how can i deal with a bipolar person ?

[glanzaf]

my bf mother shes a bipolar sometimes she so sweet anf sometimes shes so said ..... shes sometimes very happy and all of a sudden she starts to get very sad .... last time he get up her tone with me .... well i didnt say nothing to her but i respect her but the thing is that i didnt espect this from her .... if somebody can help of how can i act with her when shes so down please....i appricate alot if somebody answers my question

from stephanie

[glanzaf]

thanks alot my friends ... i appricate your help so much thank you once again

peace with you alll
stephanie

[ILADVOCATE]

Obviously a person with bipolar needs treatment and if they are not in treatment then the idea should be approached in a positive manner as if it will help with recovery because it will. I have a family member who has not gone to treatment yet (but are considering it) but they are in psychotherapy. The approach I use is gentle and non confrontational but encouraging them to approach issues in a factual manner without excess emotions. I try not to over discuss it but encourage them to bring it to their therapist and hopefully eventually psychiatrist. When they saw that half of the "crises" they had could be settled in a logical calm manner the whole idea sounded more positive to them and I think their life has improved overall and will continue to when they are under treatment. But they have cyclothymia which is mild bipolar. With full bipolar if a person is untreated or undertreated things get out of hand so its really not an option. Its a must. After they are in treatment, then talk therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy (if warranted) can help. Support groups such as the ones NAMI runs are good too. The worst thing is to be isolated. Have him encourage her to reach out and join some support groups to speak to other people with the same or similar issues.

[hyeyung]

To be honest, I would much prefer your boyfriend's mother over my sister.  Bipolar is very tricky - being depressed, elevated, and then back down again is rough.  But at least it's not aggression and anger.  This may sound insensitive, but it could be worse.  

My foster parents didn't know how to handle my sister's bipolar rage so they handed her to me, told me I had to be strong for her because she needed me and that I wasn't allowed to be sad - she was now my responsibility.  

I think the only thing you can do is avoid uncomfortable situations as best as possible, especially when they're as inevitable as Bipolar.  It's sad, but true.  But just because someone has a sick mind doesn't mean they're a good or bad person.  Maybe if you try to concentrate on the better qualities of the mother, it won't make it so bad?

[glanzaf]

thanks very much yes it helped me alot ...... yes my talked with my bf and he with all his patient was explaining to me how her moods swings from time to time ..... yes with my ways i showed her that i care alot about her i both her a mobile because i knewed that she wanted one and from that day shes ok with me

thanks alot for your help stephanie

[elwoodsf]

Dealing with a person that has bipolar can be difficult. I'm assuming since she has been diagnosed with bipolar that she is going through the medication process. Personally, when I am down I just want to be left alone so I would be spending time in my room when company comes over. I usually experience this type of sadness at certain times of the years. When I am like this, the people around me usually are understanding. I'm not sure how she insulted you but you do not deserve to be spoken to in any insulting way. It is not you. She may be saying mean things because of the pain she is in but you still do not deserve this treatment. Just remember it is not because of you.

Have you talked to your boyfriend about this? Maybe he could respectfully talk to her about your feelings and you wanting to help her when she is sad. Maybe he could ask his mom if there is anything you or your bf could do for her when she is in this mood. Your bf's mother may listen to him more than she would listen to you. Maybe he could talk to his mother about seeing her doctor for a check-up because he is worried about her. I've had my children ask me about getting a check-up and I realized that if they could see my unhappiness maybe I need to seek help from my doctor. Sometimes I don't realize I'm as sad as I am.

I hope this helps Stephanie. Best wishes to you ~ El

[glanzaf]

thank you so much for your help i appricate alot

peace to you
from stephanie

[mcb27]

Just understand!  A Bipolar person cannot help their moods, mood triggers etc. The meds are complicated and are more of a combination or 'cocktail' that are constantly being adjusted etc.

Now, if the person is not participating in their treatment or refuses treatment -- that's a different story.  I would still say, be as understanding as you can BUT I would not hesitate to stress to that person the importance of treatment and that you have limits and boundries that cannot be crossed.
Show you care -- sometimes all we (those of us with BP) see (or convince ourselves of) is the frustration of those aroiund us.

Good Luck.
Peace,
mcb27