methadone withdrawal

[hambrick]

I am on methadone for chronic pain. My neurologist, dr. Virginia Pact, MD has sold her practice and she really knows very little about how to withdraw someone from methadone anyway. I use to be on 15 mg daily and I took myself down very slowly from that dose to about 7 1/2 daily about a year ago. I was afraid to go all the way down in case my pain became severe again. I got the withdrawal information from the local methadone clinic at that time. (My doctor thought I should just stop taking the dose...very bad idea.)
I am now attempting to get completely off methadone but have no idea how to titrate down without experiencing severe symptoms. Since this dose is so low, what I am doing is shaving (pills are very tiny) about what I think is 1mg from my daily dose. I started this on Thursday and as of this writing I have diarrhea, headache, back pain has increased with muscle pain and general malaise. My plan was to go down by 1mg daily until I was finished, but I am not certain this is a good idea. I am employed full time and do not want to miss work as a result of this so it is important to keep my symptoms to a minimum. What would you suggest? I hope to hear form you very soon. Thank you very much.

***@****

[Thomas]

I'm glad you're getting some relief from the usual narco withdrawal routine, but I feel obligated to mention this:

I have included a link to a web site dedicated to L-Tyrosine that recommends L-Tyrosine be avoided if you're taking a serotonin re-uptake inhibitor (SSRI). I believe Zoloft is an SSRI. I will give you the link and leave it up to you what to do since it seems to be working so well for you anyway ...

http://www.mindfixers.com/tyrosine.html

Thomas

[Thomas]

Here's my re-print for the inth time of my cold turkey recipe for coping with narco withdrawal. You may benefit from just getting some brand name Immodium and stopping the runs. The runs leads to dehydration very quickly, which could be conributing to your general malaise. Check out the L-Tyrosine and B6, too. That stuff works on non-junkies as well! Good luck.

Thomas

Here's my tried-and-true do-it-yourself "cold turkey" detox protocol.

Supplies you'll need first:

As many Valium, Xanax, Librium or Klonopin as you can get your hands on.

--- first day off the opiate, use enough Valium or whatever, to, if possible, sleep through most of the first couple days. Then start decreasing the dose until you're down to nothing in about 5 or 6 days. You'll have to do the math. The Valium or one of its sister drugs will help tremendously with the anxiety and, somewhat, with the body aches. Valium may make you eat like a pig and, when withdrawing from narcotics, one usually craves sweets, so I'd be ready to indulge myself, along with some good escapist movies. That always worked for me.

Around-the-clock access to either hot baths or a Jacuzzi.

--speaking of those goddamn mostly thigh cramps that seem to love to show up in the middle of the night, have that hot bath or Jacuzzi at the ready. Don't hesitate to spend the majority of the week in that hot water if that's what it takes to get you through it. You may be wrinkled, but you'll have your sanity. Don't underestimate what the hot baths can do to relieve the withdrawal discomfort. They really work. Heating pads between the thighs can help with those cramps, too, but not as much as the hot baths.

Brand-name-only Imodium (over the counter at the supermarket)

-- if you're a normal hydro addict, you'll be getting the runs by no later than the second or third day off the lorcet. In my experience, it's an especially unpleasant variety. At the first impulse, take two or three and respond to returning urges with two tabs. It's important that you do it immediately.

L-Tyrosine (qty 50 of the 500mg caps) - an amino acid available at the health food store.

chronic use of narcotics depletes the brain of several critical neurotransmitters responsible for well-being and mental performance and attitude.
Plus:
Bottle of 100 mg B6 caps

My experience detoxing with this stuff says take 4000 (four thousand) mg. (8x500mg caps of L-Tyrosine) with two 100mg B6 caps every day for your "detox week" to provide your brain with the raw material it needs to replenish its stores of these neurotransmitters. Many feel the difference on the very first dose. ***Take it on an empty stomach, either first thing in the morning or at bedtime. You can continue this regimen after the first week if it continues to make you feel good. I continue to use it every other day with very few exceptions. After a few weeks, I cut down on the dosage, though, as it can cause the runs at high doses.

