Update...Lookin for a little boost of hope..

[Kirsten1818]

Hey Everyone.. I hope you are having a wonderful day... Im going to post my last post then add to it so everyone kinda knows whats going on with me...

MY husband is a drug addict.. i found out when our daughter was born 6 months ago. He detoxed.. went to outpatient rehab.. NA together.. But kept relapsing. I never told anyone about this. I kept it all inside and covered up for him and supported him as he lost job after job. But the past 3 weeks he would disappear and not come home. The other night i came home from work and he was sitting on the counch crying.."i want to get high so bad." i tried to hold him but he just kept pushing me away. Finally i said.."andy you can either sit here and cry, call someone to talk to who knows what your feeling, or go get high." He made his choice and didnt come home that night. Me and his dad went and found my car. i took it but before i did i knocked on the door of the house and he came out.. I said"i can take you to rehab right now. or you can walk back into that house and turn your back on me and your daughter." He walked back into the house. So i went to my moms work.. told her and all my family everything. I moved out of our apartment taking everything except his clothes. I didnt hear from him for 3 days.. Finally he text me asking for the car backso he could start this new job last night. So i gave it back, and let him put some new work boots on the credit card. But later that night he told me him and one of his friends were moving into my apartment. I told him that was never going to happen. That was my home. Yesterday i was driving home from church and he was there with 2 of his friends. I walked up the stairs and said.."please get out of my house." I looked at him and didnt know the boy standing in front of me. I didnt know his eyes. I didnt know him. I then asked"do you really want to lose me." he replyed.."yes" and walked out with all his friends screaming at me that i was a *****.. He then text me telling me i lost him forever to go file the divorce papers and he regretted ever marrying me. I told him ok. He kept texting me nasty things.. all night.. i never text him back. Finally i text him back and siad.."good luck starting you r new job tonight. I hope everything works out for you. Kynadi loves and misses her daddy." He quit texting after that. His whole family disowned him until he wanted help. He is not welcome at any of there houses. But last night he knocked on his sister door.. He said "i have nothing but my clothes. Kirsten took everyhting. Can i have something to eat?" so she cooked him some food. I know im doing the right thing. I need to think about me and my daughter..But what kills me is how can someone have a relationship for 4 years and bring a baby into this world together.. yet not have any feelings for them? Does he really regret marrying me? Now what...

Ok so that was 2 days ago... On monday he called and wanted to see our daughter so we met at the park in order for him to see her... She cried the whole time(in between answering calls from his "friends"). I told him if he wanted a divorce than to tell me. I deserved it to my face while he was lookin into my eyes insetad of on a text for a phone call. ANd he said.."I cant i dont know what i want." I just wanted toslap him over the head and say "the choice seems pretty easy to me! You wife and daughter or you drugs and friends..hmm" But i didnt say anything. Yesterday he text me being very angry that i took everything from our apartment. Because i did take everyhting and left his clothes. I just told him im sorry but this is what i had to do. I had to do this to protect me and my daughter.. Yet he was still very mad at me.. I feel horrible.. I want him to get help and get better.. Yet i know i cant do it for him. He has to do it.. Personally does anyone think he will come around? Just give me a little hope guys... I need your supporting words to get me through this..

[pheggie101]

this sounds so much like me and my ex wife. after 25 years of marrigage she did the same thing. she had left in the past 4 times for drugs,4 times she came back,4 times i allowed it. it hurts, and all these people will tell you to move on etc. thats the hard part, the moving on. i left my ex back in my life too much, the last time she ran off with a man and is getting married to him next week, and know what, im the bad guy, i am the one who gets the vile, even though i opened my home to her, helped and supported her for 3 years while rehabbing........it dont work hun, it changes them, they are never the same afterwards.  remember the good times, and even though you focus on the bad,let the good surface. this is what helped me, set a date........one year from today, circle it, dont look back and work on you,give it that year and then look at things, when he comes around or says he doesnt know he is holding you in case........you dont have to get divorced, just take that year for you, when he comes around like at the park he is doing one of two things, he is seeking pleasure,or he is seeking to get away from displeasure, thats a broad statement but it does fall in that somewhere, i will pray for you, Jim

[Marce4]

Hi Kirsten....I know how hard this must have been for you but you really did do the right thing.  He is not himself, the pull of the drugs is so much stronger than anything else to an addict...even family!  He is sick but he is the only one that can make that decision to get help. You have supported him in every way you possibly could and now you have come to the very difficult but best decision for you and your precious child!  I will pray for you that he will realize in the very near future what he has done to his life and try to get the help he needs. Time will tell, but you need to be strong, stick to your guns, and keep you and your child safe at all costs!  Be proud of yourself for doing the best thing for you but never lose hope!  Please keep us posted on your situation!
Peace,
Marcie

[liscamdave]

He will come around, but he will only come around when he is clean. Just hang in there, do not let him see your daughter until he agrees to get help. Tell him you dont want to put he in any danger. Once he realizes that he is losing not only you and his family, but his daughter too, maybe a light will go off. But again, he is not the person you married. He is acting like the demon stuck inside him. He needs help, but has to want it first. Good luck to you...keep us posted...

Lisa