adderall forever?

[misse]

I am 23 years old and have been perscribed some form of medication for adhd since I was 16.  I am now perscribed 20mg of adderall twice a day, though i rarely take more than 15-20 mg a day unless I have an exam etc. Although I do not take that much, I started to feel this year the definate need to take some EVERY day.  Without it I sometimes can't get out of bed on the weekend.  I limit my dose so to keep my 'addiction' at a minimum, but my question is is this really bad for me?  Am i definatly addicted? I have read about modafinil and am wondering when they will allow the general public to use it- would like to switch to a less addicting drug.  Does anyone know the long term affects of consistanct adderall use?  Please let me know if i should be worried or if this is normal- thanks a lot.

[confused.grl]

My boyfeind was recently diagnosed with narcolepsy (about 4 months ago). He is currently taking modafinil 200mg 2x a day.
I heard that this medicine is supposed to be non-addictive, well i think that is a crock. Since he started using this medicine i dont know him anymore (i have been with him 6 years and we have 2 girls together) he stays up all night for 2 weeks after he fills his medicine, dosent go to work or anything, then after his medicine runs out he is an ass----. I am ready to leave and take the kids. Think twice about swithcing.
                                   P.S. he is also talking about                
                                   crushing and snorting.

[ucsjpa]

I just was underwent rapid detox at the Waissman institute 9 days ago.  I was taking about 400 mg's of OXY mostly snorted.  I was wildly hooked on Oxy and nose spray.  The recovery after rapid detox is challenging. No pain but you must allow yourself the freedom to let everything in your house to hell because you will not have the energy to do much.  I have had one decent day in the past 9 and I feel pretty good today.  For anyone considering Rapid detox the Waissman people are wonderful and the method was originally developed by Dr. Andre Waissman for Morphine addicts in Israel.  The injuries and stress of war created lots of addicts. He combined his knowledge of medicine and anesthesia to flush your opiod receptors with naltrexone and replace the oxy in them while you are asleep for about 4 to 6 hours.  When you wake up your are weak but about 24 hours later yoo walk out the door...narcotic free.  I am a 50 year old successful business man and in day 9.  My guess is that I still have a couple more weeks to go to be all better.  Its like two steps forward, one step back but the trendline is up.  I origianly took oxy because it made my work fun....but then of course I took more and more just to survive and received none of the original pleasure.  I was just about to start taking adderal to see if it would be less addicting and helpme concentrate but after reading the forum ...forget it....caffeine is the worst thing I am going to attempt...thanks for the insight.  Waismanns methods produces a greater than 70% success rate....there method is a little different than other rapid detox centers.  Yea its $10,000.  but 400 mgs of oxy was $12,000. per month.  All you people who think its too expensive do the math.  I actually think my insurance would have paid, but i wanted to stay anon and could afford it.  Good luck to anyone struggling with any addiction.  By the By, I am taking naltrexone and I swear it is contributing to my fatigue....any comment on that?

jp

[Bluhen]

Hello everyone.  Five days no OC.  I only took one tab today. It was hard, but I am trying to keep the number down as low as I can.  I feel pretty good.  I feel all edgy and I keep getting a slight pain in the chest.  Is this a normal wd?  I went to the Dr. today.  She was weird.  She told me that she would not prescribe any more opiates to me until I talked with a counseler or shrink.  Okay?  I set the appointment with a fellow that is associated with her practice.  I also told her that its was fine because I do not want anymore opiates.  Shge acted surprised wen I tld her I didn't even want the tabs.  We talked breifly and she suggested that I start on Ultracet.  She also worte a script for a patch to help with the wd's.  I looked up the ultracet and read that it is not reccommend to folks who have opiate issues.  I talked breifly with the Dr.  I am to meet with on the 20th about this and he said we would address this then.  I really feel proud that I hae taken these steps to get off the pain medicine.  It seems like since college Dr.'s have been giving me pills for pain as if that was the answer.  I fear the first really bad pain day I have and I do not have the pain killers to turn to.  I hope I can find a way to treat my issues without putting myself in a situation that will get me back to where I was at 5 days ago. It is really wierd how the mind craves and the body hurts when you stop taking these little monsters.  Well, I hope tonights sleep is better than the past few.  The sweats are really bad.  I am still soaking the bed and waking up freezing.  I will be so glad once this ordeal is over.  I am glad I found this this site to write in.  It really makes me feel better to express the way I am feeling during this time.