Multi-vitamins (most junkies don't eat too well, so this one's just for good sense).

Take a look at this link. According to this doc, you also need to add copper, phosphorus and Vitamin C to complete the dopamine, norepinephrine. You might have to do some hunting at the health food store to find the right vitamin or vitamins to supply all this stuff. I got a pretty good result from just the L-Tyrosine and B6, however.

I also understand from another contributor that zinc and magnesium help replenish and restore vital substances depleted by narcotics use.

Here's a link dedicated to L-Tyrosine ...

http://www.mindfixers.com/pathway1.html

WARNING: This same site says to avoid L-Tyrosine if you're on an SSRI (serotonin reuptake inhibitor) such as Prozac, etc.

[niccee]

You are doing better than me. I am on MMT. I started out at 80mgs. I have been dosing down until now I am at 20mgs. I am going to go to 10mgs Monday. According to my clinic you are doing it right. They recommend 1mg a week. That still may be to much for you. If you can, you may want to do 1mg every two weeks or even longer. I tried to do this 2 months ago and had to go back up to 40-30 mgs after I had got down to 5 mgs because of the withdrawl symptoms. This time around so far has been much better. I pray to God that it will continue so. The only thing I am doing different is I started taking the supplements that Thomas and a guy named pillpoppa recommend. To be honest and not disrespectful I thought they were nuts, but had nothing to lose. Guess what I was the nutty one. I have had a very minimmum of withdraw so far. This was the only thing I did different. I take a multi vitamin, zinc, magnesium, L-tyrosine, B-complex vitamin (you can just take the B-6, but B-complex has vitamin C in it.)
Thomas has also recommended some others, but I am having trouble finding some of them. I think they are copper, phosphorus and vitamin C. I also take an antidepressant Zoloft, but was taking that before also. I hope this helps. Look through the post to get the exact amounts. I don't remember them exactly. Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing.
To Thomas and Pillpappa. I want to thank you again. I truly believe this has made all the difference. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

[Witchywoman]

I will second the information that the supplements make withdrawal a whole lot easier.

I started first with Thomas's recommendation, the L-Tyrosine and the B-6. I noticed less psychological craving for the meds.
When I added the large ammounts of zinc and magnesium, I noticed that I no longer got withdrawals 7 hours after my last dose of hydrocodone.  I will say though, it takes a huge ammount of zinc for me.  I am taking 120 mgs of zinc four times a day, the capsules I take have zinc, magnesium, calcium and manganese. I take a seperate zinc tab with them, since the capsule itself only has 22mgs zinc, I add a 100mg zinc tablet with it.  I took this for a week before I noticed any difference.

According to Thomas, the L-Tyrosine helps your body start to be able to make its own dopamine again. And Pillpoppa said that the opiates create a zinc deficiency, and that supplementing with zinc and maganese and magnesium can let you go off with no withdrawals at all. I am not sure if this is true, as I am still taking my meds for pain, so don't know what would happen physically if I stopped completely, but I can attest to the fact that I can go a long time in between doses with no withdrawals, whereas before the zinc and L-Tyrosine, I would get withdrawals (sweating, chills, anxiety) after 6 to 7 hours.

Last week I went from 3pm to 9 am between doses, no sweating, no chills, no craving..but I did have a little bit of diarhea. You might want to try brand name Immodium for the diarhea.

good luck!

[Francoise]

There should be a civic award for assisting people get off opiates, and you my friend should be its first recipient.

How are you doing?

Francois

[niccee]

Thanks so much for caring and sharing. I talked to my docotr about taking the supplements and he said it was okay. So I am going to continue on because it has been a miracle for me. I am still shocked at how much a difference it made. Thanks again.

