Help quitting drinking

[Gavin3113]

I'm a 24 year old male, when i got out of the army september 2nd a little over 3 years ago. My first night back I went an met my family at the bar. Almost 3 years later was the first night that i haven't drank since that day. It started out slow and ended up at at three forths of a liter a night. I started having pains in my organs, pucking, contstantly running to the bathroom. As I sit here and hold my gut all day I hear my little boy running around being the little monster that he can be or the girl that i love and god knows why put up with me all these years. I thought you know what I need to be here for both of them. So i make an apointment at a clinic, because anyone like me really does need help. I go there and i feel stupider than ever because they look at me funny and basically tell me why are you in here for alcohol we got real problems like meth and crack. So i leave and stay sober for a week, 2 weeks ago i sober  up for three days on my own. No withdrawel, never had em. If  I did they were nothing, 4 days later i was in the ER severe withdrawels. They do there tests and i'm fine liver wise, only slightly elevated. they give me a few things and send me on my way. Something wrong with my intestines that can be fixed. I let my friend that been drinking for 25 years almost every day talk me into his made up idea that i'm fine. So I drink for 3 more days, then relize how stupid i was to let my self beleive that garbage. So i stopped today again. I'm the type of person that hasn't went to the doc for years because i can usually handle things so well. You just deal with things is my thought. Today i got sick feeling I never had things became so severe at times that i said i love u more than usuall or got more hugs when i could. Because i honestly feel that if i go to bed i'm not waking up. I tell u what when the bottom falls ut its fast.  It's at that point that thats all my body can do. I can't sleep tonight way to sick and afraid to be honest. I got up and came on the net and found this site and it talked about the risk of seizure from cold turkey. That got me more afraid and i honestly feel this may get worse before it gets better i'm thinking. What do i do ? I read on here that maybe drink a tad so u don't  get   messed up , but only a little bit until u can get a controlled withdrawl from a doc or detox. Don't do benzos, any advice is good everyone.
               If you do drink never let it get to the point that it has for me. This s a hole and with every single drop it gets deeper. I will feel fortunate to walk away from this with my health still enough in tact and with no major problems. Thanks everyone for listening.

[Gavin3113]

Forgot to say i drink three 4ths of a liter in only 4 hours so thats maybe even worse

[uberadtx]

Let me tell you something.  You will die from alcohol withdrawal.  Its the ONLY drug withdrawal with that outcome.  You may FEEL like you will die from Meth/Crack/ Coke/ Heroin withdrawal but you won't.  The ONLY way to get you off alcohol is a safe detox.  Alcoholism is progressive and RAPID.  Believe me, I have been there.  Your 3 outcomes of drinking WILL be jail, institutions or death.  I have seen it first hand.  If you decide to detox and get help now you have a million chances to be the father, lover, husband, son, person you always dream of being.  I am not even lying to you.  I am 6 years clean and sober. I couldn't put 6 minutes together sober.  I was drinking at least 3 liters of wine daily, stealing prescription medication, smoking pot etc. EVERYTHING I NEVER wanted for myself.  I didn't think I had the strength to get sober, nevermind detox.  I was petrified, ashamed, depressed, confused, paranoid in detox and subsequent rehab.  I found help when I didn't think I deserved it.  And I found support when I didn't think I was worth it.  Unbelieveable!  
You have 2 choices now: You can get busy living or get busy dying (I stole that line, but it nails a moment like no other) and I can tell you, that even though you feel like dying, a day is going to come when you are going to be happy to be living.  Hang in There!  Keep me posted PLEASE!

[uberadtx]

BTW, Thank You for serving in the GREATEST military on earth!  I am grateful to you!  You should be soo proud! My Father was Army infantry in WWII, POW in the Phillipines.  Your service is his legacy.

[working dog]

it's neat to see guy's like you looking for help.....first ...watch out the withdrawls can be real bad and can last a few months phisicaly and a year or more mentaly....i think because you are young you'll make it through in less time....you can kill yourself so i would get to a doctor and be watched for the first 3 weeks .... if you can see the doctor longer....i'm 55 and stopped drinking one third of a fith of vodka a night...i didn't get any help and night after night i had my house cleaned...stuff picked up...all that cause when i went to bed i wasn't sure i would be there in the morning and i didn't want to leave a mess for my kids to find and clean up....the first 3 days are easy...it,s after that that things get nasty....my nightmares were enough to kill someone...i wasn't sure if i was awake or not for the longest time..mentaly things were horrible...my intestines were in so much pain for three months....for me after 4 months things got a lot better..it's tough and thats how you have to look at it...i would be very open with your wife so she will understand whats going on...and that you realize you need help...you will lose everything in time if you don't quit...and just think of the on going mental brain damage ..it's real and you don't get it all back....anyway see a doctor for help...get a doctor that understands and works with folks that are alcoholics...you'll feel great when you recover..when i went though this i look back and wish i got help..i don't know how i lived through it...i just didn't know anyone and didn't get on a forum...now i look at these forums as life savers as well as keeping famillys together...so stay on the forum as you clean up ....good luck with everything......billy.

