My husband has bi polar and on effexor xr and on depakorte

[2happykids]

he was diognosed about 4 months ago with bi polar...i understand most of it.,..he is on effexor xr now of depakort er 500 he was just put on that after trying litium his dose.i still see his anger and temper and he can not go a day with out yelling and making my kids cry with his yelling and temper.he never wants to do anything he shows no affection towards me or the kids.he does not even go into the kids room at night and tell them good night i am th eonly one who does and if i say something about it he yells.he never goes anywhere unless he wants something.he nevers plays with the kids (sports etc.)he used to be in the marines but that was 14 years ago.i do everything and anything i can to make him smile or happy but i am telling you this man never smiles AT ALL NEVER.he is very unpleasant to be around.I am glad when he is at work and i dread it when he comes home.he is mad about anything and everything and his temper and attitude is crazy...what do i do

[btsmith]

   I have been treating my bipolar now for 15 years and this sounds to me like another problem.  Bipolar disorder is generally a problem of too much energy or too little.
The manic highs result in manic lows which medication is supposed to level it out.  This guy sounds just ticked off.

[sinster]

let me tell you from experience hon. effexor screwed me up big time did not control my depression it made my anger go through the roof.  i tend to become agressive when i go manic and short tempered. it did somethig awful to my legs it made them cramped. it made me extremely sick.  and tho it could not be proved at the time i lost a baby while on effexor the heart stopped.  and just like me i use to say alot im bored with my m arriage and i want out. but if anything i was frustrated and in many ways still am that my partner and spouse didnt not understand me. tho they tried.  you tend to take out on them. my husband use to get really fed up with my temper . my moods etc. and hes get upset yell sometimes. but in reality when i flared up with my temper even if it seemed dangerous at the time .. i wish he would of just grabbed me ... held me and say calm calm its gonna be ok.   .. its gonna be ok. because sometimes when you get into a state of anger or upset or feel bored etc. its not you dont take it personally its hard i know god i know it is. but the anger the emotions are directed at you but sometimes its at oneself and well. i tend to lash out. even at the ones i love.  but you know what after all is said and done.  all the pills and the therapy. you know what i would find more helpful than anything in the world .. patience uderstanding some loving arms to say. your ok.. i know our ill.  its not your fault im here through it all.  bet he feels the same.


good luck to you. be strong. dont give up on him .

[2happykids]

i have seen so much of this bipolar..not sure what else to do he seems so unhappy and has told me he is bored and unhappy with our marriage.it is really hard for me to get him to take his meds and the mood swings i cant do anymore.he has threatened me and my life before he has cheated and i honestly think he is again.he seems so unhappy he never smiles or wants to do anything.he even turns the sexual part down he rather watch tv...i understand most of the bipolar stuff but i am living in hell with my 2 kids...anyone please help

[Venora Moonwind]

well If you threaten to leave him you must follow it thorugh.  there are many places you can go to get help. you do not have to be livivng is such an abusive situattion. Do you want your children witnessing this and loosing repect for you and maybe  following in his footsteps as they get older? I know it is up to you but why should you be the one to leave?  You can have reatraining order put on him and make him be the one to leave. Of course it is up to you what you decide to do and when you have had enough of this behavior I hate to say this but if he has tried to kill you once he will probably try again. If it wereme I would get him out and go from there.keep in touch to let me know you are allright.
Love Venora

[2happykids]

Yes he has therapy also.He decided to get help after he tried killing me a year ago.We seperated for a while and he got help and now we are back to gether and I dont know what it will take what meds or what to make him change.He laughs at me or yells when i say i am leaving Because he knows i have no where to go.The doctor has changed his meds and raised the mg and still his attitude and temper and all is bad.when he is at work he is fine he calls me and is so sweet but the minute he walks in the door boom he hits as* hole stage and i wish he would go back to work..half the time he does not take him meds.and that makes me so mad.I called his doctor 1 time and told them how and what he was doing and the doctors calls us in gets our money and raises his dose a bit..UGH!!

[Venora Moonwind]

Ishe taking his meds and going to therapy? It takes both to get bi polar under control. you will have to make it clear to him that his behavior is unacceptable. He must get the help he needs or have him move out or you leave. I know thats sounds harsh but you have to make it clear to him his behavior will not be tolerated or suffer the consequences. you have to be firm with bi polars and get through to them in a way they will understand. I was given this option my self 7 years ago and I chose to get help with meds and therapy.it wouldnt be a bad idea for you to get counseling as well as this is very on hard on you and the family. you and yours are in my prayers. stay in touch.
Love Venora