[CannabisDave]

CHINESE HERBS and ACCUPUNCTURE seem to be two of the best ways to treat withdrawal syndrome, and the long-term "post accute withdrawal syndrome" (or "abstinance syndrome"). Methadone has a long-term post accute withdrawal period - sometimes it NEVER goes away. I've heard of people getting off of methdone for a few years, and after being miserable the whole time they get back on methadone - why be miserable when a medication allows you to feel "normal" again? When I read about people putting themselves through torture to get off methadone (or other opioids), I wonder why they are doing it. Methadone in smaller split doses has no bad side effects, but when I have to dose once daily at a clinic I need considerably more methadone to "hold" me for 24hrs. until my next dose (back at the clinic EVERY DAY), and then I suffer from constipation, depression, no libido, etc. That is what "they" are doing to me if I have to go back to a methdone clinic again. If I do need methadone the rest of my life I'm not too concerned - unless I have to go to a methadone clinic again! The only thing that makes being on methadone so bad is the "stigma" against it which is based on ignorance, and the fact that methadone is a very difficult to obtain medication which is only available at HORRIBLE methadone clinics (and a few pain clinics).  I respect "Dr. Steve's" advice, but sometimes other "addiction specialists" are completely ignorant about addiction treatment - especially when they are attached to methadone clinics! The doctors at the methadone clinics I went to were dangerously ignorant, and many people died because of it. I went to methadone clinics for about five years, and they all made my life hell - the "staff" there who forcibly detoxed me (or summarily dicharged me) were not trained medical professionals, yet they told the doctor what my dose would be and the doctor would sign-off on anything they told him. Unfortunately for me, they were sadistic control freaks, so I ended-up without my life-sustaining methadone again and again (I had to use heroin a few times). I could never even think about getting off methadone while dosing just once daily at a clinic, but after my doctor began prescribing the methadone pills for me a year ago I was able to titrate my dose down to just one 10mg. tablet twice a day - I went from 60mg. a day last year when I got summarily discharged from a methadone clinic (yet again), to just 20mg. daily now. Unfortunately, my doctor has been threatened for prescribing methadone since he isn't a pain specialist, so he switched us methadone taking patients to oxycontin (I made it clear to him that he was treating me for chronic PAIN and not ADDICTION, because I know that isn't legal). Now my only hope is a pain treatment clinic, and if they won't prescribe methadone for me there, then I'll have to detox off of oxycontin from my doctor (he is allowed to give me oxycontin or hydromorphone etc., but not methadone!). Going to a methadone clinic again would mean being a "prisoner-client" forced to take a huge dose of methadone to hold me 24hours. Another problem for me at a methadone clinic is that they are discharging people mearly for using marijuana, and I'm a medical marijuana patient. I'm also using marijuana to help me get off of methadone, but they won't allow me to continue using pot if I'm dosing at a clinic. I think kicking people off a methadone program for using pot is completely irrational, and when they are a medical marijuana patient it's even more irrational, but they are doing it anyway!  Re: oxycontin - I find that taking them as prescribed keeps me fairly stable, but the side-effects seem much worse than methadone so far...I'm probably suffering a bit from methadone withdrawal since I suddenly switched medications (methadone to oxycontin), but fortunatly I still have a few methadone tablets left to ease the transfer - I'm alternating methadone with the oxycontin to try and stabilize myself (oxy is hard to sleep on, so I take methadone in the evening). I find that the oxycontin works OK if I take them as prescribed, but I much prefer methadone. Methadone is much cheaper, but it's also a far surperior chronic pain medication, in my opinion. Everybody is different, but I believe that for MOST people methadone is a better choice for treating long-term chronic pain and/or addiction. As far as "tablets vs liquid": I much prefer the methadone tablets, because they seem to absorb slower and last longer. It's quite easy to titrate down using pills - the "Methadose" brand tablets are larger than the other kind of methadone tablets I got (I haven't tried the "Dolophine" brand yet), so it's a little easier to break them into smaller doses, but even the smaller talbets can easily be broken down into even small doses. A 5mg. tablet can easily be broken in halves (2-1/2mg. pieces), and those can easily be broken in half (1-1/4mg. pieces), and those can be broken in half yet again if needed. I think it's much easier to titrate down when you have complete control over your own dosing schedule. Sometimes we all need a bit more methadone for various reasons (increased pain, stress, strenuous phsical activity, urine pH, etc.), and clinics won't let you adjust your dose very often - they insist you stay at what THEY consider a "stable" dose, even though they don't know how you feel. Women often need more methadone during their menstral cycle each month, and that's when the women on methadone at clinics sometimes use heroin since the clinic won't give them extra methadone to compensate for their increased need during their period. Only you know how you feel, so only you should have control over your dosing schedule - unless you're an addict who absolutely can't control your own intake, but that's rarely a problem with methadone. If anyone reading this is suffering from addiction to oxycontin (or other short-acting opioids), please do yourself a favor and switch to methadone ASAP!!!

