whithdrawal and setbacks ( slip ups)

[pax]

I was taking a truckload of Oxycontin after an auto accident left me with back and neck problems ( surgeries ) I was taking oxy but was not long before i started chewing them. Was chewing 4 1/2 80mg pills and also taking 180 norco 10/325's alonf with 240 5mg oxtcodone for breakthru pain. One day I chewed 5 oxy 80mg pills and I knew I had to be done.I decided to go cold turkey and it has been a little over 2 weeks of absolute skincrawling anxiety wheeling hell!!! I has refills on the Norco and after 2 weeks I slipped. I sat and takled myself into it and took 8 norco the first day ( by the way I was taking 18 norcco at once) along with the oxyconton. Anyway the next day i took 8 and was found out by my fiance (who was pissed!!) I took ten later that night because I knew she would flush them, so why not give my pain another 3 hour breather. That was about 5 days ago and it doesn't seem like it really set me back as far as the withdrawal goes. Finally,my question is when will the anxiety subside? It is draining and just outright debilitating. I have forced myself to the gym a few tiles lately just to get off the couch and try to kick these feelings but every day the anxiety hangs in there. What am I in for? when will I feel normal with energy again so I can get back to being me??? Anyone?? Is my withdrawal longer due to the amount (extremely high amounts)??Doessomeone have a good answer for me on this?

[peaz]

HAHAHA!! That's a big 10-4 on painting  and roofing the house, and having the gourmet dinner ready......Add to that; whipping up a couple quilts, rotating the car tires, wallpapering the entire first floor,  and screwing for three hours.....(okay:TWO)  LOL   Ah.....those were the days........!!  Now I'm lucky if I can manage to put on matching socks and brush my teeth...:-) SHHEEEEIIIT.
  I think you and I are close to the same age--what year did you graduate HS?  If you think I'm telling MY age you're freaking crazy.....LOL   Let me guess---old enough for bifocals but young enough to stay out of the nursing  home, right???!!
    If  you need something to help you get your mind off detox, you can help me do laundry tomorrow.....:-)  Okay--the vacuuming, then......Peazy        P.S. I'll have the donuts ready THIS time....

[mystere]

Please read as many posts as you can from Dancing in the dark--She is one of our "experts" on the dreaded F-drug also know as fiorocet/fiorinal AKA Butalbital HELL!--The Thomas recipe recommends a benzodiazapine Valium/Xanax--I used Valium which worked very well---It is also addicting and you must be careful but the short time it it used--usually 4 days you shouldn't have any problem.  I personally do not like the feeling of benzo's--they just made me sleepy-Whereas a handful of hydro's I could paint and roof the house plus have a gourmet dinner waiting for my husband--I think that's why I had a love affair with the buggers is that they reminded me of an old diet pill that I had taken years ago called Escatrol. I'm really showing my age because that was back in the '70's. They were taken off the market because they were soooo addicting! Good Luck Hon You have a lot of friends here to answer your questions and help! Peace and prayers-Mystere

Anne

[nycgrl]

I am only on my third day of cold turkey from 10-12 Vicodin per day (and damn, this board makes me feel like a lightweight, so thanks for that) :-)
Anyway, I have scrips for xanax and sonata (for sleep) but they are both addictive, and I don't want to use them unless I have to.
Does anyone have any thoughts on using fioricet? I looked it up on rxlist, and it has tylenol, caffeine, and a central nervous system depressant (just a small amount, not enough to be addictive, according to the site).
I have this theory that depressing my CNS will ease the withdrawal somewhat. But I don't want to do anything stupid.
I plan to do the thomas detox (the guy I was getting the vicodin from also sells valium), and see how that works.
But until I can get that to work, does anyone have any thoughts on using the CNS depressant to fight w/d? Am I just a total idiot for even considering this? Thanks, and love to all.

[vicoaddict]

I have been a vicodine addict for 4 years now. I have been in recovery for 1 year with 4 relapses in that year. My withdrawals get worse each relapse. I know I took the vicoine/hydrocodone to excape feeling life. I relapse when the feelings get to intense. I was up to taking 6 vicodine/hydrocodone every 4 hours and I would chew them for a greater faster effect. I knew I was in trouble when I graduated to oxycoton. The withdrawals were more than I could handle on my own and I had to get help. I know now I am lucky to still be alive. But I dream about vicodine/hydrocodone and still crave it everyday. But no more taking the easy way out of life. Good luck to everyone. Good to know I am not alone.

[rodewc]

Oh! Forgot to say, the effexor isnt addictive, but DONT just "stop it" I did (cuz it took my sex drive away) and I ended up hallucinating.. so if for some reason u do discontinue the Effexor, wean off slowly (doc will tell u that tho) I am very happy for you. You will be Oxy free soooooooon:)) rwc~

[rodewc]

Glad you got something for the sleep, sassy.. The alprozam (sp) is generic Xanax, and I guess you have read that w/d from them is deadly, so moderation.

