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2034089 tn?1331756816

Unreliable?

Anyone else constantly making and breaking plans (telling others that you would love to do something and not fulfilling your promises)? It has become a significant problem for me and I was wondering if I was alone in this plight.
27 Responses
603015 tn?1329862973
I have always said to my docs and therapist that inconsistancy is the hardest most frustrating thing i deal with. You are not alone, I avoid making plans because of this, I dont know how I will feel a week from now, I miss out because of this. I think the fact that our moods change reflects our inconsistancies.
Avatar universal
  Om God I feel the same way I just posted the same thing. i feel like i hold my self hostage. I don't want to. But I can't help it. Between my moods and energy level. I'm stuck. I totally understand!
603015 tn?1329862973
Yep the energy is a major factor for me as well as my perception as this all changes with my mood. So my ability to comit is hard, i have been given tickets to travel to the uk from nz to see my family and i dont want to go for this very said reason, its horrible, i feel like i have been bullied into going but really i dont know how i will feel in two months or what struggles i will be having, sad really!
2034089 tn?1331756816
I am so glad that I am not alone. This is one of the toughest things (aside from completely wanting to die) that I have to deal with. I am in a constant state of guilt because I can't stick to my word. Thank you for posting a response guys/gals.
2034089 tn?1331756816
Oh... and I hope that you are able to see your family soon, hell1971.
Avatar universal
I make promises to my children an don't keep them...how terrible of me how can I teach them right from wrong when I can't keep a promise to my children. Then the guilt I feel when I see how hurt they are by my words. Then I find myself wantin to feel their pain, I don't actually know what state of Mind I am in
Avatar universal
I also have issues with this... I found that making a scheduel helped. I try & wake up, eat, shower ect. the same time everyday. if I dont want to I make myself remember there is a reason its on my list. then I have a weekly, and daily to-do list. it may not wrk for everyone but mentaly, I feel ive acomplished something each time I check something off the list. set up ur own weekly reward for 7 completly checked off lists. ask someone for support on them... having to answer to someone for not doing it is a good mobliator
Avatar universal
if u have someone close to u that is willing to be ur support make sure they r well educated about the complexities of bipolar disorder. an uneducated support system is not very useful because they will not take the responsibility as seriously as u deserve/need
2034089 tn?1331756816
I have lists of goals that I would like to complete daily, but I never really take them seriously. If it has helped you, I am willing to stick to it and give it a try. Thanks.
Avatar universal
I was diagnosed with chronic paranoid schizophrenia but I can relate because before I took medication I couldn't keep long term goals at all.  Now I have trouble keeping them because my goals get destroyed along the way to achieving them because I guess I set my goals too high for one person alone to achieve and then life steps in and messes them up (computer failure, for example?) so I try to set lower goals I can achieve on my own.
Avatar universal
no your not alone..you really mean it though,,when you say it..then out of nowere,,you wont do it..its anxtys related,,among others possibly agorphobia.
Avatar universal
It's an awful feeling all around.  Then when I actually do follow through I feel like I should have a parade in my honor for being able to do something that everyone else does on a daily basis.  The guilt just eats me!
Avatar universal
  I am in therapy have tried to go to school and i take on line classes. I am doing horrible I can't remember the misinformation. I think I have ADD. Think psychiatry told me at this age it doesn't matter! I am 42 I was blown away Where else can I go for help. he has me on stratera. When I am in school I wanna go home so bad i can't even think straight. I am diagnosed with bipolar 2. and anxiety. I cant retain information. I forget everything.! I want to go to school so bad but i feel forced. when i am there i am mad. my moods are horrible. i feel like a caged bird.
Avatar universal
I never have any energy to do any thing I am so sick of my self and complaing about It. i just don;t know what to do.:{  I feel horrible for my kids.
Avatar universal
  I do the same thing the only time we get out is when i have to do the grocey shopping or wash clothes! I hate myself.
Avatar universal
I usually try to avoid plans that way I don't have to get out of it. Being around certain people is a a lot of work. The only way I get through it is being pushed constantly by hubby or family. My mood reflects my energy level. Find support & try thinking positive, easier said than done.
2070929 tn?1331781141
I've learned not to make promises anymore. I dropped everything except my family commitments and only do other things when I'm well which is a major let down for my son as I don't get involved at school unless I can jut rock up and do it. I learned my lesson when I lost two jobs in 1 week for just not rocking up...
2074407 tn?1334001500
OMG, I totally get where you're coming from about the unreliability!!! It's such a nuisance and the guilt is chronic!! I've lost touch with so many people because of it :( I'm totally afraid to commit to anything and that ***** because I really want to work :( Has anyone found a good therapy got this? I don't like schedules or list (sorry surprisedbytwo
2074407 tn?1334001500
Sorry, pushed the wrong button...anyway, if any has any other tips that would be great :)
2010625 tn?1329372056
I think it would probably be hard for anyone with bipolar to be consistant. Bipolar dissorder in itself  is anything but consistant except for the fact that there is always inconsistancies. None of us can know how we will feel or what we can do one day from the next. Ever changing....
Avatar universal
Oh and I thought it was just me being lazy. I have cancelled so many appointments and outings with friends due to moods and energy and anxiety. Thank god I now know why.
Thanks for this subject.
Avatar universal
I am having the same problem. My husbands Daughter told me that I am unreliable and no one will give me a job, etc. I have been unreliable for about 7 years, since I lost my Mom and know my Dad. My Husband is in rehab and that is another story after two months in the hospital. I also have the feelings of wanting to die. What do we have? Depression, too much on our plate, can't handle it? I am tired. Do you have sleeping problems. I hope that there is a cure for this.
5254008 tn?1365731877
I do it too. Not that I dont want to go do something. I do its's just times I get in a MANIC state and I dont want to get out of bed or do house work or even leave the house for that matter. Days I dont want to go or do anything PERIOD.
5153554 tn?1365430705
OMG yes. I am so flaky! I change my mind so many times it'll make your head spin.
I'm trying to be more reliable, but this is a lifelong habit I need to break.
As you can read above, this is common.

I'm trying to make lists & stick to at least a few things I've said I'd do. It's mostly hard on my kids, and I don't want to let them down all the time. I try not to ever make promises, even though I'm 100% sure at the moment I can follow through, I know that surety fades.

Good luck!
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