My husbant STOPPED taking all his meds--Help!

[vsantos]

   As most of you know my husband has been taking Risperdal and Depakote for the pat 7 months (after being diagnosed with Bipolar--after trying to commit suicide, having a Major Manic Episode/ extremely psychotic and paranoid).

  This past few week I noticed he was getting more depressed that he has been for the past 2 months and than last week he got this 'boost' of energy and excitement started calling his old contact looking for a job and started a new job Friday, worked hard that day, worked again on Saturday and on Sunday went to the beach to do his favorite sport 'kite surfing' all things that he hasn't done in 7 months!!!!

   I wish I could say these are just positive/good changes that show me he is getting better, but I thought the 'good changes' / the boost in energy were to sudden. then today I almost 'demanded' him to answer my question as to whether he was taking his meds. He told me he has been tapering off his meds (with he help of his cousin who is a psychologist)....but his Psychiatrist doesn't know yet!

    I don't know what to do...I am very upset (not at him) because I've read many times that this is what patients do, as they start feeling better they think they don't need the meds (he said I was only taking these meds to please everyone and to show you all I don't have anything!)....But I' Angry at the who System, all his doctors who 'swear' by this Confidentiality Crap (my husband did not allow /give permission for his doctors t talk to me)....but to what degree should we Obliged by these Confidentiality Rules, when the Patients lives at home with a 3 year old....knowing that for the past  7 months there were time I had to stay out of the house because of his rage, and that once I had to get my daughter out of the house in the middle of night because he came home so Out of It and angry that made me afraid!!!!
     When do we draw the line and start thinking about the welfare, not only of the patient, but of the family around him (a child!).

    Please any word of wisdom, in a more practical sense, once a patient in his situation tapers off all meds....how quickly can he fall back into being Manic or Depressed, what signs should I watch for?

   I'm so disappointed at him!
   Thanks

[james361]

Get out while you still have your sanity , never thought I would say this about another human being but they are evil and when they are done sucking the life and sanity out of you they will shut you out . Get out and dont look back.

[SPANKIE182]

GOING THROUGH THE SAME EXPERIENCE, BUT I HAVE 2 KIDS, I AM DON'T HAVE THE MONEY TO MOVE. I AM TOTALLY LOST , HE STOPPED TAKING MEDS, THREATED TO BURN THE HOUSE , HE TOLD ME HE HATES ME, HATES OUR OLDEST SON AND INGNORES THE OTHER SON, HOUSE IS IN FORCLOSURE HIS FAMILY WONT HELP UNTIL HE HITS ROCK BOTTOM.POLICE HAVE BEEN CALLED SO MANY TIMES BY NEIGHBORS DUE TO HIS RAGE. I NEED ADVICE,THINGS ARE GOING FROM BAD TO WORSE VERY QUICKLY..

[Seph1212]

ooops my comment was meant for the original poster not bpchrisb.

[Seph1212]

I would think that the ethics of confidentiality only require his doctor not to talk to you, they don't prevent you from talking to his doctor.

Also if your husband has some Seroquel or other antipsychotic on hand you might try to convince him to take a good dose of it, say on a weekend when he can take some down time. Maybe that will break him out of it so he'll be able to see the need to take his mood stabilizer.

[bpchrisb]

I would like to be able to say something soothing here, but you and your family are in dangerous waters here.

Now, it's never good when someone who's BP to pull themselves off of their medications; but it happens again and again. Honestly, with the severity of your husband's condition and given the fact that he's pulling the confidentiality crap, I would start making steps towards getting out of the house.

The problem is, you don't know when a BP episode will turn on, especially if he's cycling quickly. There aren't many signs to watch for, because it's unpredictable. In my case, I feel normal for a few days (not manic), go into work and swear that I am going to keep on going. But, my mood turns on me suddenly and I am out of action for awhile. Honestly, if he turns suddenly and becomes violent, call the police and get out of the house; he will be committed involuntarily. They won't let him out until he stabilizes and it sounds like that's going to take awhile.

But, the confidentiality stuff goes out the window when someone is a danger to themselves or others; you can call his shrink and let them know what's going on. You don't have to ask about anything, but you can tell them that he's coming off of his meds and that he's be very irrational. I would do all of that after giving yourself some distance from him.

Also, on the most serious note; make sure that the docs know that a PSYCHOLOGIST is helping him taper off of his meds. That's not just irresponsible, it's grounds for them to lose their license. No psychologist should be dinking around with medication, even if the shrink knows about it. That's the shrink's job. I would file a grievance with the AMA against the guy; he shouldn't be allowed in the field.

But, I would get out of the situation as fast as you can, make the appropriate phone calls and don't hesitate the call the police IMMEDIATELY if he becomes irrational or violent in anyway. The police take violence and mental illness very, very seriously. It sounds like the only way to get your husband to accept his issue and to deal with it is to take drastic, drastic measures..

Unfortunately, I am speaking from experience.. My psychotic break took the form of violent, delusional paranoia and I was very lucky to not only make it out of the ICU, but out of the psychiatric center, period. The threat of being sent to the state mental institution was the only thing that forced me to pull my head out of my a-- and accept my problem and get the help I needed.