[Francoise]

Hi Dave:

Great post. I was even sorry to see it end.

I'm taking oxycontin (100 mg/2x) for chronic pain. Have been doing for - well - in November, it will be three years. I hear what you're saying about methadone and in fact will print out your post and show it to my pain management doctor.

If I do indeed switch to methadone from the oxycontin dose noted above, how much methadone will I need? And what kind of side effects will I experience? I'm most sensitive to depression, and would rather stay on the oxy than get into a depressive state.

Something else stays on my mind and that is: my pain management guy is most cooperative. I've never had a problem of any kind with this guy. But I'm 56 years old and since there is much longevity in my family, I might be around until I'm well into my 80s or beyond. My father, for instance, is 82 and still mows the grass and other stuff. I'm concerned about what might happen if or when my pain guy moves to a different city, dies, etc. I don't think it's a given that I'm going to find another like him. And I don't know if this is the voice of reason, or the voice of paranoia. I'm tempted to go the Ibogaine route.

I say that because I don't have any way of accessing my current level of real pain. I know something is still there since when I get up in the morning and its time to dose, I can feel considerable pain in my back and sometimes during the day if I turn my body just right I get an impressive amount of pain shooting down my leg (wedge fracture L4 vertebra, open book fracture of pelvis with dislocation - the pelvis had to be reattached to my spine with a 4" titanium bolt).

Oxycontin most definitely gives me a life, but with side-effects that perfectly mimic exhaustion and all the rest.

Each time I begin to think like this, I remember Christopher Reeve and think how he fell six feet; I fell 25 feet and I can walk.

A guy on this site, Thomas, a great guy, has a good formula for getting off opiates, but I don't know if I'm ready for that battle viz. pain.

Would appreciate having your thoughts. You can post direct at ***@****.

Thanks,
Frank

[trebor]

Hello, i am on a meathadone maintence corse in Ireland and there is a new drug that has come out in Ireland over the last 1 year or so, it called Lefexodean or britlefex (spelling wrong) my brother and a few other people i know have been put on this when detoxing over here and they thought it was very very good nearly taking all the sickness away, the drug was not made for this i dont think, it was made for bringing down blood preasure, if you get on to this drug you might have to go into hospital unless you can get someone to check your blood preasure every day, anyway when my brother was put on it he went in to hospital for about 10 days first you have to be brought down to a low dose on meathadone say about 5mls then you start on the tablets, they start you on 1 aday and when bringing you up on the tablets they bring you off the meathadone after 3 or 4 day you are totaly of the meathdone and put you up to a maximum of 12 tablets a day and then you brought off the tablets over the next week, there are side affects but they are not bad you might feel tired and sleepy but not much more then that and you can not be addicted to this drug, i had another freind who dident go into hospital his mother is a nurse and she took his blood preasure, now i dont know if you can get them in the USA but if you can get them in Iraland i dont see why you couldent get them in America,
I hope this might be some help to you,


Robby.