I can't take Xanax as I abuse those too. Ah well.

The pup is great, Jer, teething like a maniac. She is the BEST thang for my depression which today left me for the whole afternoon!!! SMILE!! But, I was also reading an abfab book.. (please buy it.. it is sooo worth it: "A Million Little Pieces"- James Frey) Biography about an addict, hardback, 2003.

I feel guilty using this board space.. How are you, tho? rwc~

[sassy020]

i went to the doc.with the intentions of telling him about my addiction, but i chickened out...and just told him about my depression and anxiety...he prescribed me effexor for the depression and alprazolam for sleep and anxiety...hopefully ill be feeling better in no time...but today was a rough day!! tomrorrow hopefully will be a better day!!

casey

[pammy0690]

Sniffing oxy is a nasty withdrawal.  I have been through a few.  You have give yourself time to heal.  It really is all about time, killing time, until you feel better.  I wanted to congratualate you on starting to detox!  Good luck and stay strong!  I hope your doctor can prescribe you something that can help even a little bit!  Pammy

[sassy020]

hey! and thanks for the advice..the withdrawls got so bad today that i left work and made myself a doctors appointment..im depressed and i cant get through this alone...i know im not alone, ive got my boyfriend and ive got my boards...i need some medication to get me through this....the withdrawls are so bad...i sweat cold and hot sweats all night, i wake up with headaches, and i feel like **** all day long...it got so bad to day that i just had to get out of work...im getting myself to a doctor, and im just gonna take it from there...all i know is that im never crushing up another oxy...its the devil...


casey

[Lostgirl]

If you haven't already thrown away the little brown pills, I think I have your answer.  Pyridium  used to ease discomfort from a urinary tract infection.  Other than turn your urine a great Texas Orange, and make urinating not so painful with an infection, they wont get you high!  But as they have a very short half life, I agree with everyone else - TOSS THEM!

[Jerri2]

Hows it going this time?I'm on day 4 and doing good!Hows the pup?Hope your coming along and in good spirits!!Take care my friend.         Jerri

[rodewc]

Hi Kid. (Are you Casey, age 20, from drugabuse?) If so, I too have been following your words at Drugabuse.c.

I saw at least three people advise you to come here, one last week and two today. Two specifically told you to talk to Thomas. Those guys were infinitely right. One mentioned talking to hippee as well as other regular posters here, all GREAT advice. Those guys, and many others have helped me more than I can express.

My recovery is from mainly Vicodin, though I also came off Fiorinal, Xanax and Oxy. The Vicodin was my drug of choice and the other drugs I used when I couldn't get the former.

I don't have an answer about what is right/wrong for weaning off drugs. I did not take the A/A route, and thus according to A/A dogma, I am destined for relapse. I hope not.

Though other literature disputes this, the vast majority touts A/A and other spiritual approaches as the only way. That is a personal decision, imvho.

On one of these boards (if you are Casey), you said you were snorting Oxy. It would be my suggestion to first ingest the Oxy and then try to quit. I would quit by telling a MD about my need for a tranquillizer (sp?) to assist in sleep because of the W/Ds.

I could not have functioned without such (something to sleep besides Melatonin, Benadryl, etc) when I attempted to quit. There were too many real life pressures, such as work, for which I needed a decent sleep. I had tried quitting three times, without a benzo (like Xanax).

I am not sure an antidepressant, like you mentioned, is what you need, or even something that will help. But, I am not a doctor. Antidepressants shut me down on most of the niceties of life, including a sex drive. But that was I. "Different strokes for different folks."  

My resolve, like the poster Mystere (AKA NOLady), is as steel this time. It is a matter, or was a matter for me of ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

Words written here, and on DA.com, express why: "'I was sick and tired of being sick and tired'(A/A mantra): and, wondering where/when/how I would get my next bottle of pills." What a crock. What insanity.

I hated, to quote a writer (RStew) who has made a huge difference in my recovery, ... I HATED seeing six Vicodin left in the bottle.. knowing the game was about to start again..the game of lies.. how to get more pills.

I recently had surgery and did not fill the script for the pain pills after. To me.. that is my indicator of success.

The only thing you have written that concerns me is that your boyfriend is also using Oxy. I hope you both want to quit. Unless the desires are intrinsic, the efforts will likely be futile. I hope not. In this case, once (quitting) IS enough! It was harder for me in each attempt. Plus, there were also mini-withdrawals when waiting for the next script refill, etc.

I have learned from lurking here a few months, and finally writing, that it is easier to post near the top if this forum so the wise (and I say that with sincerity) old (and young) gurus, and those with lengthy recoveries and experiences, see your words and respond.