[Bluhen]

Well thanks for the support.  I am still OC clean and feeling better.  In fact, I actually made through work today.  That is a big step.  Still, I have been taking the tabs, but I am doing my best to keep to the directed dosage.  I am starting to feel why I got on the OC's in the first place.  My neck is killing me, but the tabs are helping.  Tomorrow is the big day.  I really don't know what to say to the Dr.  I think I hear what I need to do.  First, I need to tell her about the real pain I do have.  I do need something, but the OC's are just not for me.  I know how many I should be taking each day, but I just can stop myself from taking one or two more throughout the day.  I would say to myself I will take this second one now and hold off on another until tomorrow, but I wouldn't wait until the next day.  I think I started getting in trouble when I started cutting them in half to make them last longer, but that just makes it all hit you at once and then 1 - 2 hours later you want more.  I am going to also tell her that I was really sick Friday and her nurse treated me bad.  I know it is probaly something they deal with quiet a bit, but I didn't want a re-fill of the OC.  I only needed something to help me through the W/D's.  I don't understand why or how I got to this point.  I have always been strong minded, but this medicine is different.  It really is something that needs to be in more of a controlled enviroment that I can provide.  I hope the Dr. will be there for me.  If not, then like you guys said find someone new.  She does work for me!   I would like to thank each of you for your support.  It has really helped.  I know what you mean about the emotional effect these things play on you.  I have been tearing up off and on all day.  I keep thinking of so many different things and how this medicine has controled me and how much it has changed me over the past year and it tears me up inside.  I feel really good about quitting the use of this med. and I am really looking forward to getting my life back in order.  Well, lets go workout.  Be good, be strong, and stay true to yourself.  We all have the will to change once we want to do it.

[Bluhen]

Well, I am still trying my best to not go looking for OC's from a couple of hook ups.  The withdrawals are still coming and going.  I finally got a decent night sleep - I only woke up with the sweats only one time.  My body really hurts this morning.  I think it is a combonation of the withdrawals and the real issues I have with pain.  I have been using the tab step down and I think it has helped with the withdrawals, but what about when the tabs are gone.  By the way, once you use the OC the tabs just don't give you the refeil they once did.  I have been trying to focus my time on finding ways to get back to the person I use to be. I have gained a good bit of weight since being on the OC.  I think they really turned me into a couch potato.  I am going to start a new workout program tomorrow and try to get back into conditioning if my body will let me.  No, I am going to do it - I will deal with the pain.  I think getting back in shape will help me with my real pain in the long run.  Thanks Phaedrus for the support.  I really need it.  This has been realy hard.  I am so nervos about my Dr. appointment on Tuesday.  How will the Dr. react?  I hope she understands the situation - like you said there is a very thin line and I still don't know how I crossed it.  Hell, we know, but will the Dr. understand?

[abusa]

I don't know your precise situation but I think  i have been exactly where you are. I was snorting 40 oxys sometimes 8 times a day!1!! I had so many emotional outrages i almost killed myself. You need to talk to your doctor on the emergency pager and the first thing you need to do is be manipulative. I am 19, a girl, and after 5 times of doing this to a very strict doc she wouldn't anymore. I had to stop cold turkey for three days from taking who knows how many oxy mlgs from the snorting. Probably over 1000!! I should be dead and sometimes i wish , actually most of the time i wish i was b/c now they are denying me pain meds from my abuse. I have fibromylgia , scheuermann's disease, and degeneratie disk disease. Basically i'm ******. my pain is a 8 right now and i feel like ringing someone's neck. I went to the pain management at mayo clinic and learned a lot of things that help me for about 10 minutes then I have to do something again. It was so easy at  the mayo being around supportive people with the same pain problems.

BBUUUUTTTT ,,, i have high hopes that a doc i'm seeing will switch me to the duralesgic patch b/c i can't take pills, especially oxycontin, they are way to controlling, they became my only friend. If your doctor won't prescribe you something else, ask to see a new one, b/c you need someone who understands addiction, oxys can cause mental pain and anguish, and the physical part is definitely being threatened by the one and only  you. If all else fails, go to the ER and get clonodine, I can't believe how much it helped me. it's a blood pressure med that isn't addictive and works as an anequedote to w/ drawals. Sometimes you do need to lie to get through things like this. But after you get through it , and you willll, then lying to other docs is lying to yourself.

