Chronic stomach pain, chronic sleepiness, skipping school.

[ifsogirl]

My 13 year old son has been complaining of random stomach pains to get out of school lately.  He even went so far as to lie to me about vomitting this morning. just so he could stay at home and sleep.  

I'm at a loss as to what to do.  I'm afraid that if I don't give him consequences for not going to school and doing his homework, he will never do it.  I'm also afraid that if I do give him consequences, then he won't learn anything on his own.  Please help me.

[Jason Greenberg, Ph.D.]

Hi there, I recall you from a previous post about your son.  I think that while you may want to encourage your son to goto school if you think he is "faking," or prevent him from staying home by letting him know the consequences of missing school and following through on these consequences (e.g., no TV), you may also want to talk to him about why he hates going to school.  What is it about school that he doesn't like?  That may be a place to start with him.

[alzandra]

We have been asking him since day one why he doesn't like school.  Funny story:

My baby sister graduated the same year my son finished preschool, so we decided to show him what her school was like.  We also showed him his school he would be attending.  All summer, he was super excited to start school.  The first day he started, I picked him up and he came out raging mad because there where no lockers.  

He doesn't remember this previous episode, but he decided from that moment on he did not like school.  It's been hard since kindergarten.  

In kindergarten, I thought that maybe he had some trouble with learning, so I requested that he be tested for any problems.  It took 6 years of pestering, but I was finally listened to.  He isn't learning disabled.  He's a genius.

When he got into grade 8, he came home from the first day of school, super excited about his new locker!  He said he loves school and he'll work hard to graduate and be on time and show up everyday.  (see?  Told ya it was funny)

[alzandra]

PS  He also suffers from migraines, which he is being referred to a paediatrition for.  He uses those as a reason not to go to school, as well.  But I think I'm pretty good at tellling when they are real and when he is faking.I forgot to mention that he has always hated going to school since kindergarten.  This year is the first year that he has looked forward to going to school.  He is missing much less school than when he was in elementary school, so I'm not sure if it's just habit, or something punishable.

[alzandra]

****OOOPS!!!
        This is actually MY question.  Accidentally got in under my friend's account!