And, they will, Sassy. Until then, keep posting. You can do it; we all can with eath other. You got good advice on the other board, and I know you will here. I apologize for this length post. I Just hope you will feel welcome among the most astute persons I have had the pleasure to be amongst.

rwc~

[vettezr1]

Yes, I am glad you have come to that realization on your own; us dads love our little girls more than our own lives. God forbid anything happened to you I have no doubt it would have killed your dad I know it would kill me if anything ever happened to my little girl even if she is 22 she may hate it but she will always be my little girl. I have learned much here. I never realized others had problems with pain meds I thought only pain patients did I was wrong.
I never had any interest in getting high only pain relief but I will even pass on the pain relief aspect now. Good idea as far as exercising and moving and dancing or what ever gets you going you have a very very long life ahead of you take care of it.
I really never would have slapped a girl I would have just yelled at you.

[sassy020]

hello!
dancin in the dark(judy)from drugabuse.com sent me to you for some help...i have posted a comment about my addiction...yesterday was the first day of being clean of oxycontin...then last night..i slipped! i took a 40...im so depressed today and im not sure if i can do this! they said you were the best! please read my post and help me!!! i need some advice and some guidance.....email me if you rather do that...this goes for anyone!!! caseywerd_311***@****
i feel im out of control...and i cant stop and all im thinking about today is the pills.... please advice!!!

sassy020

[PsychologyStudent]

Thank you guys so much for the replies to my post.  I had NO idea how helpful a forum like this could be for my mental well-being.  I've been keeping busy and have even decided to start going back to my dance classes today (baby steps, right?) and do some light stretching and basic groundwork.  I did see the Thomas recipe and I am going to the grocery store this afternoon to pick up those supplies.  I decided to tell my parents this morning what's going on because they have been getting worried about this "bug" I've had the past week or so.  They were both so supportive (both shrinks themself) that I cried.  They told me that they would be there to talk at any time 24-hours a day.  Unfortunately they live states away.  I've been independent for about four years now and so they just don't know what goes on in my life unless I tell them.  My father is in poor health and it pains me so to have made him cry and thank God that I'm still alive and not dead from an accidental OD.  *sigh*  I have such strong people in my life... thankfully.  I've not touched anything since last Tuesday and I'm starting to feel REMARKABLY better.  I wanted to thank you guys, again, for the support you've given not only me, but every person in your lives.  They are truly lucky people to have the likes of you as a friend.  You guys have a great day and keep strong!
Laura

[pammy0690]

Hey good job on quitting!  Six days is great!  From here on out you should feel a little better each day.  There is a vitimn recipe on this forum you should try.  It is designed to help with the lack of energy that you are no doubt experiencing.  It is called the Thomas recipe and you should give it a try.  As far as the withdrawal pain if I were you I would not try to medicate it.  You are almost out of the woods without anything so why start now.  Get up and get some type of physical activity as much as you can tolaralate.  You need not be embarrassed or ashamed as prescription abuse is extremely common and widely accepted.  Good luck to you and keep posting!  Pamela

[mystere]

First of all you are not a LOSER!--Just a human being with a "problem"--I am in the same boat just coming off a 12-14 a day hydrocodone habit --I am now 36 hr past hydro-hell--That is the million dollar question as to why some people get addicted and some don't--Hell I have friends that have had pain pills from surgical procedures, they take a couple as prescribed then throw the rest away (Used to break my heart HA HA)--Anyway you are not alone!--This forum is is my lifeline and it can be yours too!--Yes you can get your life back from the insanity!--I know all of the feelings that you have right now--Shame-Guilt- and that big mother Paranoia!--I came very close this past week to losing the most important person in my life (my husband) because of those damn pills--Sooo a decision had to be made! I am willing to endure these 5-7 days of being very uncomfortable for having my wondrful life back--Think about it Hon--You are 22 years old and have your entire life ahead of you- Please keep reading the threads and keep posting we are here for you!  Mystere/ AKA N.O. Lady--(My office computer nickname)--Peace and prayers--Best of luck!