Sweetheart.. i know how you feel , you want to kill the doc yet she's your only hope, I am an expert on pain and chemical dependency although i don't always follow  or control myself. Physicians get into trouble like us all the time. I talked to a doc that shot up on oxys that's how terribly addicting they are.

Doctor's learn abot 3 hours on addiction in med school. I just had more than about 150 hours. It is something that needs to be treated and understood by your doc. If she doesn't call you back than find a new doctor and get on the patch. those little orange pills will never stop wanting to go up straight to your brain
love katherine- live in southern cali.

[skipper]

bluhen:

first of all welcome to the forum! there is always room for one
more addict, so come on in!

i must say your post really struck a cord with me. i was a junky
for almost 20 years. i couldn't put my hands on enough heroin, morphine, dilaudid..... then i cleaned up my hand. i was opiate free for 17 years. about the time i decided i had a chance at a "normal life," an old injury to my neck came back (with a vengence) to haunt me. in the space of two years i had 2 major cervical spine surgerys. after the last surgery, my neuro-surgeon informed me that the fusion redo had healed to the point where my spine was stable & and there was nothing more he could do for me. i guess my pain is intractable. my pain doc has me on 40mg of oxycontin 3 times a day.now if this could have happened back in my oilburning-shoot all the junk you can get a hold of days... i'ld probably would have been as pleased as a pig in the poke. as it is now, and not then,things are quite a bit different. you
know, taking these little pills the way the doctor says i'm sup-
posed to, it's one of the most difficult tasks i've ever had to
do!


i periodacly will detox for 1-2 weeks. there are a number of
reasions i do this. the main one is to find out where my pain
levels are at. i will not give up hope, that someday i will be
able to live without these little pills. i, and other people who
post here refer to this as a "vacation from drugs." i've found
that using Thomas's detox recipe to be very effective and help-
ful in detoxing. be careful with the benzo's. i never take them
for an longer than 10 days, and most times i only do 7.

there is a component of extream emotional pain withdrawing from
oxycontin. i've never expierence anything like it in all the      
years i've abused opiates. the actul physical withdrawl is really
not too bad, but the emotional pain is like being cut in half
with a very dull buzz saw!

there is a way through everything you have expierenced with a w/d
from oxycontin. i'm usually feel pretty much myself after 7-10
days. i post at this site quite regularly and i hope to see you
do so also. i think you will find an abundence of people who will
be willing to share their expierenc and their emotional support!

keep an angel on your shoulder
kip

[Phaedrus]

Just be honest and let the cards fall where they may...there are other treatment centers out there who will help you if your doctor won't.  The center for substance abuse treatment comes highly recommended and below is a link to a locator for a center near you...don't worry about the cost, just think of all the dough you've spent on the oxy's.
http://www.samhsa.gov/centers/csat/csat.html
Also, when you get back to working out, I'd highly recommend yoga.  I know, it sounds candy-assed, but the older we get the more we need stretching and the less we need the bench press...and you'll be surprised at how hard your muscles do work if you get the right instructor...finally, there can be a spiritual component that I find very comforting in my struggle...I meditate on my recovery...hey, it's worth a shot?

[Phaedrus]

I hear ya, man...those little bastards are evil!  I have dreams about them.  
Don't be too pissed about your doc...understand that oxy is getting a lot of bad press and everyone's nervous...just continue to be honest and to reach out for help.
I've read on other posts that Klonidine(sp?) helps some people with the w/d's, so you may ask about that.  Also, valium will help you get some sleep.
I'm in the same situation as you with the pain...I know where you're coming from...oxy is a great drug that can help you live a normal life with debilitating pain; however, you can't let the pills cause more pain in other ways...it's a very fine line and many of us cross over.
Keep coming back.