[Sharp]

I am now detoxing off methadone and I am at 18mgs.  I have been decreasing a couple of mgs a week from 40 mgs.  The withdrawals are really starting to effect me now but I am under pressure to continue to go down 2 mgs a week since I am relocating in a few monthe to an area with no methadone clinics.  I have been reading the posts and I am on my way out to but L-tyrosine, B6, and Multivitamins and zinc.  I have been reading about how wonderful these supplements have been working and am looking forward to trying them.  Does anyone know how much zinc you would need to take daily???  I tried to search the archive but they only give the original questions and Dr. Steves answers but no members responses.  I recall reading several months ago from Pillpappa a posted schedule showing estimated amounts to take. If anyone has this info I would appreciate it.  Thank you.

[Witchywoman]

Hi Sharp,
I've definately noticed a reduction in withdrawal symptoms with the L-Tyrosine, B-6 and Zinc supplements.  Here is the post from Pillppa with his zinc recommendation.  I don't agree with him that the zinc deficiency is the reason for the addiction symptoms, I'd like to see solid research to back up his claims....but I have to admit, the supplementation has helped me a lot.  I couldn't find tablets with his recommended ammounts, so I take a good multi mineral, and add extra zinc tablets to it.
Good luck, and let us know how you are doing.

Here is his post:

Hi Moses - you will not come right until you replace all the zinc/mag you have leached out of your body over the past few years - this is what 'hanging out' really is - it's your body craving zinc/mag (zinc stops cravings/magnesium stops depression). If you don't do this it will take up to 2 years to return to normal as the only other source your body has for zinc/mag is food and then it is in such tiny amounts it takes years to build up again. If you get a blood test done you will find your levels of both are way down on what they should be.


A typical tablet contains somthing like this:

Zinc amino acid chelate 75mg
Magnesium amino acis chelate 37.5mg
Vitamin B6 10mg
Manganese amino acid chelate 10mg
Viatmin A (1000I.U.) 300mcg

Grading your habit on a scale of 1-10 (1 being occasional use and 10 being long term methadone at 100 plus mg's a day) you should take the following amount for a period of one month then slowly reduce to a daily amount of 2-3 per day.

Habit scale/size - Number of tablets per day for a month

10 10
9 9
8 8
7 7
6 6
5 5
4 4
3 3
2 3
1 2
0 2

You will notice that I recommend you never go below 2 per day. This is because zinc/mag depletion was your original problem so you should give yourself an ongoing supplement to make sure it does not happen again. I now take 2-3 per day to maintain my health. I have had no failures with this treatment (everyone OK after less than a month) and have treated addictions (including my own) as varied as methadone and cigarettes. The cigarrete smoker reduced from 2 packs per day to just 5 cigarettes per day in a week without any discomfort. If you suffer any kind of 'hang out' just increase the zinc/mag dosage and give it a liitle longer to take effect (a week or so).
The drugs themselves are not actually addictive but they do leach all the zinc/mag out of your body by increasing the metabolism of them creating a shortage that gets worse the longer you use unless you replace them while you are using in which case you don't hang out when you stop - you just come straight - this is true beleive me I have tried it as have a few other people I know and none of us sufferred any hang out when we stopped.

[Sharp]

WitchyWoman,

Thank you for your help, I went out and purchased all the necessary supplements yesterday.  I plan on a 3mg drop at the end of this week, i will let you know how it works for me
, hopefully I will have less w/d symptoms.

[Witchywoman]

Hi Sharp,
Good luck to you, and yes, please do post and let us know how you are doing.

I've found this forum even more helpful than the supplements, to be honest.  Having a place to be able to reveal how my addict self tries to take the lead gives me so much help in this battle.

I am curious to hear if the zinc works for you as well though..so please keep in touch.

