have you ever just flet like

[Alex_X_18]

have you ever just felt like you don't want to tell you doctor if you are not doind well with you bipolar because you feel embaressed
I feel that way sometimes even though I know my doctor is only trying to help

[paranoid_cataclysm]

You need to tell your doctor everything that's going on with you.  I sometimes get really paranoid I'm not getting the proper treatment because I have so many things wrong I wasn't able to remember them all to tell my doctor.  I find it funny though because I asked my doctor when I remembered to why I would of been hallucinating at the age of 3 or 4 before I even had Bipolar disorder and she said she didn't know why and didn't ask me more questions to try to figure it out.  Best thing to do is write down a list as you think of things or experience them and hand it in to your doctor.

[Alex_X_18]

I guess sometimes its just that I feel like my doctor looks at me funny when I'm not doing so great and I am afraid of being jugded even though I proably shouldn't be...I've had the same phyc dodctor since I was 11 so she does know me pretty well sometimes I alsomst feel like she is disapointed in me when I am not as stable as I should be
since me and my mom have the same doc my mom knows her too and says that my doctor is only upset because she feels she cannot help me
.....I guess after a while I relaised maybe I should watch what I say or at least how I word things one day I was telling her how derpessed I was and I noticed her eyes were starting to water and she started rubbing them with her hands I guess that was when I relaised that what I say does have an impact

[cowgirlnerd]

Most of us have that paranoia and it's based on our illness, and because of the stigmas of bipolar.  Also, most of us hide our feelings and arent' honest with our close friends and family at times, possibly because we tire of being a "burden"; we are embarrassed; we constantly "check" our feelings to see if we are manic or depressed; and/or we might have an episode of false reality or paranoia.

Whatever the reason, it's just plain hard to deal with this disorder/illness, and not feel like you have to bare your soul to everyone all of the time, and it doesn't seem fair.

I have found, though, the two people that it's VERY important to be honest with is - my pdoc and therapist.

[morningglory333]

i also have felt the same way because i want to hide some of my feelings and i guess am in denial i  have an appt coming up and am going to be perfectly honest i get paranoid also that they will commit me or something...i even hide my feelings with my family ive tried to explain it to they but they just don't get it...good luck

[cowgirlnerd]

I haven't wanted to not tell him because of being embarrassed, but I have not told him everything because at the time I was in a paranoid state and didn't want to risk being hospitalized.

You should tell him, though if you are having a hard time.  It's hard for them to help us if we don't tell them everything.  There might be a modification of meds that might help.

Rach

[Germur]

Absolutely not!  You are paying for the Doc to help you.  Why on earth would you want to withhold information from him that may help him to better treat you.  Of all persons you do not need to feel embarassed in front of is your doc.  Take care