[Bluhen]

Hello.  I have been reading from this site all day trying to deal with the withdrawals from the Oxycontin.  I am an ex-football and now that I am getting a little older I have so much Pain  kneck, knees, hips, shoulders, hands.  I had to have lower back surgery in 1998 and since then I have been mostly on Loratab until the Othro. refered me to this Paim Management Doctor last year.  The new Dr. said she thought the 6 to 10 10 mg tabs I was taking a day was too much so she started me on 10 mg oxycontin.  This is were my problem seems to have began last year.  Dring this time I have gone form the 10 mg x 2/day to 20 mg x 2/day to 40 mg x 2/day.  Everything seem okay until I started the 40 mg OC.  Then it was like my body couldn't get enough.  I am prescribed 60 40 mg OC's a month and over the past 2 months I have gone through these in two weeks after each refill. I know I am taking more than the dosage call for, but I can't stop myself  I made the huge mistake of crushing some and even snorting them.  I ran out of these on Thrsday. I have been having all of the symptoms I keep reading about on this site.  Eventhough I haven't been using for as long as some I stil feel very sick.  Today I got up the courage and called the Dr. office to ask for help.  The treated me really bad.  I tried my best to be honest and explian the control these pills have and that I know I am taking too much, but I can't stop.  I told them I wasn't calling for a re-fill (This is what they keep implying). I tried to get them to understand that I need something to wing me off of these pills.  I do have real pain and it is already rearing its ugly head.  I never was able to speak to the Dr. today only the nurse.  After she yelled at me and I contined to try to get her to listen she gave me a Loratab step down script.  I went immedately and got these pills, but they still aren't masking the OC withdrawl.  It's 2:40am and I just woke up again, the bed soaked with sweat wnd me shivering.  I have got to get off of the OC's.  I have an appointment with the Dr. on 2/5/02, that has been scheduled for some time now.  I am really scared of how she is going to react, but I need something for the real pain I have.  I took loratabs for a couple of years and never found myself absuing them or being sick like I a now when I would run out, but I don't think getting head over hills on tabs is the answer either. The OC just makes you feel so good.  I don't know if there are non addictive pain medicines are not.  I am taking a step to get my life back and stop letting these little pills control my being.  I am tired of always thinking about my pill bottle and when I should do another.  I am glad I found this site.  It really has given me an idea of what is going on and makes me feel like I am not the total loser I was feeling I was by knowing that this is happenig to so many.  I hope the Dr. understands what I am trying to do and how I got myself in this situation.  Hell, I'm not sure how I got into this situation, but I want out and never wish to return.

[AnnieS]

I've been out of comission for awhile but I'm still here. I was wondering how and what you have been doing. It sounds like you're doing ok which is wonderful.I hope everyone is ok. I'm going through seperation anxiety. God it's so hard. I left last week and I saw him the other day and he's worse. i guess you have to hit bottom. He has a tendancy of having a very LOW bottom. That's the scary part. Everyone think positive and remember how good life was without drugs.............without that grip, paronoia, financial crisis etc., etc., etc. That's what keeps me going. I ache for those still in the grips....one day at a time is the old cliche but it's true. Peace and Love, Annie

[OxyDout]

adderall is a psychologically addictive drug but don't let anyone fool you, its very much a physically addicting drug, people like myself go from snorting oc's (oxycontin) to snorting or eating ridilan to get us away from withdrawal.  Well atleast that is what I did before, but now although I'm not always 100% clean, I have been doing extemely well for the last 6-7 weeks.  I post here often, so please post and let the others who are more experienced tell you what they think.  If your worried about being addicted then you already are, so that means you need to find another drug, trust me, as good as it feels, the negatives outweight the positives...wait....there are NO POSITIVES TO BEING A DRUG ADDICT, "everthing that goes up most come down" I don't want this to sound too negative, I know your just curious.  As far as physical injury, I don't think you should worry, but I would be worried about the path in life of which you take, its tough, its real tough, I used to take 160mg of oxycontin a day, and I have a friend who just recently stopped taking about 500 mg of oxy a day!!!!!!!!!!no joke, if he did it anyone can, he may make it, he may not, the point is, he got past the physical withdrawal.  I don't think any of this is in regards to your question, but what I'm trying to say is, the way in which you sked the question, I think you are addicted and you should stear away from it, let me know what you think.  

P.S _ hey skip, ww, j.b telby, eveyrone......how are you!!!