I myself just say I am a person with a psychiatric disability. It may sound p.c. and the like but people understand it factually. Its who you are and yes how people act, not what the diagnosis is. If he doesn't realize you have bipolar then things are going well for you. It shouldn't make a difference but yes of course it might in the eyes of people who don't understand it. But educate him. There are NAMI support groups for friends and family members. Having bipolar doesn't make you less able to raise a kid. A lot of the people who post here have children. It can be inherited and there is no specific genetic test for it but most people have children all the same and its not a problem but if it concerns him that much you could adopt a child. But having bipolar alone should not be a factor in the relationship but its important to make realize that. You are a functional person like most of us and just explain it factually. It may take him a while to come to terms with it but I would say if he loves and supports you he will.
There's a real stigma attached to having any sort of "mental" issues. People tend to think that we're crazy. It bothered me for a long time, until I realized that hey, this is who I am. I have issues. I'm dealing with them, and am being treated. A frank discussion is really in order here, if you're serious about this person and being a part of their life. Be prepared to answer some questions, like, "what is bi-polar" "what does that mean, you have 'manic/depressive episodes'" "are you crazy?" These are a few of the questions I've had asked.
I just started seeing this guy, and he happened to mention over dinner that one of his exes was on medication. I took that as the perfect opportunity to let him know that I too, am on medication. He was supportive, and it's not an issue. Maybe you could sort of feel him out and see what his reaction is, and then plan accordingly. Not much help, sorry, but if you're serious about this person, and they're serious about you, then you do need full disclosure, otherwise you'll be forever hiding your meds, and that gets really, really messy down the road...... I'd be interested in hearing what the outcome is..... good luck!
Clearly, although I wished it were otherwise, we cannot hide our MI from the world forever. So the truth needs to be spoken if this connection is becoming a relationship (complete with child).
However, don't "drop the bomb" as you put it. Take it sages. Tell him your history and then offer to discuss BP with him the next time you meet. This gives him some time to reflect on wlhat you have revealed and to do some research. Then, at your next date, he wll have had a chance to digest your revelations and may be better prepared to ask questions.
All the best!
Sorry, a mistake crept into my previous post. In the first line of the second paragraph, it should say "However, don't "drop the bomb" as you put it. Take it in STAGES."
In my view this is one of the most difficult questions to answer neatly and i happen to see it all the time in other forums whether you have BP, OCD etc,...But for BP it's crucial he has to know, because you may be cycling one day (hope not) and he may feel it's your unbearable bad temper then he will regret not to have known you exactly. So eventually it's a must that he should know. this is definite in my view and not subject to opinions. but the important part WHEN should he know? in my opinion this has to be done smoothly bit by bit when you will feel yourself that time has come. if he cares about you he will walk with you side by side and life will go on and on, especially if you don't decide marriage say quickly and i don't advise that in a hurry. but if you are heading at the moment for a longer relationship then take your time and it's you who will decide when is the right moment. be sure he himself must have his drawbacks, nobody is 100% perfect.
i can see the reason of your concern. you thought if you tell him now then there is this possibility of deserting you, whereas if you wait until your relationship gets stronger then you would have cheeted him. in my view unless he is the sort of person who can understand then don't now. wait until things materialize well between you but then wait until a crossroad seems to appear like marriage say. but in a cohabitation for example why the hell he should know. this is your private business, and men like women - sorry to say it- but for love reasons more than anything else. i gather if i love a person that she is beautiful and sexy and forthcoming etc... i don't mind being the devil himself.
look, your life together will be plenty of hills and valleys and BP will be a small drop in the sea, so forget about it completely but eventually he will know and it will be you who will tell him when the time and need arrives
I think its sad that the stigma is attached to bipolarism,,,,,if you had diabeates or cancer you wouldnt hesitate to tell its the same thing an illness that you cant control its not your fault,,You a good person who deserves love.
I greatly appreciate the advice. There were things I needed a reminder of! I never thought that this was a common concern, i just thought i was stressing. So its nice to know i am not the only one! All of your advice will help me in finding the right time and also how to tell him, so thank-you!