Aa
I dnt wana go to my psychiatrist any more
I haven't gone for months bcuz everyone I go she makes me take more medication nd I'm tired of it! I wana stop takin them completely! I take wellbutrin sum other one nd geodon! I'm sick of medication I sumtimes think the medication is wats causin all my mood swings nd the fact tat I'm always so nervous nd my stomach feels really bad! I get really bad headaches too! I just ahh! I'm sick of all this! I dnt feel normal ne more! I dnt even knw wat normal is ne more! I use to sum wat like being bipolar bcuz of the high u get wen ur manic! But the downs r super sucky yo! I just can't take it! I need a break of this! I always feel bad nd right now i get delusional nd start thinking scruples against me! Nd y the hell r pple posting things here tat rnt bipolar I mean this is a BIPOLAR section right?! Ahh ok I'm just tired of evrything nd I DON'T. Want to go to a stupid pshyc! I'm already crzy enough nd going to see a doc about it makes me feel even more crzy!
I've made the appointment already! Nd the reason y I said tat wasn't bcuz I dislike my psychiatrist it's jst cuz I'm tired of goin to one! But lately I've been feeling pretty bad nd idk if I'm thee only one wit this but I keep having a lot of sexual impulses! I dnt think there's any medication for tat! But idk how to control it sumtimes! I've also had an episode wre I went out runnin frm my house bcuz my Sis got me really mad nd I couldn't control my self! Ahh I jst wish I wouldn't b bipolar! Nd I knw a lot of us who r bipolar wish this nd it might sound a little kidish to say this bcuz this problem won't go away by jst asking it to do so! Thnx a lot for ur support I appreciate all ur comments nd concerns! Nd yes we have lost a lot good pple do to suicide! Hopefully one day this will all end! It gets me sad to think I was going to b one of those good pple we lost do to suicide bcuz I use to get a lot of suicide thoughts but I'm glad it's been a while since I haven't! I jst wish I knew pple tat have the same disorder I do to ask them if they feel the same way I feel bout certain things! But I am glad we have this website were we can share our stories nd try to help eachother! :)
I agree I think feeling this way is part and parcel of the illness, it's a good thing to have a rant, and any psychiatrist will tell you this is the nature of the illness.. I still have moments where I think " am I really Bipolar?" and I have skipped meds and hated them and my doctors, nurses and anyone that was there to help! It's normal but you need to have a good rant about it and then move on...
As iladvocate said anti depressants can make things a lot worse, I am in the UK and my doctors will not prescribe any anti depressant to a Bipolar person, it is contra-indicated. It can lift the depression but it can cause mixed episodes, which are horrible, angry is not the word!!! This could be what is making you feel so angry, and it causes rapid cycling which could be why you are feeling such marked instability..if you feel like not taking the meds, this would be the one I would stop, but it has to be reduced slowly, don't just stop taking it.
It can take years to find the right meds, and sometimes when you do find the right ones, you might find that they need changing again, our illness changes and evolves and sometimes we can manage without meds, but with how you are coming across it certainly doesn't sound like the right time for you.
You have got to have a decent relationship with your psychiatrist in order to get well, so if it really isn't working I'd look into finding a new one.. I do sense that you are on the defense and I think this might be causing a barrier between you and your doctor..
I think you should give it another go, at the end of the day the doctor can prescribe these meds, but they can't force you to take them, you are in control...
I hope you can find some peace :)
As iladvocate said anti depressants can make things a lot worse, I am in the UK and my doctors will not prescribe any anti depressant to a Bipolar person, it is contra-indicated. It can lift the depression but it can cause mixed episodes, which are horrible, angry is not the word!!! This could be what is making you feel so angry, and it causes rapid cycling which could be why you are feeling such marked instability..if you feel like not taking the meds, this would be the one I would stop, but it has to be reduced slowly, don't just stop taking it.
It can take years to find the right meds, and sometimes when you do find the right ones, you might find that they need changing again, our illness changes and evolves and sometimes we can manage without meds, but with how you are coming across it certainly doesn't sound like the right time for you.
You have got to have a decent relationship with your psychiatrist in order to get well, so if it really isn't working I'd look into finding a new one.. I do sense that you are on the defense and I think this might be causing a barrier between you and your doctor..
I think you should give it another go, at the end of the day the doctor can prescribe these meds, but they can't force you to take them, you are in control...
I hope you can find some peace :)
I am guessing by the text message lingo that you are 20 or younger. Correct me if I am wrong on that.
There is a grieving process that comes from having bipolar and it sounds like you are grieving. We don't get a 'break' from bipolar. It doesn't work that way. Medications help, and for me help a lot, but they are not 100%, and they do have side-effects. It took me three years to get on medication that stopped my from being a mess. I tried every antipsychotic and Geodone was the only one that worked although it does cause me some big time restlessness. (Wellbutrin can cause that as well so the combo may be part of what is causing you distress). This is a harsh condition. An unfair condition, but the only choice we have is to learn how to manage it. Medication can take you about 60% there. The other 40% is living a healthy lifestyle and managing your triggers. I am at about 80%. The lifestyle thing I am still working on.
If you go to your psychiatrist they will prescribe medication. It is what they do. And it will be a cost/benefit analysis. Are the side effects (because you will get side effects) worth what it does to my brain. To know this to you have to be fair and give the medication at least a six week trial. Usually at the six week mark many of the side-effects have worn off and you'll be able to tell what side-effects will remain. And you need to be really honest with your psychiatrist about how you are feeling and treat them with a lot of respect. Theirs is not an easy job and I know that 99% of them go into the profession because they care about and truly want to help people. They are one of the lowest paid specialites. Most of them could make a lot more money had they chosen surgery for example.