[ibizan]

Gavin-uber knows what he's talking about.shame on a clinic that belittled ur problem.there r those out there that won't.have u tried AA?and yes thank u for ur service to this country.I woulda never believed that i woulda given up my liquor/drugs and i'm soon to come up on 24 years minus all.Its work dude...but damn well worth it!u can clean up..u can...u must....and ur son sounds young enuf for u to do this now so he won't hafta witness u as a teen doing the drink.then he may repeat after u.....i know u don't want that!hang in here with us......theres a lotta power thru the support of this forum!

[Gavin3113]

Thanks everyone for the posts the support helps,lol.

[Gavin3113]

I'm having trouble getting to go back to the ER although they were great about it the first time. You see I have no insurance so this makes it harder to go and keep going because of the finacial hole that is being dug. I went to detox today and they said that the bad part was probably over because of how well i felt at the moment. So they said i could go home and i was lucky this time. So I come home feeling happier because i know i won't need to call into my job because of the 48 hour stay at detox. Being the only income provider in the house i can't afford to lose it, my job that is. Then i feel ill again and go about the routine of going into the bed room and lying there for the rest of the night. Everytime i would try and fall asleep it would feel like a wave sensation going over me and then i would go into lala land and all the sudden i would snap out of it. At first i tried and fight it because the feeling was one that scared the hell out of me. But i kept telling myself that i have to sleep so i was able to go to work. So i eventually gave into it more and more. All the sudden i woke up and said to my girl "what the @!*# was that". I started to shake pretty hard but only for a few seconds, not the shakes but my whole body jerked around for a few seconds. That was followed up by the worst "shake" shakes that i have experienced to this point of this whole ordeal lasting maybe ten minutes. No tempurture or anything scared the hell out me though. Can anyone tell me maybe what had happened. I called ER they said i could come in but seemed kind of on the fence about it. They said i have a four hour period to act if i choose to.

Thank you everyone        

[ibizan]

are u drinking at all?smoking pot?any other drugs?if not the PAWS....goggle this..Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome.it happens after folks stop drinking who drank large amounts of alcohol.....and even more so with large amounts of liquor.u got a free clinic round u?sometimes the docs in there good and will prescribe non-habit forming medication to ease u thru this.U do need a support group 2...how about AA?if u consume a lot of caffeine and sugary foods this will aggravate what ur feeling.fresh fruits vegetables lean meats......decent diet will aid u 2 feel better.Remember u didn't get this way overnite and its gonna take TIME for u to feel and THINK better.

[Gavin3113]

no no other drugs and no alcohol. i feel good today so far, will lookinto AA. Also no free clinics around so i'll stick it out. Thanks for the support and help

[walternowotny]

What you had are typical seizures associated with withdrawal.Short(usually few seconds),tonic-clonic,generalized(the whole body) without loss of consciousness(you are fully aware of it).There is no change of mental status,no significant confusion,no fyzical pain.They usually happen 2-4th day of the withdrawal.Most often they happen when you are falling asleep of going from one phase of sleep into another.It is not DT(delirium tremens)...that is a good news.Bad news is that very shortly you may get auditory hallucinations.If you finally fall asleep you probably will have a very vivid dreams.
Another good news is that your LFT's(liver function tests) are only slightly elevated,you didn't say anything about bleeding,swelling etc.
Hang it there!If you need to go to the ER don't warry about insurance.They will have to take care of you.And don't worry about the bill......Take care of yourself.
Walter

[ibizan]

Glad to hear ur feeling somewhat better.please keep us posted..do u have any sober friends?or friends that don't have the ISM we do?AA/NA were tremendous support sytems for me!hang in there dude!

[uberadtx]

Dont freak out if you start feeling depressed and question what you are doing.  Its all part of getting sober. Take a really good multi-vitamin and eat consistently.  Alcohol depletes you in many ways especially of Vitamin B and Niacin.  Just getting those vitamins in you can help.  I remember I craved sugar because of the amount of alcohol I consumed, my body was missing it.  Try to keep that intake low.  As funny as it sounds, the snack packs of lorna doones and oreos seemed to satisfy that sugar hit but don't eat too much of them. It takes a long time to get the alcohol out of the body and even longer for it to leave your spirit.  Drink lots of water and fruit juices and take it easy. The advice you are getting here is good and not just from me! hehehhee Definately get in touch with AA/NA, its a great resource.  And keep coming back here, let us know whats going on.

