Alcoholism

[catcon49]

My husband of 32 years drinks just about every night, beer. We recently separated, on New Year's day, he picked a fight with me while he was drinking. Blames me for everything.  Claims he can't sleep at night, his hands fall asleep at night.  I have seen him drink until he fell off the chair while sitting at the computer.  5 years ago, he broke his neck, he says the doctor said he always had the break. But I think it was due to a fall down our steps while he was drunk. He has had ankle surgery, he knee bothers him and hip. I think this is all due to falls while intoxicated. I work an early shift and go to bed early, so I don't always know how drunk he gets. He was at my home today while I was working. My youngest son saw 2 cases of beer in his truck. That may last the week. He doesn't miss work. Is this alcoholism or just a drinking problem. I'm not sure I know the difference. I don't drink. Anyone out there please help.

[ibizan]

and catcon sorry for the triple posting!last nite this froum wasn't working well......postings wouldn't post or looked like they did!

[ibizan]

the more he drinks and drives the more he increases chance for a DUI..this will bite him in the rear....healthwise for a man his age he's also playing roulette!his karma will come around to nail him with this....it is a matter of time.

[ibizan]

the more he drinks and drives the more he increases chance for a DUI..this will bite him in the rear....healthwise for a man his age he's also playing roulette!his karma will come around to nail him with this....it is a matter of time.

[ibizan]

the more he drinks and drives the more he increases chance for a DUI..this will bite him in the rear....healthwise for a man his age he's also playing roulette!his karma will come around to nail him with this....it is a matter of time.

[catcon49]

1 DUI 20 years ago. Went through ARD program.

[ibizan]

has he had dui's?if not maybe one would wake him up....and hopes that he doesn't hurt anyone as a result of his drunk driving!ur friends are wise advisors..u have put a lot of urself in2 the marraige for 32 years..u deserve to have a good lawyer fight for u and get u what u deserve.

[catcon49]

I know that you are all right.  I think I have always know it would come to this.  But it was just easier to stay here with him. thanks for you support. I felt like I was the crazy one. Because he mostly denies any problem or event that has happened. I worry because I know he has been out at a few bars and pretty sure driving. I wish I could get him off my insurance, But he brought money over for me to pay all the bills last week and I can't afford them on my own yet. I don't want to be dragged down with him anymore. Friends have cautioned me not to move to quickly.

[ibizan]

Billy u just keep gettin better lookin everyday!:)))) its too bad loved ones have to leave but they have no choice unless they want to go crazier staying and end up having all the life sucked outta them!it would be nice if catcon's hub WOKE up......miracles can happen but we know in the interim she must go..for her own sake!:))))

[working dog]

ibizan..you really are good at this stuff...it's too bad you have to be the one saying leave..but i know your right...and catcon...it will take a while to feel comfortable with this new change..but i'll bet in time you'll be doing fine with it....billy

[catcon49]

Thanks,

[ibizan]

u've been used to living ur life a certain way for 32 years!and sad that he refuses to change and lose the marriage...eventually if he doesn't quit he will die from this.But u can live...a new life...there is still time and better for u.And the peace and lack of  having to view a drunken spouse would be a welcome change ...i think!

[catcon49]

yeah, I know, I have been lonely for the last few years anyway even with him living here. So I can't be any worse off.

[ibizan]

i've been sober/clean 24 yrs.Dayjob is addictions counselor.U DID NOT cause this!No one caused mine!Understandable that after 32 years of marriage u have fears of going it on ur own...but what will it continue 2 b like if u stay with him?

[catcon49]

I have my work friends a few woman. But not any social friends. Are you some sort of councelor? Could I have caused this? I am a good mother, I thought a good wife, but I don't think he thinks so. My biggest problem is that I think I am afraid I won't be able to do well on my own.

[ibizan]

Life is short/fast my dear and i'm sure these past 32 years have gone fast for u.This is no way for u 2 live and u deserve a life minus this.Sounds like ur ready to create a new life for uself.....and u so deserve it!U can't save this man from himself...he has to want to get sober.Glad u have appt.with counselor 4 urself.Do u have some good friends?things u enjoy doing that can take ur mind off this 4 awhile?

[catcon49]

Never admits to a problem. He did stop for a period of a few years once. But it has escalated back to a point where, I'm not sure it  is worth the effort. It is always me causing the problem. I have an appointment scheduled with a councelor, but not until Jan. 21st.  He tries to isolate me from friends. I can't talk to anyone in his family because they all are drinkers, I don't think they will believe me. I have no family near by of my own, just my mother who is 75, and my children.  My older 2 are in denial about their father. The 3rd one just thinks he is an a hole. My youngest son just hates him. Yet is very upset about the separation. I think that the reason I have stayed so long is because, he could be a wonderful person, he has a good job, we have a beautiful home. My father was an alcoholic and my mother divorced him when I was young. This is probably another reason I have stayed here so long. But I'm not sure it is worth it now.

[ibizan]

U have been living with this for 32 years?Yeegads its a  wonder u have any sanity left!This indeed sounds like alcoholism....oh yes....and good that ur seperated for u to have a break from this and get some clarity back in ur life.Going 2 assume he doesn't think theres a problem and doesn't want help?