IS GOD.HE IS OUR ONLY HOPE.PLEASE GET BACK TO ME WEATHER IT BE AN EMAIL OR POST .I WILL BE ON TILL 12:00 TONIGHT AND THEN I WILL CHECK AGAIN BEFORE I LEAVE FOR WORK..if i decide to detox it will be around this time tommorrow nightthat i will begin so when i return i will be on my way to recovery..love all of you !!! laura:(
I can relate regarding the hubby. My husband is a pill hater, so if he knew the trouble I am in, I am sure, no, I am positive, that although he would not leave me, I would never hear the end of it. I also feel that if I go to him with this horrible problem of mine, he could use it against me if we do divorce (not a very happy marriage, to say the least). My husband loves to preach to me and scream, so how do you go to someone about that when you know what will happen if you do? I'm screwed and I know it. The comments you will hear from others on these sites will help you incredibly. You will feel stronger each day, like me, but it's so hard to get the monkey off your back. I can only relate to your story, as mine is pretty much the same. I am addicted to Ultram because of fibromyalgia and headaches related to that. I am 37, with three children and a full time job, plus other related problems, so I totally relate to you. I wish I could help you more, but I can only say I know exactly how you feel. The pills make you feel better about yourself and help you cope with your day to day life, right?
Hello everyone. I've only posted here once..I've had my surgury.
Doc had me on ms cotin, after surgury (2 weeks ago tomorrow)he added vicodin for break thru pain. So i've quit it all. Had none yesterday. I do have the patch.The patch helps, I still felt rough. No sleep last night or today. So I called my doc this evening and he called me in some Zanaflex. He said to take 1 or 2 three times a day. So I took 1 about 6pm and slept until about 30 minutes ago..Starting to feel human ago..The is Day 2 of HELL WEEK.....He also told me to take nyquil at night to sleep...Has anyone taken zanaflex before for w/d's. Hope everone is hanging in there.
mrmichael, sorry I have'nt talk to you, I've been trying to recope and my grandfather died last week (he raised me)..
but all will get better. hope all is well with you..
Doc had me on ms cotin, after surgury (2 weeks ago tomorrow)he added vicodin for break thru pain. So i've quit it all. Had none yesterday. I do have the patch.The patch helps, I still felt rough. No sleep last night or today. So I called my doc this evening and he called me in some Zanaflex. He said to take 1 or 2 three times a day. So I took 1 about 6pm and slept until about 30 minutes ago..Starting to feel human ago..The is Day 2 of HELL WEEK.....He also told me to take nyquil at night to sleep...Has anyone taken zanaflex before for w/d's. Hope everone is hanging in there.
mrmichael, sorry I have'nt talk to you, I've been trying to recope and my grandfather died last week (he raised me)..
but all will get better. hope all is well with you..
I was reading the post about suboxone. First of all let me say how suspicious and downright resentful of the government and the entire chemical dependence "treatment" industry I have become over the last 25 years. I too have heard the same rumors about "the list". Like minime, I have not been able to find evidence of it's existence or lack of existence. I would not put it past our government to make such a list. I did question an addiction doctor about such a list and he claims that he knows nothing about it.
At this point, I prefer to use a mail order pain and addiction doctor to get pure buprenorphine. What this particular clinic is doing is barely legal so I doubt very much that they are keeping lists of anything. I like this company. They couldn't give a **** me, all they want is money. I send them the funds and they sent the drugs. I prefer this level of honesty compared to the 25 years of deception, greed and red tape in the guise of helping that rabid animal that society calls the addict.
At this point, I prefer to use a mail order pain and addiction doctor to get pure buprenorphine. What this particular clinic is doing is barely legal so I doubt very much that they are keeping lists of anything. I like this company. They couldn't give a **** me, all they want is money. I send them the funds and they sent the drugs. I prefer this level of honesty compared to the 25 years of deception, greed and red tape in the guise of helping that rabid animal that society calls the addict.
I just read your first post.... Although I'm not married I can relate somewhat.
I was using for not that long at all , but long enough that my WD symptoms were evident and I came clean with the whole story to my girlfriend. This is the woman I am going to be with , she is absolutely amazing. No stupid PILL is worth anything CLOSE to what she is worth to me... I have a great life with her, and my family , and other extra activites I love to do. It is just a no brainer. Who would think after using them for less than one month at only about 3 a day I would have these herendous WD symptoms? The good news is, the symptoms will go away and it will all be out of your system and you will appreciate it so much ... What's important is to have somewhere there with you (your husband) who will hopefully be supportive and help you through .. It is a tough period of time to get through , but oh my god is it worth it...
Please try hard to stop , and when your body hurts so bad and you want more, don't even look at it as an option.. You'll literally be wasting your life away.
I was using for not that long at all , but long enough that my WD symptoms were evident and I came clean with the whole story to my girlfriend. This is the woman I am going to be with , she is absolutely amazing. No stupid PILL is worth anything CLOSE to what she is worth to me... I have a great life with her, and my family , and other extra activites I love to do. It is just a no brainer. Who would think after using them for less than one month at only about 3 a day I would have these herendous WD symptoms? The good news is, the symptoms will go away and it will all be out of your system and you will appreciate it so much ... What's important is to have somewhere there with you (your husband) who will hopefully be supportive and help you through .. It is a tough period of time to get through , but oh my god is it worth it...
Please try hard to stop , and when your body hurts so bad and you want more, don't even look at it as an option.. You'll literally be wasting your life away.
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