Hallucinations?

[irisflower76]

Hi, I've been diagnosed with Borderline personality in the past.  I've been through therapy, etc.  and have been hospitalized against my will several times within the last 3 years but the mental health system is a joke where I live.  Also, I do not believe in taking psychotropic medicine.  I would like to say that I'm doing better depression-wise, no stress or anxiety, not as many mood swings, and don't cut anymore (but the urges are there & i can't be around sharp objects because of the temptation).  Recently, however, after the first of the year, I've been seeing people who arent there...they are further away in my vision (often peripheral) then gone in a flash.  This happens a lot to me when I shuttle drive (i work for a local dealership).  This happens daily & often.  I don't hear voices though.  I am very spiritual (New Age) so I'm confused...is this part of my awakening or is this a mental illness?  FYI, I don't drink or do drugs and I get plenty of sleep.  I want to talk to someone about this.  I don't have a regular doctor or therapist so I was going to discuss this with my gynocologist ARNP on thursdays appointment.  However, I am afraid to tell her in fear that she will have me involuntarily hospitalized (this has happened several times in the past).  Do I tell her or should I not tell her?  And if I do tell her, what are my chances of being baker acted (involuntarily commited for a psych exam)??    I think I'm just advancing spiritually though...maybe seeing angels, spirit guides, & parallel universes.  Your advice would be appreciated.

[Bridget A. Hewitt, RN]

Hi and thanks for using the forum.

Let me start by saying that I do not have any psychiactric nurse experience except for the rotations that I did in school.  

I think you should bring this up to your gyn and tell him/her that you would like to talk with someone about this and could they recommend someone to you.  If they don't have a recommendation for a therapist or psychiatrist you can ask for a recommendation for a general practitioner and get a referral from them.  The important thing is that you talk with someone about this.

As far as the medications are concerned, you certainly have a right to take or not take medication.  However, psychiactric illnesses are exactly that- Illnesses.  Sometimes, when we are illl we need to take medication.  There is no shame/weakness in this and if that is the reason you don't want to take medication you may want to reconsider.  If your symptoms are negatively affecting your quality of life then intervention can be key.  Good Luck.

Bridget  

[irisflower76]

oh, and I'm 33 years old.  Thank you for your time.