[vettezr1]

If you have been without any drugs for over six days you are well on your way to getting over the WD

[PsychologyStudent]

I completely forgot to list the amount I was taking of the sickly sweet drug: I would usually take around 20 (or more) 10mg hydrocodone a day.  At the most I would take 6 at once, but usually I took three at a time, and I took them often.  Whenever I would feel that buzz start to wear off slightly (about an hour and a half after taking the first round), I'd pop another round.  Ugh, I feel ill discussing this with anyone, but it's medicinal, I believe.  Thanks everyone. Laura

[PsychologyStudent]

Jas,
Haha, yes believe it or not I study psychology.  I know far too much about self-fulfilling prophecies.  The only reason I feel like such a loser is because of the stereotypes people place upon drug users (which is basically what I am... well, was :)).  I'm feeling so much better knowing how many people share this terrible "thing" with me.  I don't know why, but just knowing that other people have succumb to the same thing I have helps me greatly in my pursuit to resume a normal life.  I kept wondering in my MANY pursuits of the drug why it wasn't just legal?  I mean, yeah people would be a little less alert, but my God, it helps SO many people in so many different ways.  Who cares if you get addicted, really?  I do understand the ramifications of liver damage, but people habitually use ibuprofen which tore my father's liver apart to the point where he has to be on dialysis.  So is it the lack of alertness?  Well we all know the old "alcohol vs. weed" fight.. the same can be said here, alcohol makes you far less alert and slower to react than hydrocodone (I don't know about anything other than hydrocodone, though, such as Oxycontin).  Anyway, this is just wishful thinking.  *cravings*  Thank all of you guys for being out there to listen to my nonsense.  Also, thank you Jas for your response. :)-- Laura

[Anhedonio]

Are you really a psychology student? Then you should realize that you shouldn't be thinking of yourself as "nothing more than an addict". You're a human being, entitled to having feelings, thoughts, and making mistakes.

Then you have so well predicted your addiction and the agony of withdrawal that it has become a self fulfilling prophecy. At six days in you've rounded the last turn and are on the home stretch (at least as far as physical symptoms go).

Read through the posts on this forum and you'll find many answers to your questions, as well as ample proof that you are not alone. Keep an eye out for one describing the Thomas recipe, which describes a common sense approach to dealing with wd symptoms.

Good luck in your quest. Jas.

[PsychologyStudent]

Hi, VERY new here.  I'm much younger than most of you, I believe (22) and I'm so embarassed to even be typing this right now, but here I go...  Approximately two years ago, I had severe vaginal bleeding and my gynocologist assumed it was endometriosis.  He first tried to stop the bleeding with meds, ie. birth control pills, but to no avail.  He decided that I needed endoscopic surgery, which proved his suspicions correct.  I had endometriosis and they zapped the areas of bleeding with the surgery.  Anyway, after the surgery I was prescribed Lortab 10 with several refills.  I think the addiction (at least it felt) was immediate.  I've been going from doctor to doctor, emergency room to emergency room since trying to get prescriptions for hydrocodone; I never graduated to "harder" things such as Oxycontin (however I'm sure I'm ALREADY addicted to the stuff (joke)), but nonetheless I'm nothing more than an addict.  I was in a "new" doctor's office the other day for my second visit with him.  He came in saying "We have a problem.."  I was instantly nervous (as I always was at doctor's offices).  He told me one of the various pharmacies I used had called his office and told him about my "escapades" with various doctors and dentists and the hydrocodone that was prescribed by all of them.  He was furious and I started bawling with disgust and embarassment.. I felt like nothing.  He told me it had to stop.  This was six days ago and I've not taken any hydrocodone since and I'm in GREAT pain (from withdrawal).  I don't know what to do.  The sweats and chills are unbearable and I haven't slept in days.  I feel like I've wasted two years of my life and that I'm a horrible human being for doing this to these physicians.  I wanted to share my story and also ask about withdrawal.  Is there anything that might subdue these awful withdrawal symptoms?  I've read that blood-pressure medications and/or beta-blockers might be helpful reducing the sweats, and if that's true, I would love for someone to let me know.  I will stay away from things such as Ativan (lorazepam) for I feel that I just have an addiction personality.  Thank **** I don't drink, right?  Heh... anyway, I would appreciate any feedback.  Thanks everyone for letting me share... kept me busy for a few minutes ;).

[AmberHunter]

as far as non-traditional therapies go reiki is great and a reiki master can work with you long distance. do a search on reiki and i am sure you will find one... nothing ventured, nothing gained...

as far as withdrawl and setbacks go, well, been there done that! pick yourself up off the floor, feel bad about yourself and guilty for 15 minutes, no more than 15 minutes and brush yourself off and walk on... it says in the basic text of narcotics anonymous that there can be recovery after relapse...

i personally have some problems with NA and chose not to go to meetings at this time in my life but there is so much good that comes out of the program and the fellowship in general...

this list has been fascinating to me! glad i found it!!!

amber

[indigois6]

Great to know that you're looking at as big a picture for you as possible right now. I guess it doesn't matter what path we all take as long as we end out where we want to be! Someone just recommended this book to me for pain and recovery - I haven't read it, I haven't seen it - I don't even know if I'd like it! But I'll probably pick it up this weekend and check it out. If you're interested: You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L. Hays. I'm sure there's a review of it on Amazon.com or something. maybe it could help. All the best.