scared to go back

[samisls88]

my mom and I have been staying in a cabin for the last 7 days so we could get the worst of the detoxing over with away from all of the temptation of being at home and how easy it is to get pills. We are going back tomorrow and I am so scared that I am just going to fall right back into it. I have been sober for five days and the worst of the withdrawals are over and I feel so good physically and mentally about my decision to quit. I just don't want to get back home and fall right back into the same routine that I was in before. The thing that will be the hardest for me is the fact that I live with an opiade abuser and don't have the money to move, I'm scared that being around someone that is high will make me want to give in and do them myself. I want to be strong because I want to be able to live my life without having this addiction weighing me down.

[dahmvikes]

Write a journal about how horrible withdrawals are/were while it is still fresh in your head.  Write down all your fears, worries and everything.  Write down how you felt while you were on the pills.  I am on day 23 and doing great.  My mom, dad, cousins, aunts & friends are all addicts but I am using them as a learning tool.  I have been writing in my journal all the time and I plan to use it if the time ever comes up that I feel like taking anything again.  I wrote in there all about the way my head felt, the sneezing, the vomitting, diarrhea, shakes, not being able to sleep, not wanting to talk to anyone, just write EVERYTHING!!!!  It helps to keep looking back on that if you have to.  You will do great!  You have the worst over with and just remember why you quit, you were unhappy!  Good luck!  I'm rooting for you!  

[samisls88]

The thing is I quit my job about a eight months ago because all I would do is go to work and cry. I'm Bipolar and wasn't on meds for it at the time and well it was definatly interfering with my work. I got that under control and have been looking for a job for a couple months now. I live at home with my mom and dad now. The person I was talking about was my father he is an opiade abuser and alcoholic. I wouldn't say I have friends anymore because they were all users and I am trying to get out of that. I have thought about staying with family in West Virginia but I really need to find a job so I will have the ability to move.

[IBKleen]

Hi Hun!

So good to hear from you. I heard that mom posted today but I didn't get the chance to  see it.

I am glad you are scared. that is a good thing.

Why are you going back there? Can yous stay with mom? A friend? Anything?

Recovery is selfish and it is about YOU. you have to do whatever it takes.

Hope you are still around...

[lurker]

You need to establish relationships with clean and sober people.  Go to AA or NA and listen for a while.  Try several meetings, don't give up if you don't like the first one. You'll eventually hear someone you can really relate to.  When they offer to pass out the phone list, take one.  You can connect and that's the only thing that kept me clean and sober for over 10 years.  My relapse occurred in part because I was no longer connected to people who understood addiction and who could have helped me stay off the pills had I stayed connected.
You have done the easy part - getting off staying off is hard work but it is so worth it!