Babies and Alcohol Addiction

[FabGrandma]

HI, this is my first time to this forum. I am the grandmother of an 11 year old boy, W. His mother and father are divorced. He lives with his father, my son, and his step-mother. They recently had a baby, who is 4 weeks old.

My grandson has several behaviour problems, among them being diagnosed with ADD and possibly bi-polar disorder. He was abandoned by his mother when he was 5 years old.

After the birth of the new baby, I found out from my new daughter in law that my son gave W Jack Daniels to make him sleep when he was a baby. I never knew that, because my son lived overseas when W was a baby.  I also know that they gave him children's cold medicine to make him sleep on at least three occasions when they were visiting me when he was older, about two or three years old. I asked my ex daughter in law about it at the time, and she said the doctor told her it was ok to do that. I have wondered about it ever since then.

This dicussion came up because the new baby was crying the other night, and my son wanted the mother to give him some JD to make him sleep. She was appalled by it, and told me about.

I want to know if anyone knows if giving alcohol to a baby to knock them out when they are just weeks or months old, on a regular basis, can cause behaviour problems later on. My husband and I are thinking along the lines of, "When does the baby stop crying because he is hungry/wet/ colicky/irritable/just wants to be held, and START crying because he wants the alcohol?"  Just how much and how often was he given the alcohol? Who knows? My son is not talking, but we are ready to call the base chaplin and report him for past abuse.  I am so angry at this time, but need answers.

Thanks to anyone who can give me some answers

[ibizan]

I've been sober 23 years.Dayjob is addictions counselor.Blessings upon you for caring about these children and the effects of the stupidity that has been meted out to them.I agree with the concern/comments of the others posting before me.I have worked at the same substance abuse agency for 22 years.I see the parents,children,aunts,uncles etc. in the families of alcoholics/addicts.I also see the ADHD and FAS in the children and adults.Bless you again for your vigilance and love upon these kids!

[Wolfwind]

Grandma , bless yor heart!  I would be concerned as to where "son" learned that it was o.k. to give alcohol to an infant? I can only share what I know. I am a social worker, and we were educated in fetal alcohol syndrom, an dthat is where the alcohol is transfered while the motehr is pregnant. I would suspect that since and infant's brain is growing and changing that any form of "drug" would change the chemical process and cause some type of problem.  ADHD does not have a clear cause, but the brain keeps growing and changing through out late 20's. We really arent grown up mentally until then. I woudl be concerend if thier was any type of schizophrenia in the genetic line, because from about 13? to 26 or so in males it can manifest itself.  Sometimes tramatic events or extream drug or alcohol abuse can trigger it suddenly.
From personal experience, I can tell you, I got into alsohol when I was about 2, and got blasted. I loved it. My nephew was also given alcohol by his parents when he was young because the wife had been raised by alcoholic parents and that is where she must have learned that it helps to quiet a fussy baby. Both I and my nephew grew into Alcoholics. Fortunatly I have been in recovery for 19 years, he hasn't.   Others in my family abuse alcohol and drugs so I don't know if thier is any coorelation to my and my nephews known infant alcohol exposure really is a factor here.
I agree with another poster, that educating yourself and helping dad see that maybe alcohol is not the answer to any problem, it will help him to understand more. Thankyou from a social worker for caring so much about others and your family, it is something I rarely see in todays world!

[Trialanderror]

Oh, I am sorry to hear that. Just recently I found a few articles on the web mentioning that maternal alcohol consumption during pregnancy and nursing can lead to ADD/ ADHD later in life - which is a behavioral problem. It is just statistics for now but imagine how much damage alcohol would do if given directly to the infant? Especially high percentage JD. What is pretty well researched is that alcohol does more damage to the brain than many other substances - and the brain is the very thing in an infant that develops most rapidly. Any interference will do damage. In some European countries indeed mothers used to give their infants a sip of wine or apple cider or beer once in a while but that was in the 1940s or 50s. We should know better now. Mind you, my co-worker would give her infant tylenol to make him sleep longer. If you don`t want to raise a storm right away, how about you print articles on alcohol during infancy from the web. You can give your son a chance to educate himself.
When I was 3, I had some surgery and after that I was a dreamy withdrawn child, possibly due to the anaesthesia. My parents wanted to "spice me up" and dragged me to a doctor who gave them a magic mood altering pill with the words: it is not fully approved yet but has been tested during the Vietnam war. It contained traces of LSD. I took the drug for a few weeks but started to become terrified of my own parents. Eventually they stopped feeding me the pills but my childhood memory is that I could not trust my parents. I am glad that you are fighting for your grandson.

[FabGrandma]

The baby who was given the JD is now 11 years old. He still lives with his Dad and step-mother. I just found out about this 3 days ago, and am still angry about it. I know I should be doing something, but I don't know what. I am not in a position to take custody of this child. The mother of the new baby (the stepmother to the 11 year old) will not allow this same thing to happen to her child. She was shocked to learn about my son, her husband, giving it to W.  

When she was telling me about it, I advised her to call the base chaplin and talk to him about it and some other things that are going on.  I decided to wait until tomorrow, to give her time to handle things on her own, before I butted in and did something. If she does not do anything, then I feel that I should step in and call the chaplin myself.

[Lotsatrout]

That's the saddest thing I have ever heard of.  He needs to be reported immediately!  I am not a doctor nor am I associated with the medical field in anyway so there is no way I can tell you medically if the baby will suffer long term effects from the alcohol but it sure wouldn't suprise me if it did.  They are so tender at that age that even a little tiny bit of JD may alter their brain in some way.  I can't believe that someone would do that.  That is absolutely horrible.  I trust that the baby is now in the care of a responsible adult?  You maybe?