Bad idea to go off medication? (read to understand)

[xXTychoXx]

Hey, I'm 20 years old and I've been on many medications since I was 16. I take 1200 Lithium and 3 small pills of Risperadone every night before I go to sleep. The thing is though, since I've been on these pills for about over a year now, I feel bad all the time. Tired, lazy, unmotivated and so on. And on top of that I was slim, now I'm 40 pounds heaver, and sufficient to say my physical health effects my mental as well.
The weight isn't even the bad thing about it, like I said briefly before I don't feel like doing anything, it makes it so sometimes talking i have to force. I don't enjoy the things as much as i did before, though i try to. I just don't know what to do, so I'm thinking of not taking them anymore and just dealing with it, I even doubt the diagnosis of bi-polar sometimes because I think personally the life experience I've gain over these years has helped me more than pills ever could. And the troubles in youth that had stemmed from insecurity and anguish within caused by outside factors such as social anxiety,shyness and fear of crowds which I'm very good with now. I doubt it was solely the medication that was helping me, it was me going out there and kicking the crap out of the phobias.

But anyways, basically i just want to feel good again. The times when I was younger and pill free were the best times of my life. times when I loved doing the things I do. I cant paint which is something I loved to do but i cant do it well, so I don't want to do it at all because I have tremors from the medication, even with Propranolol.
I don't get enjoyment out of anything really, and when I do it's because I have to try and just do it. But I don't want to do that all my life.

What i was thinking of doing was stop taking the meds and get on a exercise schedule and eat well and so on, get slim and fit and actually feel good about my self instead of being a Jaba the hut blob that sits around all the time.

Think its worth a try?
Any help would be greatly appreciated

Cheers
Tycho

[run4you]

Hey there.
At 20, I decided to go off of my Depakote because I'd gained 50 pounds, and I, too, was exhausted, lethargic and basically slept all the time. Sure, getting off the Depakote stopped those. But...
The next 8 years I spent trying to just get by. I didn't see it at the time, but looking back, I was not okay. I, too, rejected my bipolar diagnosis the ENTIRE time, thinking I could handle it. I couldn't, I just felt like I could.

I have found the right medicine, and now know that I could have just told my pdoc I needed something different and been perfect. When I finally accepted bipolar as a fact, I took care of myself.

If I could go back, I would kick my own hiney for just stopping. I feel like my family and friends suffered because I decided I was fed up, when all I had to do was talk to one person - my pdoc - and switch my meds.

Good luck - I have BTDT for sure. Don't make the same mistake I did...

[Seph1212]

I have found the Lamictal doesn't dull me. Depakote was another matter. Lamictal also has a mild appetite suppressant effect in me. Besides a diet change, I've lost a much needed 30 lbs. in the past 9 months.

Lamictal doesn't negatively impact my creativity either...something I was worried about. Actually, since it helps to organize my thinking, I'm able to finish projects.

Resiperdone (besides lithium) could also be the culprit to your tiredness, weight gain, and dullness. Why do you take it? Sleep? Agitation? Strange thinking? My sleep has never been better than on Lamictal. I fall asleep when my head hits the pillow and get a solid 6 to 8 hours of sleep.

Anyway, don't drop the meds. Just find the right one.

PS. I'm not a paid shill for Lamictal. It's just the right med for me.

[Csandnugget]

Starbunny - too true.
People with BP have a totally different view of their memories, the world around them, perception of themselves, etc - depending on their moods.
It's like Jeckyl and Hide.
The only problem is - when your 'bad' side is in control (when you are out of control)
- it usually means big trouble.
Starbunny is right - you are probably feeling so strong BECAUSE of your meds - the weight issue may be your strongest motivator to leave your meds.

I'm on Lamotrigine and Nuzak and I have actually lost a few kilos.

Zyprexa and Risperdal turned me into an eating MACHINE.
But you will know, it is a process to find the right meds, just keep going at it.
When you get a new prescription - ask the chemist if you can only have 5 tablets, and if you hate the outcome (ie. excessive eating) you can call the pdoc adn ask them to change it as you don't like the outcome.
Doc can fax to the pharmacy - try 5 ... instead of buying box after expensive box of pills

[lady67]

I was on cymbalta and when it was stopped, (immediately) I wanted to commit suicide.  I ended up in a hospital where I was diagnosed to have bipolar disorder.  I was placed on 10 mg of Abilify and it is amazing how such a tiny pill can regulate your body and mind.  I have been getting up at 6 every morning and doing "normal" daily things; something I haven't done in years.

