want to drink bad

[davidr714]

hi i be having so much cravings, and i am so  deppresed. things are looking up, i have a job interview this week, which is good. at the same time the pospect of a job interview makes anxious and depprresed. like i am just going to fail.
i dont know but ii am so tired sleeping like 12-14 hours a day and i am still tired have no energy. i am already on anti depppresets. among other meds. been on them for more than a year. so meds wont help.

any way i dont really want to drink what i want is relife from the horrible obsseion to drink. i have been puting off my fith step  dont what to share some of the things on it. at some level i want to drink so i dont have to do 5 th ste.
i just know my sposor is going to freak out and call me a perv after he hears my 5th step.  he call me a horrible person. i dont really belive he will do that but i these images of what he  will says after he hears my 5 th step.

the cravings go really bad when i was emagining my self going to get booz in a few hours and geting drunk
i started to salavate a lot. it sounded so so so so so so good! i mean i cant take these craving more than a week more without drinking thats how i feel. i dont want to drink but i know i cant fight the craving off much longer just being realistic
also i have  hard time talking obout how i feel with my sponsor or anyone i hate feelings
i am so angry right now i hate being a n alcholic why me  its not fare.
david r
david r

[boogieman]

hi. glad you're still sober. i know what you mean about your 5th. step. i was scared to death when i did my first one, but of course my fears were unfounded. in fact my sponsor told me some of the stuff from his 4th. step and it helped a lot.

i can relate to the feelings too---the anxiety, depression and cravings. i'm also on antidepressants as well as a drug called campral that is specifically for cravings. it seems to help me. i'm about as stressed as i can get right now, and ya, what a drink used to do for me would be nice, but i know if i drink i will likely die and it will hurt like hell the whole time. alcohol just doesn't work for me anymore---it makes everything worse.

anyhoo feel free to contact me anytime---we stick together in this thing and we can make it through anything! take care,  gm

[ronny3]

Im glad too....please feel free to talk to me anytime.  im here for you...keep going strong we will get those times, but you gotta not let your mind go for a ride...

im always here.  and im glad your still too :)

_Ron

[davidr714]

thanks i am still sober feeling better now.  any way it seems cravings are worse at night.
i am glad i am still sober
david r

[dominosarah]

I think ronny gave you good advice david.  I know the cravings are wearing on you but these will get better...talk with ronny as i think he will be able to put your mind at ease with the 5th step.  Dont let fear take you down... I am really glad to hear you have a job interview.  You will do just fine!!!!  You know i am and always have been here for you....nothing you could say or do will change that.  

talk with ronny david......I will be checking back so keep us posted.          sara

[ronny3]

Also maybe instead of sharing with your sponser those things that you are scared to you can tell me just to get it off your chest...since we are talking over the computer might make it easier....just dont give up   keep fighting ...it gets easier  

hang in there buddy and im here for you

[ronny3]

David, please dont drink....the 5th step is really hard and i was embarassed about things too....god will forgive you and if your sponser is serious and has a spiritual connection with god and knows the program he will understand...dont give up...this is just fear and remember thats one of our biggest problems that will take us down...fear is not really there we create it.  i had to smash it into my head...this program is saving my life and it can for you too...  please message me if you want to talk.  i had alot of baggage i just let out of the bag also...i was scared but now i am free from it.  you can send me a private message im here for you...dont let your mind bring you in...remember its not us running the show anymore..tell yourself that.

_Ron

[cathy5841]

hey david, i hope youare still hanging in there....you did the right thing posting.  let me know how you are.