Hey FedUp........Sounds like your life has become a circle of bad choices....but i don't think you're insane......you have recognized the problem and are reaching out for help the very best way you know how. That means you ARE doing something different to address your problem...so let's ruke out insanity. You seem to be ready to quit and have tried to make changes in your life in an effort to fix this problem..right??? Well then now all you need to do is change your thought patterns and stop acting on those feelings to use. Sounds too simple?? Trust me it most definitely is NOT easy....but you have to be strong enough to remove yourself from the situations that cause you to use....will you have to lose some friends??? Probably. I have known many people in my life that I thought were friends...we had a good time together however a TRUE FRIEND always has YOUR best interest at heart not there own.
."Goodtime" party buddies...right??? Stick around here and you will find many sincere knowledgeable and compassionate people who will truly be-friend you and try to help I PROMISE........I'll keep you in my prayers and wish you nothing but freedom and happiness .........and peace.....
n8tiv_ndn
Hi there and welcome. That was my drug of choice as well. You CAN change this course you are on. It sounds like you have made positive steps in the right direction-work,school,etc. You know you need to change friends-always hard. Have you considered attending any CA (cocaine anonmyous) or even NA meetings? Those really helped me in the beginning. What helped me in the beginning was the money aspect of it. Who couldn't use an extra $900 a week in their pocket? So I started putting that coke money into the bank instead of up my nose and promised myself that I would not touch it unless I had an emergency (NOT a coke emergency either!!) It actually worked. Attending meetings and being on this site whenever I wanted to use are what really saved me. Whenever I wanted to use,which was every day also,I would get on here and post,or talk to friends here.It really saved me. So,stay here and post,make friends. There is a huge amount of support here. Anytime you need to talk,just send me a message 'cause I definately relate!! Stay strong!!! You deserve better!!!