PLZZZZZZZ HELP!!

[real1992]

I am sooooo frustrated. I don't mean to sound like I'm whining or complaining but I can't take much more. My 14 yr old is experiencing hallucinations. He was hospitalized about 3 wks ago for 5 days. The meds weren't helping so I took him to Emergency Dept. Sun. night. They upped his Geodon to 60mg 2xdaily and added trazedone 50mg because he was having trouble sleeping. My 16 yr old has an anxiety disorder and dpression. She is on several meds too. I feel like such a failure as a parent I don't know what else to do for them. I am aslo bipolar with borderline personality disorder and have fibromyalgia. Any way I guess I will just sit and wait for dr. to call back about my son. I tried to keep this short.

[LeftCoastChick]

I have to agree, make sure you take care of yourself. It sounds like you are doing the right thing about getting your 14yr old into hospital, if the meds they gave him after his second visit doesn't seem to be doing much, you might want to considering having him admitted until he is stable. Actually either of your kids if  their meds aren't working well or they are losing touch with reality. You've done the best a mum could do. That alone is hard enough, but being Bp and BPD is tougher. Remember you need to keep your own stability, you sound like a great mum!
Hang in there,
LCC

[aadel]

Hey real,

You're really packing a heavy load there--or actually three of them, one for yourself and two for your kids.  My response is necessarily short:  It is so hard to come up with words of wisdom when someone is facing seemingly insurmountable difficulties.

One question: Is there someone close to you who can share with you the task of caring for your children and for yourself?  It seems to me that what you are up against is more than one person can be expected to handle all by herself.

Can you somehow co-opt your children to take on a degree of responsibility for themselves, to look out for signs of looming episodes, and to ask for help before their condition goes out of control?

Every once in a while, can you take some time for yourself to restore your depleted energy.  First and foremost, you have a duty to take care of yourself.  If you ignore your own needs and spend more energy than you can give, you can't be much help to anyone.

And whatever you do, for goodness sake don't accuse yourself of being "such a failure as a parent."  Be fair to yourself:  You did not cause your own difficulties, and you surely did not inflict your own children with mood disorders.  There is no virtue in blaming yourself for the blows you have been dealt.

I'm hoping for you.  
All the best!

aadel

[Twelvesgirl]

Goodness, I don't know what to say except your in my thoughts and prayers. Keep us posted. I'm sorry I don't have any advice.