And I do miss the hypomanias. The early stages at least. The ones where I am me, but moreso. I am witty, I am social, I have energy and get a lot of things done. Who wouldn't want that. But it is an illusion. You think it can last forever, but eventually you swing and the higher you go, the harder the fall. Every high has a low, and sometimes that low can be crushing. Suicide is a big risk. We have lost too many good people do to suicide. It is more of a risk if you are unmedicated.
Grieving takes time. I was diagnosed 4 years ago (although I had it since I was a teenager), and I still grieve the loss of a 'normal' life. I will often ask my husband "do you feel like this?" and quite often he says no. Then I know it is a bipolar thing and not a normal thing.
If you do nothing things will stay the same. If you go back to the psychiatrist and keep trying at least there is hope things will change. And if you don't like your psychiatrist and can change - do. Maybe if you hear the same thing from two doctors is will solidify for you the need to get help. Trying to manage bipolar on your own is like trying to paddle a canoe with your hands. You need the right tools.
There is a grieving process that comes from having bipolar and it sounds like you are grieving. We don't get a 'break' from bipolar. It doesn't work that way. Medications help, and for me help a lot, but they are not 100%, and they do have side-effects. It took me three years to get on medication that stopped my from being a mess. I tried every antipsychotic and Geodone was the only one that worked although it does cause me some big time restlessness. (Wellbutrin can cause that as well so the combo may be part of what is causing you distress). This is a harsh condition. An unfair condition, but the only choice we have is to learn how to manage it. Medication can take you about 60% there. The other 40% is living a healthy lifestyle and managing your triggers. I am at about 80%. The lifestyle thing I am still working on.
If you go to your psychiatrist they will prescribe medication. It is what they do. And it will be a cost/benefit analysis. Are the side effects (because you will get side effects) worth what it does to my brain. To know this to you have to be fair and give the medication at least a six week trial. Usually at the six week mark many of the side-effects have worn off and you'll be able to tell what side-effects will remain. And you need to be really honest with your psychiatrist about how you are feeling and treat them with a lot of respect. Theirs is not an easy job and I know that 99% of them go into the profession because they care about and truly want to help people. They are one of the lowest paid specialites. Most of them could make a lot more money had they chosen surgery for example.
And I do miss the hypomanias. The early stages at least. The ones where I am me, but moreso. I am witty, I am social, I have energy and get a lot of things done. Who wouldn't want that. But it is an illusion. You think it can last forever, but eventually you swing and the higher you go, the harder the fall. Every high has a low, and sometimes that low can be crushing. Suicide is a big risk. We have lost too many good people do to suicide. It is more of a risk if you are unmedicated.
Grieving takes time. I was diagnosed 4 years ago (although I had it since I was a teenager), and I still grieve the loss of a 'normal' life. I will often ask my husband "do you feel like this?" and quite often he says no. Then I know it is a bipolar thing and not a normal thing.
If you do nothing things will stay the same. If you go back to the psychiatrist and keep trying at least there is hope things will change. And if you don't like your psychiatrist and can change - do. Maybe if you hear the same thing from two doctors is will solidify for you the need to get help. Trying to manage bipolar on your own is like trying to paddle a canoe with your hands. You need the right tools.
Geodon made me feel the same way. I went into my pdoc's office finally and just lost it. Told him that I couldn't stand the way I was feeling anymore and I just really didn't even feel human. I was suicidal for sure - I couldn't take it anymore. I felt like I was completely losing my mind and if that's the way that I was going to feel forever I would rather take nothing. He took me off of the Geodon and it made a big difference. I take a low dose of Risperdal with Lamictal (was taking that with Geodon) now and it's better. Geodon was HORRIBLE for me.
Try talking about how the meds are making you feel.
Hope you feel better.
Try talking about how the meds are making you feel.
Hope you feel better.
Yeah, it's not easy to figure out what to do! I hated taking pills more than anything, but I did it to make everyone who was around me all the time happy. I didn't feel like it was really doing that much good, but every one else always told me how much better I was at staying level. But even if you do keep taking meds, you can eventually get off them
Yea well now my pshyc is canceling my medication since I havent seen her for a loOng time! I'm just scared if I go she's gona make me take more! nd I've tried so many different ones nd they all have a side effect tat I hate! It just feels so hard to have a normal life wen I feel like crap! But thnx for understanding nd trying to help! Sooner or later ima have to make a decision to either completely stop taking medication or to keep takin it! Idk!
Yes sometimes it can be stressful seeing a psychiatrist but best to update and inform yourself on the medications you are being prescribed so you can have a conversation with them about appropriate options that would best help you. Also sometimes anti-depressents can in bipolar with bipolar worsen mania and a full mood stabilizer that has efficacy on depression might be more helpful but thats a doctor's decision but its worth speaking about that to them and think back when things started to worsen. Please understand you might have concerns with your psychiatrist but everyone is not against you and its best to try to see if you can step back from that thinking and if you can't discuss it with someone you trust if you are concerned about your psychiatrist. If things aren't working out as they should you could always seek a second opinion but its crucial to follow up.
Hey, I know exactly how you feel, Dear. I've been there before, too. How long has your doctor had you on those meds?? Because when I had started taking my meds to try and even me out, I ended up becoming suicidal instead and just basically decided to shut down. Maybe you're on meds that really aren't what you should be taking. I know that the idea of taking anything that will change you is TERRIFYING, because I would cry at night in fear of losing myself when I found out I hate to take pills. I liked how I was, too, and I thought it was a lot more fun even though the lows were really bad. Once they switched me onto the right pills, though, I was so much better. Now I don't take anything anymore, and I'm happier then I've ever been :) I'm completely level. I really think you should just go in and talk to them about what the meds you're taking are doing to you, and that you need to try something else?
* evryone is against me
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