[Athena_M]

I know exactly how you feel and at your young age it's hard to believe that you have bipolar.  
It's NOT a good idea to go off of your meds.  I would recommend you talk to your doctor and maybe he/she can change something so that you will feel better.
You can still try to do some exercise in the evenings when the medication is kinda wearing off.  Maybe your tremors won't be so strong in the evenings so you can paint.  
You can still try to eat well, try a food diary a lot of people on psych meds have success with losing weight doing that.  
Hope you feel better.  

[bpchrisb]

I know that dealing with the SEs of medications can feel worse than the illness itself; or at least it seems that way. I have many friends who have pulled themselves off of medications (myself included) for one reason or another and we've all paid for it in the end..I was just on Celexa for a awhile, pulled myself off of it, felt great for a month, but then started having serious issues.. I had lost 30 pounds when I took myself off of it; when I had to get back on, I gained 50 pounds. And I did so in the space of two months, while exercising and watching my diet. I had taken myself off of Celexa before, for the very same reasons you described. I figured that a good diet and exercise were my 'cure'.

Here's my suggestions:

1. Don't pull yourself off of your medication, unless a shrink is willing to work with you in doing so. Even then, it's a risky situation; I became very, very suicidal when I took myself off of Celexa.

2. Look into different medication combinations; there are many out there that don't cause weight gain and you can even lose quite a bit of weight on them. Topamax is one of them, if you can tolerate the cognitive dulling.

3. Please, don't try to self-diagnose yourself. It's not good for you, or your relationship with your shrink. My shrink is very laid back and we have a good relationship, but there are things that I do and say that put a strain on it. It's tough to keep their 'God-complex' in check; the only way to do so is to really work with them to get better.

I don't mean to paint a terrible picture here, but, IMO, it is the reality of the situation. One of my best friends pulled themselves off of all of their meds; they had a month-long manic spell and were convinced that the meds were evil. Needless to say, they are suffering now because of it. They haven't been able to establish a working dialogue with their shrink because they weren't med compliant. And, because they were doing a little bit of drinking over that month, they are now viewed as a substance abuser.

[starbunny]

I think perhaps we can all relate here a bit to being fed up with medications at some point, for one reason or another. For all their relief and even life saving abilities they also can involve some kind of loss or sacrifice and it is not always easy or possible or fair when one faces these sorts of options. Another thing is that when a person is well, their perspective of the past also changes according to mood. For instance when I am well I start thinking, 'well it wasn't that bad before medications (because I am feeling positive), and I tend to forget or deny the suffering, and the opposite happens when I am ill - I tend to see it was all bad/terrible - because I 'feel' bad..

As a consequence it is easy to fall into a pattern of thinking that stopping or reducing medications is a natural next step. For a small percentage of people reducing is the right thing (under supervision). However be aware that the medication may be the reason that you are so well, so you must be mindful of the risk.

From what you say, there are side effects that you are not happy with. Therefore you must honestly weigh up the advantages and disadvantages of continuing to take this medication. If the disadvantages are greater you must explain the reasons to your pdoc. The thing about bipolar meds is there are a lot of them and different combinations so it is very possible that a different combo / dose may alleviate some of these effects. For instance some meds do not have weight gain as a side effect.

The most important thing is to get your point accross to the pdoc as clearly as possible and work with him, explain your frustrations. The reason I say this is that I have been in a similar frame of mind to yourself lately and I tinkered about with my meds unsupervised, which I now regret. I am going to take my own advice, lol!, now when I see the pdoc in about 2 weeks.

[ILADVOCATE]

Basically medication is neccessary but cognitive confusion and weight gain can be a problem for some people with many medications. As regards mood stabilizers, Lamictal is less likely than lithium to cause either of those two side effects and with antipsychotics, Abilify, Fanapt and Saphris are the least likely to cause weight gain but of course each person responds differently to each medication. This is a list of mood stabilizers in use:
http://www.psycheducation.org/depression/meds/moodstabilizers.htm