Possible help & peace for all of you who care for or love someone with Alzheimer's Disease

[Jacqui805]

Although I have not worked for several years, and have forgotten much, I am still a nurse.  I chose to work with the elderly, and so, I often cared for those with Alzeimer's Disease, both young AND old actually.  

I learned a few things during that time, and I wanted to pass some things on to you all, that might help you and your loved one.

Although the memory of someone suffering from A.D. is affected, their long-term memory is usually intact.  This can be a great asset to use to connect with them and to give THEM some peace.  Caregivers need to remember that someone with A.D. can not only be confused, but so scared.  Their world no longer makes sense to them, and if you are trying to reorient them, this only serves to make them more agitated and and frightened.  When your loved one is agitated, try talking about their lives long ago.  They often still have these memories, and you might even learn something about your loved one that you didn't know.  Ask how they met their mate, and get details about their dates and such.  If your mother or other female loved one suffering is hell-bent on wondering where for instance, her baby is, rather than telling her her baby is all grown up, please try telling her that her baby is safe.  Tell her something like, "Mom, I'm sorry I forgot to tell you but So-and-so (a trusted person) has the baby b/c she missed her so, or is buying her new shoes, or whatever makes sense in your situation.  

It is very upsetting when your relative no longer recognizes you.  You feel so alone and disconnected from them.  You may not have the relationship with them that you once did, but you CAN still connect with them.  This is an example of looking at the glass as being half-full.  Keep with those long-term memories your loved one still has and connect with your relative on THAT basis.  You may hear things that are just charming, or allow you to see your relative in a whole new light....a light that you'd never have seen if they hadn't got A.D.  

Above all, just be as patient as you can and remember that becoming disoriented is a frightening experience.  Since your loved one will not recover his or her memory, it serves no purpose to try to re-orient them...Use what you can, and try to bring some sense of peace to them and learn to connect with them in a new way.  Also, please remember to take care of yourself.  Places that provide respite care, so you can have a break, whether regularly scheduled or just once in a while, can do you a world of good.  

Jacqui

[mill123436]

reading some of your replys i am not alone. i look after my husband with help from my son in law and daughter. but its very hard at times not get angry. iam 71 my husband is 76.

[Milkcan]

I think, like all others things....there are good days
and bad days.  Thank God for the good.

[Cherie762]

i just mentioned some of what you said to one of my friends, My Grandmother had alztimers, she knew my Dad from a thirty year old photo, almost till her death, but never knew the grey haired man who visited was her son. We just had to accept what we could not change.

One thing I have always not understood, is it true that, these patients have an occasional good day, it would make no medical sense to me, but honestly seemd a few days that Grandma was much more alert and even knowing of her visitors.? Is this just what we want to see, or do Alz, pts. sometimes get a "good day'?  just curious, I like to understand things, Cherie

[margypops]

Thank you for this input I am sure it will help a lot of folks not knowing how to handle their situation, all you say makes sense, I am hoping that there will soon be a break through in new medication,and this terrible illness can be alleviated .