[ibizan]

Gavin-was thinking of u last nite wondering how ur doing!uber givin u good advice...alcohol depletes potassium in bod too..bananas good source of this!Now is time of year for apples...good source of vitamin c,potassium,anti-oxidants and natural sugar!

[dark69meat]

Mmm, I normally eat a lot of bananas, apples and carrot cake; maybe that's why I'm still alive!

[ibizan]

u still alive cuz ur big ornery cuss and have good diet..alcohol free diet now!

[dark69meat]

Oh yeah, that too..;-)

[Gavin3113]

ty every one for the support srry for not posting times are ...well u all know. keep up the the feed back it all helps ty. Without all of u and all of the support from this forum i don't know what i may have done. U all are great and good ppl for what and how u stay on top of the ppl reaching out and needin help here. Things are gettin better and u all have been a huge part of it ty.

[ibizan]

so good 2 hear from u.been wondering how u r!nice to hear theres improvement.Please keep us posted!!!!

[jo929]

You are so young Your whole life is ahead of you go to AA it does not cost anything and if you feel like you want a drink call them and they will come to you and talk they are a great bunch of people just what you may need plus these people who all give good advice and listen there is a great life out there. just make up your mind or you will go down down. i hope you go up and hang in there i day at a time  lots luck   jo
also all of you guys and gals i think Loke liver cancer needs some friends startin now so help him live with his problem i know you can . all of you appear to be great    again happy thanksgiving

[jo929]

i just read about liver cancer i think what he is really looking for is friends if that is the way i read this so everyone take time out to ans please thanks everyone                                          jo

[Gavin3113]

It should not of happened but i fell off because the feelings associated with the detox next thing u know the ambulance is driving u to the ER znd ur in the "room" in the ER that they put the most important "issues" in. So they hook me up to the moniters and after stabilizing they moved me in a room with a TV!!! lol (sorry that was the highlight of my day then football was on) So they gave me a persciption this time, it was librum but i did'nt now they were benzos till days after taking them. So i sit here now still waiting for insurance and when times do get tough i do pop a benzo or have few beers( depending on what feelings decide to arise) I feel stuck my body hurts my panic attacks keep me from sleep. I haveno friends just one thats been drinking for well older than i am. He's at a point now that he needs to tell himself who he is when he wakes up because he's that far into it. Funny part is he can quit with no withdrawels. I suppose that's the alcoholic lottery some can go on forever almost and some can't get far into it without the complcations that a lot of us have' had or still are enduring. I'm scared and my kidneys liver well every part of body has sharp pains at one point or another throughout the day. I.m telling everyone now about my problem not hiding behind eveything like the past. i'm not afraid any more about telling people that i see every day about my problem. I feel that's a positive step. I am lookinginto in-patient treatment centers but need the state insurance.  Wish that someone could go with me to aa but looks like i'll have to do that one on my own. I feel that all the reaching out is a big step to improvment and i'm getting there everyone. From the very first post this was the begining of the end whether i fell off or not. I know i'm going to get throught this even if i get the insurance and i find out bad news about my organs. No matter matter whatever day god takes me i will not be drunk!! I have come to love eveyone of u and this forum possibly saved my life. I appriciate every post comment or whatever anyone has to say it's all a bonus to me and my life now. I really don't know what to say to really make everyone know what this forum has meant to me but I LOVE U ALL AND TY!!!!!!!!!!!!  

[ibizan]

yeegads boi!mixing alcohol and benzos?that could stop ur heart..no scare tactic here!i wish u'd go to county outpatient substance abuse facility......get counseling,get in support group.....they have funding for those with no $$$$ of low sliding fee scale if u work..i work for one.....u have a child and girl whose stood by u dude!c'mon please for them?and u?we're all different..ur not ur friend.....go to outpatient for starters!

[walternowotny]

Benzo and alcohol is extremely dangerous!Next time you may not wake up!
My mother who died 6 months ago because of complications of alcoholic liver failure almost died several times(not to mention numerous injuries,concussions etc) because she was mixing different benzodiazepines(Diazepam,Rohypnol),benzo-like meds like Ambien and alcohol.
Good luck
Johann

[walternowotny]

Benzodiazepines are very dangerous for anybody with history of alcohol abuse.They work in a similar fashion as alcohol and many alcoholics substitute one for another.They do help with withdrawals but they are also very addictive.And they do not work too long.You have to increase the dose soon to achieve the effect.
They also can damage liver.
Walter (AKA Johann)