Relationship with someone bipolar and an alcoholic

[jamiecase]

Hello,

I've been seeing someone that I believe has bipolar (from everything I read about it) for few months.  He's never told me he has the disorder and I don't believe he's on any meds. He is also an alcoholic (something he admits).  It's been an extremely tolling experience.  Lots of ups, but also lots of downs.  I've seen him blow up, loose his temper on numerous occasions, normally this happens while he's under the influence.  This makes me very nervous and I tend to shut down because I don't want to put him over the edge and get violent. In our relationship, he never takes the blame for anything, everything is always my fault, he twist my words and actions, and even if I show him the evidence, he will keep accusing me of things I didn't say/do. When we have an argument, he will give me the silent treatment and will not respond to my calls, sometimes this will last for days, then later when confronted will say he was fine and deny purposefully giving me the silent treatment.  He will blow up for no reason and will make a huge issue of something really minor, which will escalate into a break-up, which is what happened again. Another thing that I find strange is that one minute he'll say he loves me, then he takes that back and says he just likes me, and says he's not sure he wants to be with me.

I realize this is a board for bipolar disorder and not for someone who's bipolar and an alcoholic, but I'm hoping I can get some insight from anyone that's dealt with someone who struggles with both and not seeking help. It breaks my heart, because I love him, and want to help him, but I'm not sure how, and even if I'm capable of doing so.

Thanks.

[Hummingbird24]

No you are not able to help him. He is a grown man and needs to take responsibility for his actions and his own health. You need to leave this clearly abusive relationship. It will escalate to physical abuse, it's common for it to start out as just an "anger problem" and verbal/emotional abuse. Get out now while it no children are involved. Get yourself to a support group so you can recognize signs of abusive relationships. It sounds like it has taken a toll on your self esteem or you would have already left. No one deserves to be treated that way