Embarassed Relapse

[rockhead23]

Hey all, I found this site over the summer and after getting the guts up to go C/T I quit for almost 12 days.  August 23 was the start.  A regular hydro 10/325 user
10-15 a day for the last 10 years...I made it because of this site and then....BOOM!  relapse.  Almost right back to the yellow devils in full force.  I am so mad that I had a big vision and spoke of how I finally did it, and didn't sound like most of the  
'tomorrow I'm going to stop people.


I've been on this site now for the last 3 months just checking in while using and I think its time to stop again...I have been cutting down to around 5  a day for the last few weeks....and its time to really STOP NOW....AGAIN.
I'm glad there seems to be the full gamut of users and abusers on this site to make you feel like its not just you that this happens to.....

Please all keep an eye out for me.  I need all your help this time.  I know it starts and ends with me, but a little prayer and love goes along way.

PS. What happened to Rosie?  She was my guiding angel just before she got married and left this site

ROSIE, you out there?

[addictedme]

Nice post and I agree with everything but "relapse IS a part of it",,relapse can BE a part of it but we are addicts and were looking for anything to justify using and saying relapse IS a part of recovery gives me free one. have a good day

[ashamed03]

Don't beat yourself up to bad.  Relapse is a part of it, unfortunately, especially in the begining.  I bet I can tell you somthing to make you feel a little better about yourself!  I was coming up on 4 years clean and sober, and I relapsed!  I went back to my AA meetings and confessed to all and picked up a 24 hour chip, talk about humbling!  Get back up and try it again!  Have you tried any meetings such as AA or NA?  I can become addicted to anything under the sun, but my drug of choice was pain pills prefferably oxy's, but I relapsed on lortab from having some dental surgery.  Anyways, I go to AA just becuase I find I like it more.  Just try some meetings out!  I swear it is impossible for me to stay sober alone, I have to have my meetings and the fellowship!

[rockhead23]

Like everything else in life it always seems larger, bigger, more daunting...until you tackle it head on and then hopefully say..."that's it"?  It always seems worse thinking about it...I obviously need some sort of mental/addict support to help.  I feel so much better just throwing it out there again....last night at 10pm was my last pill forever!  I want to enjoy xmas with my wife and kids clean!

[Clamity2]

You can do it. You know you can if you did it before. At least you know what to expect. I have 10 days. I started using after 2 weeks but fortunatly it was only 5 pills and I knew it wasn't where I wanted to go again.
there are alot of wonderful caring people on this site so keep coming in esp. if you have a compulsion tell yourself you'll come here first and say it.

[IBKleen]

I will keep you in my prayers.