WW

[Witchywoman]

Wren? You've been kinda quiet the past few days..How are you doing?

WW

[Witchywoman]

Hi folks,
Just wanted to give you an update on how I'm doing.  My pain level went way up again, so there is no way I can taper off at this point.  

I have to tell the truth about how my addiction is working though.  At the same time that I'm trying to figure out what is the healthy way to approach taking the meds, my addict self is still sneaking around planning ways to get high. ::sigh
I found myself not eating for a while, waiting till my stomache was very empty before taking my schedule pain med dose, thinking that if it was not mixed with food it would affect me more.

:-(

It is embarrassing to reveal this, but I know that I have to tell you guys the real truth, as I've learned that telling the truth is the path toward recovery. Now that I've revealed this, I have more motivation to not do this anymore, and to remain on track with taking the meds for the pain, without abusing them.

Thanks for being here, and seeing all of who I am, rather than condeming me for having an addiction.

WW

[PHILLYCHAD]

Have you taken the Zinc/Mag yourself? If so, did you find it helpfull? I also didn't catch the amount (mg's) I should take...thank......CHad

[jennyfla]

i haven't been doing well with tapering at all, it's very embarrassing, but it's my truth! :(
My husband will be home next week, and he tells me they will be completely gone, and that i can do this... he will help!
i'm probably going to end up doing it cold turkey, but he will be back to help me get through it (with the kids and all).  I plan to take a few days off from work, attached to the weekend, and beat this thing!!!
I need to do this, and i will do this even if i have to suffer to get through it... tapering just isn't happening for me.  When he returns, i will have a few lorcets left to take if it gets real bad, but that's all i will allow myself, only enough to get through it if it's really really tough.  I think my usage is still low enough to get through it like this... i been pretty good about not abusing it even further like i easily could have, i've had plenty to just go crazy with, and haven't, so i thank god for that...
my husband calls me crying on the phone, feeling my pain... i want to do this for my family, but most of all for me... there's no reason to continue this kind of life, it must stop now!!!
You will see me posting with a success story soon, i promise that, but it will be very hard getting through the mental pull of these pills.  I plan to attend meetings, and get counseling if i need to, but the meetings will be a must, and it will help me tremendously!!!
Just having my husband back, fully, will help a lot.  I will gain strength through his new sobriety, and i know that we can do this together, there is so much life yet to live, there's no time to waste, too much has been lost!!!
I'm as ready as i ever will be, and have a lot to fight for, i know i can do this!!!
Your prayers are helping, and i thank all of you with all my heart!!!
I'll keep you posted!!
You are all in my prayers too!  :)
Lv Jenny

[Kerrie]

Jennyfla,I want you to know I have faith in you. Even more , I have faith in God . I want you to know I'm praying for you. I spoke with my daughter tonight and her speech was very slured. I know she relapsed. I know she can kick this thing if she tries. She was a terrible alcoholic 4 years ago. She was using pills too. I feared for her life. But you are trying to do this without making excuses. She is still in denial even though she's trying to get off the pills,she says she isn't an addict. Trust God to help you and all your friends here are praying for you. You will make it. I can hear in your words how important your family is and how badly you want this. You have many wise people here. Keep talking and never give up. Go to the support meetings and everyone is always going to be here for you. As long as your trying,your not failing. The only failure is to not try. God Bless you.
   Kerrie

[Witchywoman]

Hi Chad,
Yes, I have been taking the zinc supplements, and yes, I have definately found it to be helpful.  I'm still on the meds, but I don't seem to get withdrawals 6 or 7 hours after the last dose, like I used to. Last week I went from 3pm to 9am with no meds, and woke up with no withdrawals.

If you scroll up to my repost of the zinc plan, you'll see what the recomended dose is. It is based on how strong a narcotic habit you have.  I have been taking about 7 multimineral tabs a day, they are huge pills, not easy to swallow. I added a seperate zinc tablet, that I also take around 7 times a day.
Also, I did not notice any difference until I have been taking it for about a week.

