Immaturity connected to autism

[shaz71]

Hi i have a 6yr old daughter she is very immature for her age, she tantrums like a 2yr old, teacher also says she is very touchy feely and wants to still hold hands like a nursery/reception child would. She as a lot of strange behaviours going on, like for instance family she will not greet only sometimes and that is done shyly and then other times she is overly greeting to strangers and clings to them, she shouts a lot as if she is deaf and misunderstands and repeats some words and sentences differently. She also can be quite hyper but not all the time she tends to be ok in morning and as the day get on she gets worse and worse. She doesn't like busy places and plays up more. She as strange interest in toys she is obsessed with dinosaurs and dragons, she has book, videos, toys she has had this since very young, she likes the unusual, ie snakes, spiders, bats, owls not normal for a girl. She is struggling in school, she is seeing a speech and language therapist to assess her speech they said her speech spoken is within normal perameters for her age but they want to assess her receptive language and understanding so they are going to assess her in school, they also mentioned that she is going into her own world, do you think she could be on the autistic spectrum as she does tick quite a lot of the boxes? Sharon

[shaz71]

Hi Sally i meant to post in the expert forum but for some reason it posted hear it always says it as had enough posts, but anyway some good news i told you that she is being assessed by speech and language for further assessment in school like you said to assess her understanding of language. I went to see my health visitor today, i see her due to my younger child who also has behavioural problems but at the minuite due to her being under 2 they will just dismiss it she will kick bite pull hair, punch, nip, push if she doesn't get her own way but sometimes she will pull hair and watch your face to see your reaction. She also really fights to get dressed every day is a battle with the pair of them. Anyway i said Zoe is already under a peadiatrician due to reflux and allergies so i aren't concerned about her as yet as they said they will keep an eye on her behaviour, but that i was concerned about Melissas behaviour so she said she will have a chat with the speech and language therapist and also talk to camhs which is childrens mental health services which as all the services needed for an assesment. So i am hoping they will look at her and see what is happening.  Melissa is fine with her peers but she is in their faces that is why i thought she might be deaf as she shouts a lot. Anyway thanks a lot i will let you know if anything else happens. Sharon x

[Sally44]

Does your daughter get upset at changes in the environment eg. if you move furniture around or introduce something new into the house, or if you decorated in the past what was her response.
I remember you posted about an incident when she appeared not to recognise her grandma when you met her whilst out shopping.  Google 'face blindness', I think it is called prosopoagnosia.  This is something some autistics have.  It means they find it hard to recognise people from their face.  There are differing degrees of this from mild to severe.  So your daughter might be able to recognise grandma when she meets her in her house, but might not automatically recognise her in a different setting.  Children with this difficulty tend to use coping strategies such as remembering a person from their perfume or what clothes they wear, or how they walk etc.  If that information also changes they can get very upset.  
Being overly friendly with strangers might be down to not knowing social interaction rules of how to behave with family and friends as opposed to strangers.
I think I mentioned the book Sensory and Perceptual Differences in Autism and Aspergers.  The questionnaire at the back might be useful to complete as it would help you see which senses are most affected.  The touchy feeling thing might be tactile.  If her visual sense also doesn't give her all the information she needs, she may also rely alot on touching and how things and people 'feel'.
If she is repeating words or phrases from TV or other people then you need to tell the SALT that as it is echolalia and this means her understanding of speech is not as good as her expressive speech.  School also need to be aware of this and the implications of it as she may use a phrase she has heard which might sound rude and could get into trouble for it.  For example another mother posted that her child had got into trouble because one day at school the teacher was absent.  Someone in the class said 'lets have a party', to which this boy replied 'lets get a stripper'.  He had heard that phrase on Scrubs when there had been a party during that particular episode.  So for him, saying 'lets get a stripper', was an appropriate thing to say because he heard it said in similar situation on TV.  Does that make sense?
Regarding social immaturity.  Those on the spectrum appear immature because they are.  They haven't learnt the social interaction skills or appropriate behaviour that other children have.  So they stick with what they know.  They need specific social skills to be taught to them and for social interactions to have structure.  So if they want your daughter to go and play with other children they will have to put enough structure in place to enable her to do that.  For my son they let him choose between two activities before playtime.  He then chooses 'who' he will do it with.  The teacher already has a list of willing students who will play anything with him.  Once he knows 'what' he will play and with 'whom' he will play it he is okay.  But if he just goes into the playground without this structure he does not initiate play and just walks around on his own.