Hi everyone,
I wanted to get your opinions on my situation. My grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's approxmately half a year ago. Since then my siblings and I (I have one older brother and one older sister) have been visiting her at her house, taking her on outtings, and making sure she takes her meds, with my sister spending the most time with her. I am currently finishing my last semester in grad school and my schedule is a bit hectic with an internship and commuting, so I see her approximately 3 times a week.
Growing up, my family life was filled with abuse and neglect on the part of my parents and some relatives. I am not very close to my family (with the exceptions of my siblings) I have a very strained relationship with my parents (divorced), but am better off keeping it that way. I have always wanted to move away from San Francisco and explore I want to be able to start a new chapter of my life. My grandmother moved in with my siblings and I when I dad moved away when I was 10. She took care of us, but still had emotional problems of her own that she took out on us, but I knew she loved us.
Sorry to babble, but I just want to give you guys the background story. My problem is that I want to move to New York in about half a year. I currently live in San Francisco with my siblings and my dad. (I know it might seem odd that I live with my dad, consiering we barely speak, but I moved back home from college when I was 22 and have been in the rat race to make money and complete grad school ever since(I am not 26). My goal has always been to leave this city and distance myself from a majority of my family, in hopes of being a happier person that i currently am. At this time in my life, I would like to explore the world around me. I have never been on a vacation, never left the country, and feel like it's high time that I live my life! However, with my grandmothers diagnosis, I don't know what to do. I have a feeling that my sister will become her primary caretaker (despite the fact that my dad and three uncles also live in the city, and visit her on a weekly basis). I know how stressed and upset I feel when my grandmother is having a bad day (which is most of the time) and can imagine how my sister feels. I don't know if my sister will resent me if I move away, I see her voluntarily taking on more responsibility. She is not the type who would express her feelings, and she knows of my plans to move (she's known about it for years) and has not said anything about it.
So, bottom line: AM I BEING SELFISH? I am open to your advice, and would appreciate constructive criticism. Thanks!