I'm not sure I believe that zinc complety removes all withdrawals. I did get some diarhea the night I went all night with no meds. I also am not convinced that this is the cure all for addiction withdrawal. But, when combined with Thomas's suggested supplements of L-Tyrosine and B6, I think that it does indeed help the body handle what we've done to it with the drugs.

Good luck, and I"d be interested to hear whether this has been helpful to you.

WW

[jennyfla]

Thank you for your well wishes, and i hope i don't let myself and everyone down, but i don't think i will!  :)
I will say a prayer for your daughter that she will come to the realization that she is an addict, and that she needs help!
Hopefully, one day, it will all make sense to her, and she will begin her fight to get off of drugs and alcohol for good!!!
Lv Jenny

[tylerdurden]

Hey Jennyfla,

I can feel your pain!!  I know this is very hard to be going through.  I would recomend that you do not do cold turkey.  The reason is because you will feel like **** and want to take the pills not to get high but just to relieve the withdrawl.  They have outpatient detox centers that will administer Buprenorphine, which is what I am going through now...check out my other post to find out what other meds I am taking.  Buprenorphine makes withdrawl very comfortable and erases cravings, at least for me it did.  I tried doing the withdrawl with darvocet but I still felt crappy.  Intensive outpatient detox programs are usually inexpensive.  It cost me $160 for the first visit and $40 for follow up.  Thats not bad considering other places charge alot more.  Please get proffesionally detoxed!!!  You will be doing yourself a favor.  Good luck, and hang in there!! :)

Tyler

[Angelica]

....... Sounds like you have a wonderful husband.  You two must really love each other.  I think your gonna beat this thing.  I feel for you, I really do.  I didn't really know what "that feeling" was like, untill I started on the Oxycontin.  I too may be posting about tapering and withdrawals if this medicine is limited to terminal pain only.  That could be a possibility in the future.  Its not that unlikely to happen.  
Keep us posted, and keep that attitude.  You know the days are just around the bend..... its only a matter of time.  I know you'll do it.  
Love,
Angelica

[Wizard]

Dang LADY, when have you never been there for me? Did I just dream all that support that I THOUGHT I was getting from some woman named Cin/Dorothy ?????Geezeee, I could of sworn I had an "angel" by the name of Cin who has let me lean on her a whole lotta times.............this must be post opiate withdrawal "Naked Lunch" dreams I have about this wonderful, caring, compassionant, loving, caregiving ruby red slippered, click your heels 3 times, Florence Nightingalekinda lady that I SWEAR has e-mailed me at my darkest hours.............hmmmmmmmm, must have been my imagination...........hmmmmmmm......does anybody else have these kinda dreams??????????? hmmmmmmmmm.....
Cin, we love you girl.....and Jenny is right......you don't have to do nothing but be YOU! God Bless you and keep you darling.
Power & Magick 2 U,
Peace & Light on us all,
Wiz that Wuz because he Duz :-)

[jennyfla]

thank you for your encouragement!
I can't do outpatient though tyler, i have 3 young children with no one to help my husband care for them, it just wouldn't work.
if things get real though, i'll take a few loracets if i need them, 1/2 at a time, and i'll be ok...  but when i'm out of pills, i'm out!
I went through 3 pregnancies/childbirths, i know i can do this!!!
My husband keeps telling me it's easier than i'm imagining.  If he could beat his habit in 5 incredible days, then i can beat my dwaft of a habit compared to his gigantic one!
Anyway, it will be a challenge and worth the fight.  When i start to feel like ****, i will take it as a sign that each minute, i'm getting better and better getting more and more out of my system.  My main worry is caring for the kids while i feel like i'm dieing.  They are very demanding, and i'm afraid of not being able to handle their needs.  My husband will help, but most of the time, it's ME they want!  Sigh!
Wish me luck!
Lv Jenny